Archive for July, 2003

Counting

Thursday – 30 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 09 Sravana 1925 – 31 July 2003 

so here is todays normal post. or abnormal post. or whatever the hell you may want to call it post.

i was standing besides a road and was splashed by a lot of rain water. i was wearing white clothes. i am so proud my myself. i didnt ejaculate horribel expletives at the driver immediately. maybe that is why he felt so very sorry for me and reversed the car and said sorry. i think noone has said sorry in a such a situation is about 5 years in karachi. another thing for me to be proud of.

today i went to downtown for some work. i saw the tallest building in pakistan. it is the mcb plaza. and it is under construction right now. the guy i went with had to go get something. since i was such a mess i had to stay in the car. the car has stopped in front of the city court. it is SUCH a beautiful building. and yes you know what i did. i counted cars on the road. here is the iternary.

1600-1605 – 369 cars

1606-1611 – 29 buses – that comes to about 1 bus every 10.3 second

1612-1617 – 175 motorcycles

1618-1623 – 374 cars

1624-1629 – 58 saloon cars

TRAFFIC JAM LIKE HELL !!! then started counting when traffic started to move

1640-1645 – 481 cars

well then we came home. after getting stuck in the after work rush hour for one hour.

the most interesting thing i saw on that road were camel carts. yes camel carts. a camel pulling a cart behind it. loaded with stuff. it was very interesting. i saw 3 of them. maybe it was the same one. didnt see them that up close.

also today i paid homeage to the tallest building in karachi. the mcb plaza. it is a TALL alright. but it is nto good looknig. i hate the person who decided how to decorate the exterior. he should be made an example of hatred to art lovers all over the world

i will leave now. and let you collect your thoughts. after the battering they have undergone in my post.

Apology

Thursday – 30 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 09 Sravana 1925 – 31 July 2003 

hi all of you out there.

first of all i would like to apologize for yesterdays outburst. just some problems i am going through. shouldnt have thrown it all on you guys like that.

well one thing that i should tell all of you that read this blog. i have seen a lot of people blog about being in bad moods and such. but for me when i am in a bad mood. all my negative emotions, thoughts and feelings are directed towards me. i am everything that is wrong. never someone else. so when i do get in a bad mood i get nasty against me. nothing to get worried or concerned about ok. it is my format for a bad mood.

also when i am in a bad mood i tend to get very graphic. you should thank allah i dont type this thing in urdu. which is my mother tongue. if i did. most of you would just freeze in shock reading what kinds of things i think when i am in a bad mood and also do not shirk from writing down.

and francis i am NOT scum. i just thought i was for about 5 hours yesterday. and next time i am in a bad mood i will make it a point to read your comment to cheer me up.

also mak and crash. thank you very much. means a lot to know there are people out there.

Breakdown

Wednesday – 29 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 08 Sravana 1925 – 30 July 2003 

i am scum. i am fucking scum. i am the worst human ever on the face of this fucking planet. i am a curse sent down by allah upon my parents for their past sins. i am a curse sent down by allah upon my sisters for their future sins. i just wish there was some fucking way of dying without pulling my whole family through the trauma. if only there were a way for me to end this miserable existence and noone to get hurt now or ever.

Shocks

Wednesday – 29 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 08 Sravana 1925 – 30 July 2003 

two things that shocked the living hell our of me in the last hour that i managed to post about.

1- i saw oprah. there is this extremely cute guy who is probably an interior designer. but he is so so so so so cute. and yes according to my tradition i have already found something wrong with him. he isnt 6ft + in height. i am so gay.

2- i was watching *m*a*s*h* and they gave b.j. an absolutely sentimental and marvellous present on his anniversary. and i fucking cried. there were tears in my eyes. i mean with my cousin sleeping in the next. if he had gotten up and seen that. his MALE cousin crying. he would have shot him followed by all the other male members of my relatives. 22 year old pakistani male crying. i am so gay.

Singing in the Rain

Wednesday – 29 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 08 Sravana 1925 – 30 July 2003

hmmmmm. it is still raining. the city is in a mess. there a complete collapse of civilization as we know it here in karachi. the roads have borken into a million(more) potholes. floods ravage the city. vultures scavenge for dead meat that people might throw out in fear of disease. OH MY GOD ! i have to calm down i am being SO SO SO SO SO overdramatic.

well i went to this government and saw a very interesting thing. there on the window was a list of things that i needed to bring in order to get the work done. and below the list of 5 things was urdu “note : waqt bachanay kay liye fuzool sawalat say gurey karein” english translation “note : to save time please refrain from asking useless questions” loolz. laughed like hell at that. the guy behind the counter thought i was a wacko. so i had to act like one. he really hurried up with my paperwork. loolz.

well i am home again. and it is raining. my cousin is screaming at me to type lighter as he cannot sleep. i am still typing on being a bitch. he has a paper to submit so he was up all night. also he didnt turn down the music for me while i slept. so i am getting back at him. i am such a bitch.

also i got a webcam installed yesterday. i cannot wait to think of the possibilities. ;). i am a bitch ;). also i liked it at first but i hate it now. its picture quality leaves a lot to be desired. well what the hell at least i can talk to my bf (who happens to live in the same city) like every normal gay guy. wait a minute. cut the last sentence. it makes me sound like i need to cast in the next psycho movie.

so until next time. i will leave you all alone with your thoughts not mine. so as to let some sanity prevail on this little group of sorry folk who end up having to read my blog.

also i saw vanilla sky. maybe that is the reason this blog is so frikking psychotic.

Blogger

Tuesday – 28 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 07 Sravana 1925 – 29 July 2003

OH MY GOD !!! it is true. i have found another gay blogger from karachi !!!!! there are others like me in this world. i am not alone !!! i am not alone !!! well it is a relief. it is like being on a desolate island without any people. looking for people . andsuddenly after being all alone for two months. you see a human walking. and it is the utmost of relief and happiness. and tears of joy. well maybe i am making a bit toooooo dramatic. but what the hell. it is a nice nice nice thing to see someone else like me.

and you know what. he wrote the most flattering of comments about me. he said that he fell in love with me “swoon” he also liked my about me page “swoon” and he is from karachi. and he blogs too. there are only about 20-30 bloggers in karachi that is what i figure. this is so wonderful. his pseudonym is danial.

Chaos

Tuesday – 28 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 07 Sravana 1925 – 29 July 2003 

here in karachi this is what is going on.

you wont believe it. yesterday in karachi it rained 100mms in 6 hours. the rain was so heavy it broke the record for 25 years. i coundlt go to office yesterday or today. so i have to stay at home. sit on my computer and interact with the people at my office through my computer. sortof cool.

well the thing is it rained cats and dogs yesterday. the water drainage system of karachi is very very bad. the water that fell is now all standing in the low lying areas of the city. most of the major and main roads have about 1-2 feet of water standing on them. and many many cars have shut down because of water getting into the engines or other things. due to this there are HUGE traffic jams on nearly all major roads in the city.

on many roads no buses or public transport is moving so many many people have had to walk miles and miles to get to their houses. the sidewalks were filled with people going to their houses on foot. well i went for a long drive last night across the city to meet relatives who had come from the us and are going back tomorrow. it was horrible.

due to the excessive rains there is a lot of water. there is a lot of water in all the waterways in the city. water is standing in lowlying areas of the city. some of the areas have seen floods. some have seen flash floods. the situation in the city is apalling. the city is in a state of complete transportation collapse. the city is in a state of complete infrastructure collapse. the government of the city of karachi has declared a state of emergency all over the city.

so to all of my friends who read this from outside karachi. i am sure this is a new thing. doesnt happen on your side of the world. so welcome to the world forum and see what we have to go through.

oh yes i forgot. the electricity has been but in large naighbourhoods of the city to save people from getting accidental electric shocks. in some areas there is no power for one whole day. and here it is quite hot. very very hard to live without fans. hmmmmm. i think i have talked to much for now. ill post later. bye.

Weather

Monday – 27 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 06 Sravana 1925 – 28 July 2003

well brace yourself because this will be a long long post.

i come over to my cousins house last night. needed to get out of the house for a day or two. well so here i am all alone. he went to his college in the morning.

the computer is in front of me. the window is on my left. it is cloudy. overcast with uniform gray clouds. it is raining. there are a lot of thunder. not the shrieking type. the low rumbling type of thunder. there is a cool humid breeze blowing.

the tree right infront of the window is so wet. its leaves are dancing with every drop of rain that falls on them. rain water from the roofs of nearby houses is falling on the street and making a splashing noise. i can hear a mynah bird. with its cooOOO cooOOO. i can hear a sparrow with its chirp chirp.

oh so wonderful i am completely into this weather. it is so wonderful.

i have my favourite music playing. ghazals. and i have been like this for the last 2 hours. now playing ‘jab us zulf ki baat chali’ sung by mehdi hasan.

but there is one thing wrong here. i am alone. i wish if someone was here with me. well i wish if A was here. well i havent chatted with him for the last two days. although i have sent him emails. well i still hope he was here with me. it is cuh romantic weather. oooooooooo. wow lovely ghazal. now playing ‘aa keh sajjada nasheen kaisay hua merya baad’ sung by mehdi hasan.

chaak karna hay ishi gham say girayban e kafan

kon kholay ga teray band e qaba meray baad

i am just feeling so romantic and adventurous today. i dont know why but i think it is the weather and the music. i know that the weather and music have always had a very big effect on me. so is this day here.

i have been reading a lot of blogs lately. looking into peoples lives. looking at what they share. thinking about what they do not share. it is a fascinating world out there. it has so much to see and feel. reading blogs from pakistan to see what people are doing in my country. reading blogs from the world over to see what people are doing and seeing and feeling and thinking in the rest of the world.

it is a wonderful thing. bringing people closer. making them understand each other. with time the artificial lines made by government across the globe will get dimmer and dimmer. we will finally be able to understand each other better. we will finally be able to live like human and not territorial animals.

during the monsoon season (the one we are going through) people bathe in the rain. it is a nice temprature. not hot nor cold. but slightly warmish coolish. the perfect temprature. you do not feel it to be cold despite the wind. you do not feel it to be hot despite the temprature otherwise.

right now. about 5-10 children are bathing in the rain. runnig around. splashing water. jumping in the small puddles. singing songs that children sing during the rain. i remember all of this. i used to do it too. its the same street. the puddles are in the same places. the songs are the same. the houses are the same.

yadish ba khair (oh sweet memory … signifying a deep sense of nostalgia)

well now it is the perfect combination. excellent weather. excellent music. and i am feeling romantic and nostalgic. what more can one want. it is the state of blissful nirvana.

oooooooo. another mehdi hasan classic. this music is giving me an orgasm. baat karni mujhe mushkil kabhi aisay to na thee. jaisi ab hay teri mehfil kabhi aisay to na thee. uffffffffffffff.

i heard that mehdi hasan is in canada. he is undergoing medical treatment there. he is on his last breaths. it is so unfortunate. that a man of his calibre. the shahinshah of ghazal (emperor of ghazal) is dying.

his magical voice enchanted millions for decades. his grasp of music plucked the strings of millions of hearts all over the world. his alaap would send shivers of delight through millions of souls. his voice was an instrument in itself. it was the most beautiful of the instruments. he has the voice that will be remembered in legend all over south asia for ages. along with amir khusrau and tansen.

oh the rain is getting heavier all of a sudden. the children start shrieking with joy. heavier still. heavier still. WHOA WHOA WHOA. wow it is REALLY raining now. i better publish my blog before the power gets cut off and i lose it.

Update

Monday – 27 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 06 Sravana 1925 – 28 July 2003

i have made a few changes to the blog. a change has also been made to no.7 in the about me section. val kilmer before. david fumero now. i have no idea why i didnt put fumero in there at first. but maybe i was too sleepy and was forgetting obvious things.

i have added a few links to the sites that i like going to. a few blogs that i read. and that is about it. also a flag of pakistan to signify that i am a pakistani. maybe at some later date ill get a bigger flag.

so have fun and enjoy your stay.

Car

Monday – 27 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 06 Sravana 1925 – 28 July 2003

people who have spent one whole day looking for a new car in a large city like karachi will know what i talk about in this post(this is one of the longest sentences that i have ever written). looking through the classifieds on a sunday. talking a bunch of people half of whome were half wits and a quarter or whome were quarter wits.

then we finally saw a nice car. we went to it. we looked at it. we pushed it. we pulled it. we checked it. we liked it.

we then followed the age old tradition of the orient. haggling. for half an hour we haggled. we told each other not to overprice. we exaggerated the flaws. the owners exaggerated the good things. we told them not to do this so we do not have to fall to the level of petty bargaining. they told us the same thing. people shook their heads in disbelief. people told each other how poor they were and couldnt afford this or that. people told each other about how much they needed that money. people told each other that such a small amount doesnt matter. but by the end it wasnt about the money. it was about who wins. streetwise men trying to get the upper hand. whoa. and you think i wouldnt get turned on but i did. the two people bargaining were both hot. and i have a thing for one of them so i liked it.

next we came home. one by one the other two guys went away i was left with the guy who bargained from my side. well he was the one i had the thing about. well he is gay. so am i. and we both know about each other. and we both know that we both know about each other. well at night we both went for dinner together. i think he likes me. but i am with A.A. also i think he is nice and cute but just as a friend. how the hell do i make him stop thinking about me without hurting him. damnit! i dont know the easiest of things.

i am such a moron.