Lonely

Friday – 18 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 28 Asadh 1925 – 19 July 2003

OH MY GOD! it actually is such hard manual labour. when i read makkie writing about cleaning the house and getting exhausted i didnt know why. now i know. it is HARD LABOUR!. well here in pakistan people live with their families. i am an only son. so i am the only young man in the house who do all the hard labour. so i am doing it. i am taking a half hour break. maybe just to write this post.

well pakistan is a society where we have much stronger gender roles than america. actually very defined gender roles. men do not do the house work. men do not cook or clean. that is womens work. but wait. this isnt over. men dont get off that easily. in return for that. we are the men. we do all the manual labour. the MANual labour. we move furniture. anything that weak women cant do. it is different. well it is hard to expain how things in pakistan are. maybe with time ill clear it out somewhat.

and oh yes i didnt tell you this. the only thing functioning is this house is the computer coz i fixed it first thing. there is no water here. so i cant go to the bathroom. no water to drink so i cant drink. no food to eat so i am damned hungry. no nothing to sit on so i am sore. i am hungry thirsty sore tired bitchy and DAMNED HORNY! well that is coz someone sent me some porno pics in my mail. and unfortuntely i saw em. and unfortunately they were hot. and i didnt get time to take care of myself. so i am horny as well. i hate people who send unsolicited porn and create problems for all of us.

i will be alone in the house at night. all alone. sleeping on a bedsheet on the floor. well it has been about few months since i was all alone in a house. and i also know that i have this strange irrational fear of the dark. god knows how the night will turn out.

i dont intend to bum all of you out talking about my non existent love life. but i really wish i had someone to spend the night with. and yes i am not talking about sex. i am talking about someone i can catch a movie with. have dinner with. talk to. laugh with. stuff. i dont know. it sux like this. but whatever. i will get up tomorrow and start moving the furniture all day. i am hoping we get everthing fixed tomorrow. then we will get some workers to get everything fixed and checked. then we will hope fully move in about 3-4 days from now.

wow. i always end up writing long long posts. so bye. ill write later.

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