Archive for August 2, 2003

Whimsical

Saturday – 03 Jamadi us Sani 1424 – 11 Sravana 1925 – 02 August 2003 

well remember the time when you go home. everyone is really nice. they treat you well. they cook you magnificent food. and stuff. well i am sure you dont. because i dont either. such a perfect time doesnt exist. there are always things that screw it up.

like the time when someone spills milk on the expensive silks. or when someone says wow you have lost weight just to be nice. and the other person says. you think i was fat before ? or when everyone stops to take a breath and there is a long awkward silence. or when the food gets burnt and one woman has to cry about how she cannot do anything right. or when oh yes this is what happened to me. you fall down in the mud made by the rain and soil yourself. and the 5674 relatives in your house for the party make fun of you for 4 hours.

also. when someone tells you to trust them when they sell you something. DONT ! never trust someone who is selling. always check up. even if it is just a jeans and you wanted to know if they look good on you. or if it is a new form of hair growing creme that is purple and has fumes coming out of it.

hmmmmmm. you know what. i am beginning to think i am wierd. i write about the strangest of things. why am i like this? (note to self: jalal please dont go there) ok ok. so why would someone think this way (note to self: jalal please dont go there). ok ok. whatever.

so you see it takes three lines to get paranoid and start talking to oneself. and all this infront of other people. oh my god. i so need to get a life.

also i dont understand one thing. i am sorry i probably would be removed from the gay brother(sic)hood but what is a drag queen.

another thing. when americans talk abotu beer or alcohol. there are times when you need a break. or need a relief. or need to be aloof. you talk about getting alcohol. what does it do. i have never had alcohol. what does it do. i mean stuff like. my mom is coming. i hate my mom. so i am going to get drunk. or i dont want to sit with them all night but i have to so i will get alcohol. i mean what is the deal with alcohol.

Declamation

Saturday – 03 Jamadi us Sani 1424 – 11 Sravana 1925 – 02 August 2003 

when i started this blog i wanted to do one thing. share my thoughts emotions feelings and actions with others. without any let or hindrance. completely free as what i am. telling them when i feel down. telling them when i feel elated. telling them everything uncensored. telling them i was a gay guy and that is why i think differently.

well today i noticed one thing. when i started this blog. i didnt think about activism as such. but now i am thinking about it. actually i am thinking a lot about my position in society. my right. my duties. that is why i am adding some links to gay sites and resources and portals pertaining to pakistanis and muslims who are gay. just to show you what is going on with me.

i am a man.

i am a muslim.

i am a pakistani.

i am gay.

i am proud of being gay.

anyone who have a problem with that can lead his own life the way they want and not meddle in my affairs. i am beginning to ask for my rights. but of course with a pseudonym. pakistan is not ready yet. i am not either.

i am proud of being a muslim.

i am proud of being a pakistani.

i am proud of being gay.

anyone who has religious moral ethical social or cultural scruples should know that i also have my thoughts. i also have my prejudices. but i never force mine on others. others should do the same. live and let live. the only way to a healthy society where majority opinions are not crammed down the throats of minorities.

this it my declaration of independence.

i shall never be ashamed of being gay.

i shall hold my head high and not be ashamed of the truth.

i shall accept being a muslim and being gay.

i am gay !

I Am Gay !

I AM GAY !