Archive for September 7, 2003

Clashing Sounds

Sunday – 09 Rajab 1424 – 16 Bhadra 1925 – 07 September 2003  

i was told that i am a freak 5 mins ago. by my mom. i was listening to my music. usually the problem is that childrean listen to NEW forms of music and parents dont like that. here. i listen to classical forms of music and my mom calls it a cacophony of clamourous sounds. go figure.

well i listen to classical and semi classical south asian music. the raaga. the ghazal. the thumri. the geet. now that the background is done i will proceed.

currently everyone at my home laughs at my music and calls me dead man. lots of eye rolling and messaging about it all the time. that is not it. except for everyone in my house. everyone i know in person laughs at it as well. it seems that my music is so strange that everyone laughs at it. my musical choice has been the topic of many a joke and comment even places where i wasnt present.

well this is ovbviously depressing. i havent come across any one after my university who is nearly my age by about 20 years and shares my musical taste. well i dont know what to say. their loss. a man screaming your loss in the face of 100 % of the other people his age and beloging to his country.

what the FUCK! is wrong with me. why the FUCK do i listen to classical or semi classical music. when people laugh at it and say who died why are you listening to this. and people have actually started laughing when i told them what i listen to. i mean come on. i think given a choice the social stigma will be more for me due to what i listen than due even to my sexual orientation.

oh he is gay … too bad … but he is a nice person.

WHAT !!! he is 22 and he listens to ghazals and raagas … KEEP AWAY FROM HIM !!! i dont want you mixing with people like that.

i am terribly depressed. i seem to be fond of something that can only be seen as an affliction. it is so horrible and terrifying that people shy away from it. it is so ridiculously funny that people laugh alond at its mention. what the FUCK!!!

i am very very depressed. i cant be gay. now i cant listen to my music. why the hell cant i get even a small break. what the FUCK!!! music DAMNIT it is only MUSIC !!!

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Roohi

Sunday – 09 Rajab 1424 – 16 Bhadra 1925 – 07 September 2003 

i saw a drama today. “roohi” casting ‘talat hussain’. well lets just say that anyone who can understand urdu. who likes beautiful things. who can appreciate a drama. has to watch it. if you dont watch it you will lose something. you will lose something. watch it. please. i beg of you. watch it.

the acting. oh dear dear lord. the acting. talat hussain and the girl. it is wonderful . the subtle subtle hints. the hints that i can understand as a pakistani. the ghazal being played at a certain point and the wording telling you what is going on. the music being played to heighten or dampen the mood. the way the actors had small … minute eye movements and worlds of meanings that they held in them.

the subtle subtle things. and the big big meanings. barefoot in the library showing casual as opposed to formal. the way talat is shown and the very very subtle things in which i can see a man who has the morals of a pakistani from a well educated background and who grew up in 1950s and 1960s. oh it is a wonderful drama. you have to watch it. have to.

i am in a wonderous mood right now because of that. it was like i was touched by a ray from heaven. the beauty. the aesthetic. the touch. the feel. the desire. the passion. the ‘haya’. the ‘hijab’. the aura. the whole feeling of the art of drama touching the epitome of sublime beauty and me watching it. and the ability to share it with someone else, in this case my cousin. it was wonderful. i hope all of you as wonderous evenings as i had today.

pakistan has a very rich tradition of tv dramas. until the late 80s pakistan saw only one tv channel. pakistan television ptv. and they used to show a drama every night between 8 pm and 9 pm. there used to be 4 quarters in a year and 13 episodes in every quarter. there were times when between 8 pm and 9 pm the streets of karachi used to be deserted. throughfares and main roads were emptyish. everyone used to watch the dramas.

and they were excellent. in the script. in the acting. in the directing. in the sets. in the expression. in the settings. everything. they used to be excellent. the art was carried to new heights in pakistan. tv drama. called “drama” lovingly by millions of pakistanis. it was our art. we mastered it. we took it to its zenith. the drama reached its peak in the 80s. tanhaaiyan, waris … well known pieces of art.

unfortunately the art of the drama has gone down now. maybe itll resurrect some day later. but by god it was a marvellous time while it lasted. i hope comes back.

Defence Day

Saturday – 08 Rajab 1424 – 15 Bhadra 1925 – 06 September 2003 

the 6th of september was the day in 1965 that india and pakistan went to war. india crossed over the international border between pakistan and india at about 5 am on the night of 6th september and invaded pakistan. pakistan resisted the attack. well the war dragged on for some time. both sides declared a victory and got extrememly excited after the war was over. they still talk about how they whooped each other asses.

well to india. fuck you. you didnt get anything. you didnt get kashmir. you didnt get any of your objectives. how the hell can you call that a victory. if you dont get your fucking objectives you cant say you have won.

well to pakistan. fuck you. you didnt capture any indian territory of importance. you didnt get kashmir. you didnt manage to stop india. if you cant fucking get your objectives you cant say you have won.

to india and pakistan. FUCK YOU! you fucking morons. the people in your countries were in abject poverty during that time. things were worst then than they are now. HOW DARE YOU GO TO WAR !!! nations where people dont get their rights. where people have to sleep hungry and drink unclean water. where the basic necessities of life as defined at that time werent available. HOW DARE YOU GO TO WAR !!! SICK SICK SICK AND PERVERTED !!! damned idiotic politicians and military men. DAMN YOU !!!

the only thing that we hear about is how many planes were downed. who destroyed whos how many ships. etc etc etc. well noone ever talks about how many people died. indian and pakistani ? dont we fucking count. is this only a game for the fucked up hindu and muslim military personnel to butcher each other and us in the process ? is this how it happens.

why dont we count ? the citizens and the civilians. we do not want war. we want peace. we want to lead normal lives where there isnt a power cut or load shedding for abotu two hours a day. i want the roads to be built which are currently HORRIBLE in karachi. that is what i want. i dont want pakistan or india to fight wars and kill me. i want them to give me a life which i can lead as a human not an animal like we 1.3 billion humans do right now.

to india and pakistan and their desire to kill and maim us only so that they can hide their own political inadequecies. FUCK YOU ! give me clean water. give me continuous electricity. give me a job. give me a working civic system. give me a proper education. give me a clean environment. if you cant do that … which you havent been able to till now. FUCK YOU !

FUCK Government of Republic of India and Government of Islamic Republic of Pakistan

LONG LIVE PAKISTAN AND INDIA AND THEIR PEOPLE

it is about time the guns went down. and the elements of peace security and prosperity took over.

Long live the people of India Pakistan and Bangladesh.

Pakistan Paindabad … Jai Hind

South Asia Zindabad.

Ambulance

Saturday – 08 Rajab 1424 – 15 Bhadra 1925 – 06 September 2003 

hmmm a long day. long long day. but i am very proud today. today when i was in the car. i heard a siren. we didnt understand at first. but then i realized it was an ambulance. usually in pakistan people do not move out of the way for the ambulance. they way we look at it. the guy in the ambulance doesnt have an emergency he just wants to get ahead. yes yes. we are sick sick demented people. i hate this thing with the ambulances. well but today i was very proud. as the ambulance got closer all the cars moved to the left and let it throught. acutally cars moved into the left lane for a long long way so the ambulance sped past. it made me so proud to see this slightly uncommon display of civic sence and human compassion. well i hope whoever was in the ambulance is safe. my love for karachi had increased due to this display. i hope everyone in this city grown to be a model citizen. and pakistan paindabad. well seems like today is my nation worship patriotic attack day ;)

also in other news. today was one of those days that i call candy days. days on which i get to see more than 5 extremely hot guys which would mean guys i would rate more than 7/10. well it happened today. wow. i am so excited today. well there were ones at the office. at the market. on the roads. everywhere. and one of them was staring back at me. i could feel goosebumps and i could feel a noise like ZUNNNNNNNNNN that is how excited i was that is HOT guy was staring back at me. it could have been anger as well. but i dont care. he was cute. if he wants. he can kick my ass ;)

thats about it for today so ill see you all later on.