Archive for September, 2003

in other news. i just got a "neem" tree for the ga…

in other news. i just got a “neem” tree for the garden and my grandfather who loves gardening put it in the ground. so its been one day. i am keeping my fingers crossed. i love the neem tree. it is tall. it is leafy. it is green. and it seems like one helluva tree. so i want it to grow. wish me luck.

also in other news i am chatting with this guy for some time. and i seem to think that i like him. also i think he reads my blog. so i shouldnt be saying this over here. but whatever. he is nice. and shockingly he watches the same tv programs i do. which is such a coincidence and i am very excited about this. so lets see how that proceeds. and he even has a nice name (no i am not the most unreasobale person ever … i think it counts what a guys name is)

in still other news. yesterday was allahs present to me on my birthday. well i saw so many beautiful beings i was out of control.

i rate men from 0-10. since i dont usually talk to them this is a completely physical rating. i saw a guy who i rated 10. which is VERY uncommon. since the last one was about two years ago. and then i saw two guys who i rated 8. now lemme tell you that is no ordinary day. i was so happy yesterday.

the 10 pointer i saw when i was out with my cousin and friends for tea. he sat on the table infront of mine. and i could see him well. WOW! 10 points. that is equal to david fumero not a lean feat. well i dont know why but this line from a coulet kept going on and on in my head. it is in farsi but it is very pertinent.

ae turk e ghamzazan kay muqabil nasheesta

sitting in front of the ballad singing turk

here turk means beautiful man

well that happened yesterday. WOW nice.

hmmm. well it was a normal day until i got off the…

hmmm. well it was a normal day until i got off the car. when i got off the car my shirt got stuck in the door and i heard an audible rip. hmmmm. what the hell. but when i looked at my shirt i couldnt see it. feeling slightly strange i told my cousin about it. he said maybe a small rip with a big noise. so a started to move away. after two or three steps there was a gust of wind.

WHOOOOOOOOOOO !!! WOWOWOWOEEEE !!!

my pants were ripped at the crotch. BIG RIP ! felt like i was naked and all that wind in my pants. well unlike last time (entry on 2003 09 10) this time i was wearing underwear. only the rip was HUGE. i mean i asked my cousin if he could see it. and yes he could see it when i was walking. WOW! BIG RIP!

needless to say i didnt care if anyone peeked inside. their perversion not mine. so like our plan we went out and had lunch. i kept my legs closed. oops. embarrasing. but nothing happened. i walked back to the car. VERY slow lest any more rips. and here i am blogging about one of the more embarrasing days of my life. ;)

well i didnt post yesterday. sorry. birthday ;) an…

well i didnt post yesterday. sorry. birthday ;) and well i like birthdays very much. i get to be rude and mean and noone minds :) muahhahaha. i had a pact with my mom and sisters before the birthday that i will be rude and mean and they have to bear with it.

they did bear with it.

but at 12 tonight they all came into my room. and guess what. they are my family after all. threw LOTS of old glue on the floor. and to add to it. they threw some oil as well. since it isnt my birthday i have to work as well. which means i just got finished with cleaning my rooms floor.

lets just say. IT IS WAR !!!

I dont know why but I am in a VERY romantic mood r…

I dont know why but I am in a VERY romantic mood right now. Listening to my romantic music. Old indian songs. “saagar kinare”. Old pakistani songs. “akelay na jaana”. English songs. “clapton – layla” “elvis – the wonder of you”. Oh god i am in a VERY romantic mood.

I am feeling a deep deep longing for someone or something. I cannot explain what this desire, this urge is for. I really can not. It eludes me. But there is a very strong desire for something. I get this feeling on and off. Specially after watching a movie that I loved very much and wanted to continue. Sometimes on a beautiful evening with a light breeze and cloudy skies. Sometimes in summer nights when the fan is on full and I havent had any human contact for some time and I am listening to music.

I cannot be sure but it is a desire for love. A desire to love someone. A desire to be loved by someone. The love that you have for a partner, a spouse a lover. That love. A relationship. To have someone in my bed. And have him there even when I am awake. To have afternoon tea with him. To watch uncountable sunrises and sunsets with him. Allah ! how beautiful a world you have made.

Ending on the note that if any of you get any cheeky ideas pertaining to my situation, do share them with me ;)

hmmmm very bad mood. anger, depression and severe …

hmmmm very bad mood. anger, depression and severe emotional distress. i just wrote a long post. then i deleted it. no need to be a drama queen.

so ill just get excited again. and laugh and cheer like i did in college. i was an idiot back then ;) i used to be the centre of everyones jokes in college. why? because i felt that people bonding over something … even if it is making fun of me is nice. talk about being an idiotic buffoon. well i have realized that noone on this planet sacrifices any of their own things for anyone else. so that is what i am trying to make myself. inshallah with time i will succeed.

ghalib said that

maut ka aik din muaiyyin hay

neend kyun raat bhar naheen aati

the time of death is decided

why cant i sleep all night long

this shaer is playing in my mind again and again. why do we fear death so much when it is not in our hands.

i like to check out on who comes to blog. sometime…

i like to check out on who comes to blog. sometimes people come here through searches on search engines. some of the searches are strange to the extent of being shared. so here is this weeks list of strange searches. i will group the searches according to why i find them amusing.

1 – a very normal casual everyday search. but what the hell is my blog doing in this search.

– karachi motorcycles (nothing to do with this at all … no idea how i turned up in this search)

– pakistan dairy (i like milk, butter, cheese, lassi and other dairy productrs. but that doesnt mean i should be a result of this search)

2 – searches made by people desperately looking for sex. and yes i should feature in these ;)

– karachi slutty girls

– love making in urdu

– msn id of ladies in pakistan

– fucking places in islamabad pakistan

– karachi gay address for meeting

– sex in pakistan

3 – a not so very normal casual everyday search. but my blog in it means there is something wrong with me.

– koi socially depressed (WATCH IT BUD ! there are times that i am depressed but not so much that it should be a result of search queries)

– pakistani khanay(t. pakistani food) (ok i like food and i am slightly fat. but DAMN YOU GOOGLE. DAMN YOU. how dare you pull the good jalal name in the mud here)

– uncommon sence (now this is downright rude and cheap. HOW DARE YOU YAHOO! HOW DARE YOU ? this will be the last straw my involvement in any other search results that drives away possible suitors will cause some serious kick ass)

oh yes i have go now and irritate the hell out of my mom. i cant understand why she feels irritated when i run muddy hands on her face. oh so till later. ta ta.

anyone who reads should read it all. because leavi…

anyone who reads should read it all. because leaving in the middle might convey a wrong impression.

todays post will be about what happened on the day of 11-09-2001. i was in college back then. had gone for a game of basketball. we can back at around 1900 and decided to get something to eat. i was washing my hands when i heard someone scream. “AA WOO HOO !!!” i was like. “ohkkkkay. seems like people are VERY excited today”. then i heard a “YEAH BABAY” i was like i have to hurry up the cleaning and see what is going on. as soon i entered i heard a “this will teach america” again i was like. “what happened ?” there was another “this is what they get for killing innocent muslims” and then there was a “so america thinks they can kill and sit back … now they arent so safe as well”

now. most of my relatives live in america. and most of them live in greater nyc area. so i was beginning to get worried. just one day ago i had heard of the possiblity of a nuclear meltdown anywhere. so i was worried. i asked one of the VERY excited guys. “what happened? man come on tell me?” and suddenly someone else burst through the doors and said out loud “CNN is saying 10000 dead” i was like “oh fuck!!!” serious sinking feeling. what the fuck is going on. i hope everyone is safe i have to call america”. well i thought the guys in my college are idiots.

then a few more excited gusy with news and number. and i forgot about dinner. and i walked dazed to the tv room. yes there it was. a tv. 50 students sitting infront of it. too many. too many. this means some VERY big thing. well i sat down. and i saw the movie of the first tower going down. i saw it. a huge building and it went down in a matter of second. and i saw people jumping out. from what i heard at that time. it was the first time the actual movie was shown. with the movie the level of hilarity in the room dampened and the level of aaaaa oooo whoaaaa s increased. along with a few. “oh my god … is that a person ?” when i saw the tower go down. i had a huge shock and a sinking feeling. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. i have a large number of people living in nyc. anyone of them could have been there. anyone. i have to call them.

i ran to the pay phone. there were more than usual people there. they were all talking about it. and they well all calling to get info about america. i called home first and asked them about news. and my dad said. calm down and stay put. do not call anyone in america. let them settle down. they will call you ok. also keep your msn or mirc or email on so we can send you any news. i came back to the tv room. this time. no whalloping. all quiet. people just staring at the screen. with pictures, movies, numbers and things being thrown at us. it was shocking. everyone was quiet. the people who said this will teach america a lesson were thinking about the disaster now.

10000, 2000, 50000, 8000. i mean come on. this is no small thing. this is so so so big.

after one news report from cnn we shifted to bbc then someone said lets look at fox. cnn and bcc were shocked. fox was a raving piglet. muslim terrorists. muslim terrorists. muslim terrorist. within 5 mins. everyone in the room was raving mad at fox for their unfounded remarks. cnn and bcc are saying it is too say to say who. fox is saying muslim muslim muslim kill kill kill burn burn burn. we were all shocked. why us ? what did we do? this seems so much like the oklahoma bombing. now americans will beat up muslims all over the country and in the end it will be a group of neo-nazis or aum shinrikio or something.

blaming after evidence is something else. but blaming and finger pointing without evidence. down right wrong. well we changed the channel immediately. now i was also worried about another thing. my relatives are muslims. so if they didnt die in the attacks they might die in the streets. shoot. well i called dad again he said the same thing. all night passed. now after one day. cnn and bcc were ready to say that some evidence was unearthing of there being involvement of muslim groups.

well let me just say that we here in pakistan were as shocked by this as people anywhere else would be.

before i proceed i must say one thing. i am opposed to the killing of civilians by anyone. from which ever side. terrorist groups such as al qaeda, state terrorism such as israel, governments such as the government of burundi. i do not support the killing of civilians at all. even during a war. no matter what. muhammad the prophet of islam has expressly forbidden the killing of anyone who is in bearing arms and fighting in a war. non combattants are not fair game. you cannot kill them period. if they are office workers in the wtc. if they are muslim students an afghanistan madressah. if they are iraqi civilians in baghdad. if they are israeli fishermen. no matter who. it is not allowed. i will not support it at all.

but then america attacked afghanistan. without proof. the usa didnt even have proof at that time. and they attacked afghanistan. with public opinion for muslim blood frothing and flowing. they attacked afghanistan. the media playing its part of making afghanistan seem as the scapegoat. so much so that usa public opinion gave the go ahead. everyone knows that the final piece of proof which the usa cited “as yes now we have proof” was found in a cave in afghanistan after the attack and that too a tape. something that is being forged at the drop of a pin. no really within one day i can get about 100 movies of clinton and bush having sex in karachi. is that proof ? is this fair. if you are in the park and someone hits you. should you go and hit the first person who you have suspicion on ? no i dont think so.

well that happened. we were told of a wonderful future of afghanistan. we were told afghanistan would be a modern democracy. is it ? i dont think so. can any american now say that they have done something good for afghanistan ? any one ? no you cant. coz you havent.

and similarly with iraq. what there. i dont see anything. no smoking guns. no proof. just like afghanistan. just like that. an aggression and then no proof whatsoever. i do not think this is right. it is wrong. you cannot attack other countries to take public attention off the local economy. it is WRONG! anyone who supports the war on iraq should first see the results of the war on afghanistan. if you can say. knowing that you are in the presence of god and your conscience. if you can say that your attack on afghanistan is a success.

there is one thing that i will say. in america the support for attack on iraq was divided half half. in the muslim world it was 97 % against. 2 % dont know. 1% can i get some bread please i need to feed my kids.

there is one thing though. the muslim world could have hated america. but we dont. we know that there are millions of americans who were opposed to it. we know that millions of americans stood up for the rights of iraqis. we know that because we saw it. and that is what unites us. the human sense of compassion for fellow man.

all the citizens of the world united. by the media, by the internet and by every other resource that lets us say. stop it you are hurting me. because the other person will stop. as we have seen. and that is what unites us in the end. all the al qaedas, the neo cons, the kkks, the rsss stand aside. and on the other hand. 90 % of the worlds humans. compassionate and loving. caring and delicate. non violent. non destructive. hostage to the other 10%. yes i am from the 90%. and i am proud of being in that group.

now n few lines from the urdu poet Faiz one of the best poets of the last century.

hum dekhain gay. lazim hay keh hum bhi dekhain gay. jab raaj karey gi khalq e khuda. jo main bhee houn aur tum bhee ho.

we will see. it is imperative that we will see. when gods creation will rule. that which i am and which you are.

the day is not far when decent humans will forge human destiny. not the destiny of one petty nation or another. but the whole of human destiny. with common goals and common feelings. and then will we be free at last. inshallah we will see that day. and then there will be peace and prosperity. at last. at long last.

inshallah.