Archive for October 8, 2003

Why can I not see my archives for the month of Jul…

Why can I not see my archives for the month of July when is an actual webpage with my blog on it. Why ? Why must all this happen to me.

And while I am lamenting the problems of my blogging system. Squawkbox – FUCK YOU!.

If anyone out there knows how to solve the problem with the archives. Please tell me.

This is what happens every fucking time. Whenever …

This is what happens every fucking time. Whenever I am in a fight or in a tense situation I do this. Everytime.

Damn it. I never storm out. I never go for a walk. I never stop talking to the other person. I never do something that might make them feel sorry. Instead I punish myself and try to make it seem as if everything is ok. NOT for my sake. But for the other persons sake I dont fucking want them to feel bad.

And every fucking time. EVERY fucking time I end up hurting both me and the other person. What the Fuck should I do now? Haan ? What?

I take care not to hurt someone. And they get hurt all the same. What the fuck do I do ? If I dont care they will get hurt all the same ? WHY ?

Damn it. I dont know what to do. It just sux. Why is that everytime I stand at a fork both the choices given to me lead to a situation worse than I am alread in. So I get a choice. And the feeling of helplessness when I fail. I fucking hate this.

I had a thing with my cousin. I didnt talk to him after that. Now I cant storm out of the house. Coz then he would think that I am very angry. And I cant stay in the house coz then he would think that I am there to mock him. See. I hate this. Two choices BOTH FUCKING SUCK! DAMN IT!

Well I am shocked today. SHOCKED. I came out of my…

Well I am shocked today. SHOCKED. I came out of my house about 1400 today and someone told me that there is a dead body at the end of our street. I tried to go there but there was a HUGE crowd there already. About 50 people. Then I was told that the body had been sent to a nearby hospital. I came back. Into my street I saw a trail of blood. Leading to a Rickshaw. And the seats of the Rickshaw were blooded. I was shocked. Later on when the Police came again into the neighbourhood. They said they think that maybe the passenger tried to rob the Rickshaw owner. Who resisted and got his throat slit. FUCK! Well eye witnesses said that the Rickshaw owner walked about 100 feet to the nearest road with his throat slit and blood gushing out of his wounds. His clothes drenched in blood. God. It is horrible. The suspect has not been caught. I saw the blood twice today. It was very very depressing. There is this guy. Who probably had a family to feed and people to take care of and now he is dead. So damned depressing. One life lost so uselessly. I only hope that he went to a place better than he left.

No idea what to type. Except. Please learn somethi…

No idea what to type. Except. Please learn something about Homosexuality before you pass your judgements. It is NOT a choice. It is NOT a liking. It is NOT an inclination. It is an orientation. People do not BECOME gay. They ARE gay. I think we should all try to learn at least as much before we pass judgements. And as far as religion in concerned. I do not think I can believe in a religion that says Homosexuality is unnatural. Because I am a Homosexual and I am natural. What other proof do i need of that religion being completely farce.

Waisay I have noticed that I at times write things on my blog that according to Pakistani law will be counted in blasphemy and I can easily be given the death sentence for my blasphemous opinions and thoughts ;). So basically. Pakistani Legal System – FUCK YOU! Pakistani Mentality of Fucked up Religious Extremism – FUCK YOU!