The Runaway … Part 2

And to think that I have always kept my familys happiness and feelings above mine. It would seem strangely ironic that I end up hurting them so much. Which also shows me how good I am in my life. I am a fucking PIG. I hate my life. I curse the moment I was born only to hurt my parents in return.

I feel like such a complete disgrace and a failure as far as my emotional and mental capabilities are concerned. I ran away from home. I mean that means I am very very emotionally and mentally unstable. I cannot get along with people. I cannot keep up a normal decent relationship and even that with my mom fro crying out loud. What the hell is wrong with me. What kind of a moronic buffon cannot even get along with his mother and then fights with her all the time an runs away from home. Someone in college said that I am not emotionally stable and I think he was right. I am unstable. I am a freak. I am a lunatic. I feel like shit right now.

And yes. Fuck me. I cannot even cry. I FUCKING want to cry. But I FUCKJING cant. Maybe God’s way of getting back at me. Why dont you believe in me. I am an egotist if you do not do what I say I will make your life hell. WELL I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! OK !!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU FUCKINGH WANTED !!!! WELL HERE IT IS !!! —– LA ILAHA ILLALLAH! —– SEE I READ THE KALIMA AND I AM A MUSLIM NOW!!! SO STOP TORTURING ME !! At least let me fucking cry.

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