I have decided to try the one post a day thing. It…

I have decided to try the one post a day thing. It is easier to take care of for me. And it seems to be easier for the readers. Although there will be breaking news and other material as well. So it is not a one post a day rule. It is a one post a day idea.

The following is basically in order of how things progressed in the day.

There is a guy in the neighbourhood. I have chatted with him and he seems to be educated, humorous and intelligent. When I met him I realized WOW! he is CUTE. Then I realized that he was coming onto me. YES. People do come onto me. I am not intrinsically unlikeable. But there is a catch. Yes there is always a catch. Well I dont know if he is coming onto me or is he interested in me as a friend because of our similar interests. So this can end in two ways. I can either lose my virginity to him. Or I can make a move and he will tell everyone that I am gay. Hence rubbing my family name in dust. I have no idea what I am to do. Except, brood over it and DESTROY my life.

There was a LOUD and LONG cat fight today. Sorry guys. It wasnt women. It was actual cats. And they were WILD today. Anyone who has seen a cat fight in person will know what I am talking about. Cats can be VERY VERY violent. Even more than most rightist religious zealots. Hmmmm. Sorry. Correct analogy.

Tomorrow I am going on a date to meet R. He has a boyfriend. So we are meeting as friends. And everything between us is strictly ‘Platonic’. I hate him ;)

Today I had a wonderful chat with a very interesting guy. It was one of those chats on lets say semi-philosophical topics. I liked talking to him so I asked for his MSN address like I always do. He told me he wont give it to me. Then he told me is not so uncertain words that he didnt like to talk to me because I wasnt intellectual enough for him. Then he left the chat.

I wanted to go to the nearest petrol station. Drink a lot of petrol. Then suck on a cigarette. Or maybe even put it upside down in my throat.

I have decided NOT to start conversation with people on MIRC, MSN, AOL. I think I have been made to realize on too many occasions that I am intruding on people. And some of these people I know well enough to know what it means. Basically I am not fun/interesting to talk to. OK. Your call. I wont force my company on anyone. If anyone wants to chat I wont shun them. At least this way I wont be forcing my company upon others.

Also I have decided NEVER to ask for anyones MSN address no matter what. Since I cannot take rejection. I will not try to hurt myself so much. If someone else finds me interesting I would LOVE to have their contact. But I dont wanna hurt.

Then I realized that I am 23. And I am a virgin. I am a freak. I am a freakity freaking freak. I mean come on. If I told any of you that I am 23 and a virgin. You will not take me up to your place. Youd rather put down your drink and RUN!!! I mean come on I should have had sex earlier. Now it is not just sex it is a big deal. With every passing moment the pressure and the facade become more and more harder to grasp.

I was a HORRIBLE loser at the badminton match. I was BLOWN OFF because I wasnt intellectual enough. I was RUDE to a friend all day. I just realized that I dont know ONE WORD of my major in college. I have NO idea what I am doing in life. People find me BORING. So all in all. I am not good at anything that counts in life. Bad at sports. Bad at talking. Not caring. Unprofessional. Unambitous. God I am feeling very bad by the end of today.


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