Archive for December, 2003

06 Ziqaad 1424 If I have to continue from yeste…

06 Ziqaad 1424

If I have to continue from yesterday. Well I did not go to the traffic light. I was afraid people will think of me as FAT and not buy me. Yes I do have a strange lack of confidence. And today I didn’t work out. No. No. No. Wait. Stop. It is not what you think. I am shifting the workout to the mornings. I guess I will be able to do it better that way. So tomorrow morning. ‘Al-as-Subha’. Actually I think once this initial muscle pain is over it is very very invigorating.

Late afternoon I decided to listen to music. The first song was “Gham e Dil Ko In Aankhon Say Tapak Jana Bhi Aata Hay”. And I promptly(yes, VERY promptly) changed my playlist to old Pakistani movie songs. And I listened to some wonderful oldies. I loved it. Then ammi(mom) came in and told me I am too young for that and I should listen to pop and rap and the likes. And I decided to pull my leg out and beat myself over the head with it. I mean to think that I was so stupid that I wouldn’t know that I am supposed to listen to the crap churned out nowadays. I am sorry ammi. I will be a better music connoisseur from now on.

And after a long long time I have some INTERESTING searches leading to my blog.

e-mail addresses of Karachi gays — DESPERATION !

Floor tiles Pakistan pics — I don’t have any but I would like to see these babies.

Dog Show in Karachi — ??? ??? Oh and some more ???

Do Guess Papers work for B.A. in Pakistan — Yeah … Right !

who are the hottest guys Pakistan — I CAME IN 5TH !!! I AM FLATTERED

Oh and after not having too much time to use my cranial capacity for showering ire and sarcasm on my society and fellow citizens. Today after some coaxing by Quixotic I have one of those rants that I used to love.

Today’s rant is about McDonalds, KFC and Pizza Hut. Those of you who are living in the same world as me know what I am about to say. Which being … DUDE! They are ONLY fast food places. They are NOT the centre of the UNIVERSE! They are NOT icons to show off your money and your newly earned bribes. They are NOT the Kaaba. I mean come on! The way people walk into the haloed halls and marbled colonnades of these establishments and act as if they have achieved a spiritual and a social nirvana and can barely conceal their sprouting wings and glee is disgusting to say the least. Reflects VERY badly upon us and what we stand for.

05 Ziqaad 1424 Ohk so here I am blogging dilige…

05 Ziqaad 1424

Ohk so here I am blogging diligently at the end of the day. Trying desperately to impress all those who read these lines. And hopeing against hope that ‘the one’ will read my blog, fall in love with me and we will live happily ever after. But only after being ostracized from out families and after running away from Pakistan by seeking political asylum in some remote country both of which we would learn to hate. And this seething hatred well destroy our relationship and we will break up leaving half empty shells of humans wanting and not wanting each other at the same time.

WOW! DAMN I am on FIRE today. Way to go Jalal.

Nothing of consequence happened today. Except that I had some wonderful chats with a few guys yesterday. So I am feeling nice.

So that all aside. You read the irregular blog for the day. I exercised again. All those muscles that I dont even think exist are hurting again. But less right now. And … I felt more invigorated after todays exercise than yesterday. So something is right.

Oh and those of you who are either a- falling in love with me or b- going to. This daily exercise and the ensuing pain makes me seem like a Masochist. So for those of you who want to hear this. I am not a Masochist. Unless you like it. Then I am. JALAL stop being such a love-whore! NOW! Oh dear. Oh dear. I am talking to myself again. This is not good. This is not good. Lemme get a drink then I will continue.

Ohk when I went to get the drink I realized that ALL my muscles hurt. I am sure you are all VERY irrirtated by my constant whining about this exercise thing. But I am in pain. And if I dont talk to you guys who do I talk. Like real physical people (BAH HUMBUG) (Laughing loudly as if the idea presented in the previous sentence is too ridiculous). Oh and since noone (and no HANDSOME SEXY HUNK of a genie) miraculously poppup up to massage me. I will go to the nearest Traffic Light and sell myself to whoever will massage me. Bye. Ill tell you ALL about it tomorrow.

05 Ziqaad 1424 I exercised yesterday after a lo…

05 Ziqaad 1424

I exercised yesterday after a long long time. And now each and every cell in my body hurts. Each and every muscle is pulled and killing me. I am REALLY hoping for someone to massage me all over so I can live like a normal being.

Oh and I NEVER learn from my mistakes. I am going for exercise, again, in about 15 mins. Wish me luck.

04 Ziqaad 1424 Well just something I missed in …

04 Ziqaad 1424

Well just something I missed in my previous post.

After a very very long time I exercised today. A full one hour seven minute extravaganza. Which I should have known would add to my movement towards the magnificient crescendo of attaining Heinous Bitch status. Which I have to admit was helped by the exercise and the fact that every muscle in my body hurts. These damned Muscles arent there when you need them (Read when trying to pick someone up). But now I have all the muscles so that they can pain me. Yes YOU GUESED IT. I get cranky when I am in a bad mood phase.

Today I saw one of the most beautiful things ever. The moon was very low in the sky and hence was yellow. The dull custard yellow. And it was lying on its side. Like a bowl. And it was a wonderful sight. I felt so thankful to have been able to see it and to be able to appreciate that beauty. That awesome beauty. If I were in a garden and was seeing that Moon in a Pool. Ohhhhhhh. The epitome of aesthetics.

Thats it for today. Noew go to sleep all of you.

Shab ba Khair.

04 Ziqaad 1424 Oh well. The DAMN mood didnt go …

04 Ziqaad 1424

Oh well. The DAMN mood didnt go away like it is supposed to after I sleep for a whole night. Dreaming about big cats stomping me and me running all over the place to get away from them. I know I know I get all kinds of strange paranoid psychotic dreams when I am in a bad mood. Naahhhh Actually that is just the pissed off Jalal speaking. This was BY FAR the strangest dream in months.

So basically today was another day spent in passing well sculptured sarcastic remarks. One of them had VERY good results by someone who slipped in her high heels afterwards due to the shock. Then I spent some time writing email to people who dont email me and tell them that I am wonderful and that they should visit me some time. Again. I HAVE NO IDEA why I did that. Like I said Badmood Jalal is a different person. Oh and yes I acted like a Heinous Bitch by telling someone that their cooking wasnt good. She was NOT happy with me.

So the say was fine and lovely. And I was a bitch all day. Mind you a bitch … NOT a slut. I want to be a slut but I am a bitch. I HATE THIS!

So all day I wanted to be with someone I love. I was listening to old romantic songs. And thinking. And listening. And thinking. I can go on but I think you got the idea. I was having all these images in mind of cuddling someone. Newly arrived spring. Lace curtains billowing in the wind. Ahhhhh. Well. We dont all get everything. ZIPPITY DOO DAA.

This gay called H found my blog through the GayPakistani board. And we had a wonderful chat after he added me to his MSN. It was wonderful. It is hard to find different and amazing people nowadays.

Amazingly the strange yet interesting searches to my blog have been shy in the last few days. I miss those. They were strange and cute at the same time. Whoever read this is warned that this sentence is NOT mirrored in my love life.

03 Ziqaad 1424 Well I am in a bad mood today. …

03 Ziqaad 1424

Well I am in a bad mood today.


Everytime I am in a bad mood. I get very angry and very irritated at things around me. I get a million things in my head. EVERYTHING that I do not like jumps into the fray. Now that I am in a bad mood I am thinking about a fight had when I was in 2nd grade and was beaten up. And many other such unpleasant occasions in my life. Including the time when had this argument with a guy in college. So you can well imagine it is a COLLECTION of things.

I mean COME ON. You people who just read what I wrote know that it is STRANGE. And well I would agree with you. Oh and by the way now I am angry at my being strange.

Everytime I am angry I relize that people should really get to know me. Because when I am angry they would REALLY like being with me. Because when I start ranting I dont stop. I am never confrontational so I wont say hit them with something. I will only start making EXCELLENTLY sculptured statements in Urdu and English about everything that is wrong in my life … and in the world. I pass the most KILLER sarcastic remarks. I mean they are worth writing in diaries and using later on in life.

Then I snap out of the bad mood. I realize that I have said the most mean and rude things to people that I dont even mean to say. They are things that I would agree later are not only wrong but they are false as well. I mean … come on … calling a woman who is known for her beauty as butt ugly is not just wrong it is false as well. And then I told this exceptionally intelligent guy that he has in IQ of 12.3. So basically people who know me well WAIT for me to have a bad day and I do things that they AND me will laugh at for ever.

Now that I have presented to you a complete picture of the phenomenon that is ‘Jalal’s bad day’. I think ill take off. And let you all proceed with your lives in a much more shocked and fazed manner than before you read my blog today. Still thinking about me and how I am VERY VERY strange. And scarily fun to be with.

03 Ziqaad 1424 The Earthquake in Iran. The Chem…

03 Ziqaad 1424

The Earthquake in Iran. The Chemical blast in China. The Airline crash in Benin. The Mudslides in America.



This is a bad time all over the world.

02 Ziqaad 1424 There comes a time in the life o…

02 Ziqaad 1424

There comes a time in the life of every man when he realizes. Damn! I dont have anything to blog about. This in general is followed by a thought that … Hey … Lets try something new this time. But. I will not do that.

I will tell you that I chatted with someone who turned out to be too interesting. And shocking he had a blog. And then I realized from his blog that he was too good for me. And then I realized that I should NEVER tell anyone about my blog if I am going to mention them in it. Which I have done just now.

At times I feel that I can not control myself from deeds of infinite stupidity. Well all I can say for myself is … damn it … I cant even say it now.

Now that I have calmed down after some chocolates and a MUG of tea I will resume with the post.

So I had a long chat with two people actually. With one I was made suddenly aware of a SEVERE cultural difference between Pakistan and Britain. With the other I was suddenly made aware that I can find interesting people if only I try to look properly.

So with new hopes and new desires I shall finish this post. And wish you all a very good night.

Shab ba Khair.

02 Ziqaad 1424 A devastating earthquake has str…

02 Ziqaad 1424

A devastating earthquake has struck Iran. The current death toll is 4000.

inna lilla hay wa inna ilaye hay rajiyoon

I am deeply saddened and grieved at such a loss. We Pakistanis consider Iranians as our own people. There are artificial political lines in between us but the deep cutural and religious ties are deeper than those lines. I always consider Iranians as my own people. This sudden destruction and damage to a people I feel so dearly for is a shock.

I can only hope and pray that the departed receive eternal peace and the survivors are able to move on. And I hope that soon the scars left from this devastating calamity are healed. Our prayers are with our brothers.

01 Ziqaad 1424 Today is the first day of the ne…

01 Ziqaad 1424

Today is the first day of the new month of the Islamic calender. The month being Ziqaad.

Today we had a LARGE family dinner. The dinner was WONDERFUL and we had a LOT to eat. A very VERY fulfilling meal indeed. It seems that Master Jalaluddin Ahmed Khan doesnt have ANY shame or ANY regard for his FAST increasing waistline. Oh well. Another day another million calories. Or maybe two.

I think I told you all that I am learning to drive. I still havent learnt. Dont get me wrong. I am a VERY quick learner. I just havent gotten the time yet to really learn it. And on top of the the traffic here is HORRIBLE! Hmmmmmmm. This paragraph will pull you to something I wrote yesterday … when I said that I am good at rationalizing. Well I think I am getting better every day.

Today I got time to watch ‘A few good men’ for the fourth time. This time with my oldest sister. It was a WONDERFUL movie. Any of you who havent seen it are ORDERED to go watch it. Any of you who like courtroom drama or military drama have to see it. The first scene is NOT … I repeat … NOT to be missed.. There were about 2-3 occasions where the movie was so intense that my jaw dropped onto my feet and according to Murphys Laws rolled itself into the most inconvenient corner possible. NO! NO! Not figuratively. LITERALLY!

There is this guy that I have been chatting with on MIRC and MSN over the last 2-3 years. Today I met him online on MSN again after about 1 month or so. I met him through my real persona and not through my pseudonym of Jalal. He doesnt know that I am gay. To him I am just another friend. But over time I have become really attached to him. We have never met but we have interacted a lot over the net. I think I am falling for him. And also I have a sneaking suspicion that he is gay and interested. I dont know what to say or do. All I can say is that I will wait and see what happens. But I will keep you guys posted.

Now that I have gotten your attention I would like to loose it as well. There were TWO sucide attacks on President Musharraf. Although I am not from the pro-Musharraf group but an attack on the President was shocking and angering to say the least. This makes a very bad precident for Pakistan and where it is going. Such violence is always thought of as a thing of the past but the spectre haunts us at every moment. I dont know what to say except that I am deeping shocked and they I can only hope for the well being of ‘General Sahab’. And I can only hope and pray that Pakistan and Pakistanis have a brighter future sooner rather than later.