Archive for January, 2004

08 Zilhaj 2004 Well! I hope you are all happy n…

08 Zilhaj 2004

Well! I hope you are all happy now! Making me blog so much about myself. People come upto me on MIRC and start talking as if they know me. I ask them if they know me. They say yes. Then I, out of shame and embarrasment I tell them that I dont know them. To which they tell me they read my blog.

I have to admit. I am very happy to chat with people who read my blog. But I feel slightly bad about them knowing a bit about me and me not knowing bits about them. Embarrasing but very very nice. Not your usual cup of tea. I dare say.

And now I would like to add that, strangely, I seem to be in a good mood. Shockingly, no fights with ammi (mom) today. No sudden depression causing agents. Nothing. I can not for the life of me understand. Why it is so.

I was listening to a little bit of John Denver yesterday. And i’ll say that “Annie’s Song” is one helluva song to listen to. So is “Leaving on a Jet Plane”. Good Good songs.

I have had a share of strange searches. But I have to say todays search of “turk bear hasan” beats them all. By far.

A regular reminder that my Urdu blog is here. Where I have started to try to teach Urdu as well.

07 Zilhaj 2004 Why in the name of all that is p…

07 Zilhaj 2004

Why in the name of all that is pure and violet would someone say that I smell like Cabbages. I smell nothing like Cabbages. I smell more like Mercury than I smell like Cabbages. Nerve of some people. To talk about how others smell like things they do not smell like. It is an outrage.

It has been raining for the last two days in Karachi. It never rains here. Oh well. All the more better with the cold weather. Thank God the weather is cold I guess that is something that you will never hear from Americans or Europeans.

In other news. The flowers (boar) have come on the Mango trees in our house. All three of them. The hammock is in as big a shamble as the Gordian knot. The Bananas are ripening on two of the trees on the third my cousin decided to swing and we lost a nice big crop of Bananas. The Chikoos are ripening daily along with teh Sharifas and me and my mom have regular fights as to whice of the two fruits is better than the other. Which side am I am? DOH! I have some class and an education. Of course I am with the Shareefa.

When someone searches for “urdu love later”. They either have horrible spelling, or they should not be using English as a tool for making their lives easier.

A regular reminder that my Urdu blog is here. Where I have started to try to teach Urdu as well.

06 Zilhaj 1424 First of all. Oh my God. FUCK! …

06 Zilhaj 1424

First of all. Oh my God. FUCK!

Yesterday I was very happy to have gotten a chance to talk to an interesting guy. Today. Destiny shocked me. Another guy who has become a good friend by now told me that he has a hot body. He also called me and he had a hot voice. Oh no. Not common hot. It was hot. You could melt steel with it. So now I am extermely happy at my new found luck. Thank you destiny.

Today I was called an adorable bitch. I have no idea how to respond or how to take it.

Tomorrow I will blog about the Eid ul Azha or Baqr Eid, a muslim festival, and the things leading upto it. For today suffice to say that we have bought a Cow and two Goats and they are tied in our back yard.

A regular reminder that my Urdu blog is here. Where I have started to try to teach Urdu as well.

05 Zilhaj 1424 There was a hammock in our lawn….

05 Zilhaj 1424

There was a hammock in our lawn. Till today. When I decided to enjoy myself. It broke. No I am not that fat. It was weak from all the dew and the sunlight while it was wet. Oh! but I insist. That is exactly how it happened. And that is exactly what was the cause. No STOP IT !!! I AM NOT THAT FAT !!! Yes that is better. You should trust me now when I tell you this. Since it was my sister’s. I will have to get a new hammock. Damn it.

I was chatting with a very nice guy today. He came up, at some level, on all of my criterion. He was educated, he was khandaani, he was able to type English and Urdu without my getting horrified at the murder of two languages (A very very rare feat), he had a sense of humour (rarer than the last) and lastly he seemed attractive. Well at least from his picture. I know I know people select one from 508 so I can not go by that alone. But I am going to. This is the first chance of happiness in about two weeks and I will take it. Thank you very much. In case of positive developments more information shall ensue.

I am sure you must all have very interesting online chats with people. But I am also sure you would have never said to anyone else what I said to someone online today. “Serenade me … Biatch”. It has a rustic/classical medieval whorish/slutty charm/attraction to it. I am sure you would agree.

And on this very note I shall end todays post. And with your permission I bid you adieu.

P.S. – And a regular reminder that my Urdu blog is here. Where I have started to try to teach Urdu as well.

04 Zilhaj 1424 It is a known fact that, sometim…

04 Zilhaj 1424

It is a known fact that, sometimes, when you meet someone you think they are normal. But. They are not. It is times like these that call for emergency measures. No matter how much you give them the benefit of the doubt. You trust them to become alright in a little while; you trust them to have matured; you think of it as not their own fault but as society’s. Actually what you should do is … RUN!!!. Run like the wind till you find a safe place. Oh yes! This particular paragraph was prompted by our neighbour’s dog.

If anyone of you, ever, decides that you want to see Tremors IV – The Legend Begins. Don’t. Never ever even think about it. The acting was much much more horrible than mine when I had to go on stage for the first time in my life. That is altogether another story which I shall finish later. But I digress. Please do not watch that movie. Life is too precious to be wasted like this. People would enjoy watching puppies being spquashed more than they would enjoy this movie. And this is for the most docile of creatures.

Today there was an interesting search ‘ready for sex’. I don’t know how to receive this piece of information. Is this some kind of a Freudian Slip by the “Universe”? Is it a hallucination that I am having, basically, as my body’s way to try to get the message across finally? Is this what can be called the Zeitgeist of my blog? I do not know. But I am intrigued by this search result. Very, very , intrigued.

And a regular reminder that my Urdu blog is here. Where I have started to try to teach Urdu as well.

03 Zilhaj 1424 I was watching an episode of Sta…

03 Zilhaj 1424

I was watching an episode of Star Trek Enterprise today. After it finished I went to get my dinner. There it hit me. I have grown up! I have finally managed to grow up. I have stopped fantasizing about living in Tv Shows and Movies. For hours after the thing ends. I am so happy. I can finally hang out with people above the age of 12 and not be nervous.

Why is it that I got mauled in counter strike today? The other people destroyed all sense of pride that I had. Correction. Make that e-pride. But it is all gone. The map was full of my dead bodies, strewn about, while everyone else had a ball. I hate humans. I hate all people. How dare they win against me. How dare they?

Something that I want to do after watching TV today. Give advice for those who are interested in watching comedy serials. Watch “Frasier”. You will thank me.

And a regular reminder that my Urdu blog is here. Where I have slowly started to teach Urdu.

02 Zinhaj 1424 The process of "hanging out" wit…

02 Zinhaj 1424

The process of “hanging out” with friends is one of the greatest gifts given to men by God. But there is one problem. If I am out with my friends, I cannot look as brazenly at other distinguished and attractive gentlemen as I can alone. But if I am alone I feel lonely and don’t want to look at those gentlemen. Is this the beginning of yet another internal dichotomy? I want to be alone whereas I want to be with my friends as well? I think we have time to wait and see how this newest link in the chain of lunacy develops. To your horror and my pleasure I am very pleased to have a new addition.

Currently I am reading “Udaas Naslain” by Abdullah Hussain. There is one thing I would like to say. Although the novel is what I would call a good read. But. It is slow. It is not the kind of a novel where you cannot put it down. I actually want to put it down. I hope none of my college friends read this. Or else they will kick me for saying such blasphemous things.

I would like to ask you gentle dames and gentle men two questions. Why would someone search for “Karachi stand up comedy” on the net? And, why would they be led to my blog? I have no idea. I hope you can answer.

As a reminder to myself. I have to get a new keyboard. I have to shave. I have to cut my nails. Now Jalal, remember, you have to do all three tomorrow.

And a regular reminder that my Urdu blog is here. Where I have slowly started to teach Urdu.

01 Zilhaj 1424 Today we had some guests in the …

01 Zilhaj 1424

Today we had some guests in the house. Including a very well dressed, well spoken, interesting and sexually arousing gentleman. For about two hours today I was sitting in front of him and trying not to talk too much. And all through I kept noticing that his top buttons were undone. I kept noticing that his shoes were nice. I kept noticing things that any gay man would notice on an interesting man sitting in front of him. Then I decided ‘to hell with it’. I made what you might call a pass at him. Which thank god he missed. Because the next minute he started joking about homosexuals with a couple of guy friends he was with. Thank god he didnt see me make the move. I would not have wanted to lose my cherry to someone who hates gays. ;)

This is when I realized that I was getting desperate and need to search farther and wider. Which has made me thinking if I want to go to a gay party that might happen in the future. Well I am still thinking.

Ohk something that I wanted to share with all of you. Elvis. Listen to him. I have seen seeing people who dont listen to him “as such” “per se”. Well listen to him. At least listen to a few of his hits. The good ones. “Always on my mind”, “Unchained Melody”, “Maries the name/ his latest flame”, “Help me make it through the night”, “It’s now or never”, “Suspicious minds”, “The girl of my best friend”, “The wonder of you”. Please please please listen to them. You will have joy poured into your life. And you will have me to thank for. So you have to thank me now. OK.

I have to get a new keyboard. The keys on this one are badly jammed. I can’t type properly. I can’t do that with normal keyboards but I need something other then myself to blame. I am after all human and semi psychotic.

And a regular reminder that my Urdu blog is here. Where I have slowly started to teach Urdu.

30 Ziqaad 1424 I know that what I did yesterday…

30 Ziqaad 1424

I know that what I did yesterday (for those of you who were drunk stupid and don’t know what I am talking about – I didnt post a regular post) was wrong, inhuman and shocking. To cover up I will have to either tell you an embarrasing or an interesting story from my past. Since I usually dont have interesting things happen to me. I will tell you about an embarrasing thing.

In college I had a huge crush on a guy called ‘I’. I joked about it with someone. I used to do that at times, so it wasn’t so uncommon for me (talk about bubbling out of the closet). And somehow word reached ‘I’ about my internal desires. So one day (like many other days) I was thinking about how nice it would be if ‘I’ came to me and told me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. When he suddenly shows up. It seemed as if we both didn’t plan to meet each other there. And he looked at me in a strage way. I call it a sexy way. And the cynical Jalal calls it filled with anger, hatered and loathing way. So he stuttered and stammered about a rumour about me and him and if it was true. At first I hallucinated that I died then turned to liquid and got absorbed into the ground, away from his sight. But in reality I stood there and stuttering and stammering more (if that is by any chance humanly possible) and someone how told him it was a joke.

We both went out ways. I still think I should have told him that it was the truth. What hardmwould it have done. Except him kicking me till I was decapitated or impotent for the rest of my life. Oh well! We all make our choices. Apparently I always make the wrong ones.

I finally found a website kind of place where I can learn about South Asian Classical Music. They also have a kind of a teaching program. But they have warned me that the progress will be slow. It seems as if they want to scare everyone away so their server is not burdened. Interesting. But since I was never to be stopped by living things. I will use it all the same.

Interesting searches for the day would be.

pakistan sexy evening newspaper —> First of all. Is there something like this ?

karachi babies pics —> I love babies. And if you find any pictures send them to me as well :)

And a regular reminder that my Urdu blog is here. Where I have slowly started to teach Urdu.

29 Ziqaad 1424 After writing and losing both po…

29 Ziqaad 1424

After writing and losing both posts. I am angry. I will not post again tonight. I will post tomorrow.

Although I feel sorry for all of you who will not be able to read a new post and reach the crescendo of your day.

And a regular reminder that my Urdu blog is here. Where I have also started to teach Urdu. But very slowly.