First One Day Of Indo-Pak Cricket Series

21 Muharram 1425

I am sure that after todays antics you are quite certain about what I did all day long. I am also sure that reading about how someone else, who you are not trying to get into bed with, spends his day is not something you might want to do. I am also sure than reading grammatically repulsive and humour challenged paragraphs are not your idea of weekend fun. But please. For my sake. And for the sake of cricket fans all over the world. Bear with me and read this post.

At about 0800 I was suddenly awakend by something. I could not pinpoint it, but I did have strange feelings in me. As the feeling peaked I realized what it was. It was the cricket match between India and Pakistan. At this time about 33,000 super charged cricket fans were sitting in the National Stadium Karachi. Emanating generous dosages of various chemicals. If it is still not clear where I am going with this – I am less than 10 kilometers away from the Stadium and live downwind. I was awakened by the scent.

Then I realized that today was the day of the big match. So I hopped around in my room like any crazed rabbit just bitten by an ant. After that I glued myself to the TV. And decided to keep updating my blog with the updates. I could use the hits.

During the match the crowd was initially very excited and made a lot of noise. Within 5 overs the Pakistani bowling attack and the sheer magnitude of its level of sucking quietened everyone down. The Stadium was full of dejected faces thinking about what to throw on the houses of our bowlers. Then suddenly a new idea hit them at the same time. So what if India is an arch-rival; so what if we are taught all our lives to hate India more than we love Pakistan (and the same goes for Indians); so what if they are our greatest enemies (same goes for Indians). So what.

The crowd started cheering for the Indian side. Since they were the only people playing on the pitch. The Pakistani side was just made up of crazed lunatics trying to throw balls in the general direction of the wickets. After another hour the crowd realized another thing – Although the Indian batting was good. But it wasnt because they are an excellent batting team (which they are). It was because our team sucked so badly that even Holland and Canada and Papua New Guinea would have beaten the hell out of them.

So the crowd just quietened down and decided to wait for their horrible death by A- Boredom and B- The pain inflicted on them by the cold blooded slaughter of cricket (which we all so readily adore).

During the second innings the level of euphoria, excitment and nail biting increased with time. The Pakistani batting attack made us all aware that Pakistani Cricket does not suck that bad our bowling does. For the last 20 overs the required run rate hovered around 9 per over. It is estimated that around 500 million people in India and Pakistan watched the match. They got a treat. The match was excellent. It was a complete cliff hanger for a long long time and during the last two hours I am sure noone in India or Pakistan was sure which way it will go. It was an exciting match.

All in all. The match was equal in pleasure to 1.59 orgasms.

And now, if you will excuse me, I have to go to sleep.

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