Archive for April, 2004

08 Rabi ul Awwal 1425 Today I revelled in two t…

08 Rabi ul Awwal 1425

Today I revelled in two time honoured treats of Pakistan. Government offices and Traffic Jams/Routh Elongations due to religious processions.

The government office was wonderful. There were lots of people in the counters beyond the glass. There were lots of extremely dirty, rickety and loud fans behind them. There were lots of people in lines on this side of the glass. There were lots of extremely dirty, rickety and loud fans above us. There were load and explosive altercations every 5 minutes between people from the opposite sides since the office employees wanted to get paid (euphemism for bribed) to do their jobs (note: the already get paid by the government). When I eventually reached the counter the guy took one whole hour to find the papers that I needed. He came back about twenty times to tell me that he can not find them and looked at me with meaningful eyes. I acted as if I was a moron and did not pay him a rupiah(rupee).

After that I decided to go back home. When I was about to start to relax in my car I realized the traffic is being re routed to somewhere else. After trying for half an hour to go to the three other obvious alternate routes which were in turn closed I got pissed of. This is where I turned into a small gali (side street) and kept going from gali to gali. I did not end up on the other side. I ended up where I started. On a road facing the procession and with no way across. After three hours of driving and trying to find a route I got home. And then I realized that I had forgotten the papers from the office back at the office.

At this moment I took out an old pillow and punched it till I was sore and even more tired. Then I took a bath and vowed to bite someone whenever I am emotionally distressed. And here I sit now.

So, do you want me to bite you?

07 Rabi ul Awwal 1425 Is it me or are Turkish g…

07 Rabi ul Awwal 1425

Is it me or are Turkish guys just so edibly hot! Hmmmmm. I don’t think I want to present a lopsided or incompletely picture. So Ill just go ahead and try to be more thorough. Lebanese guys are also very hot. So are Iranian guys. And Syrian guys. And Uzbek guys. And Azeri guys. And Chechen guys. And Croatian guys. And Slovenian guys. And Maltan guys. And Italian guys. And Spanish guys. And French guys. And Icelandic guys. And Danish guys. And Norwegian guys. And Finnish guys. And Moldavian guys. And Moroccan guys. And Canadian guys. And American guys. And Cuban guys. And Brazilian guys. And Argentinian guys. And ….

Ok. I am stopping right there before I end up naming 200 countries.

Suffice to say that I have realized during the course of that list that I am quite gay and dont need to be confused about being Bisexual or something. On top of that I think I will have to make a list of countries whose guys I think are the hottest.

In other news I spend two hours a day working on putting electrical things in the house. Exhaust fans, lights, electrical connections, wires, and a host of other things. I was sweaty and wearing speacial work clothing. I was one hunka a eye candy for people like me. Unfortunately I could not stand on one side and stare at me. Damn! See this is what happens when you (you = any eligible male human) dont become my boyfriend. You dont get to see all these interesting things.

06 Rabi ul Awwal 1425 First of all, I completel…

06 Rabi ul Awwal 1425

First of all, I completely dissociate myself from yesterdays post. It was all Jalal’s psychotic handiwork and I did not have anything to do with. Hey, what the hell do you mean psychotic. Well, Jalal, I mean that you should read a post before you publish it. Well it was your bright idea to not edit posts wasnt it. Jalal, you know you are wrong so just shut up and lemme write today’s post ok. Jalal is never wrong. Shut up and finish your porridge.

Please excuse us. I can be so hard trying to fight with oneself (Shut up Jalal! Do not try to butt in). God!

So I was prancing about all over the house, like a young stud (the equine one). Reading my History of India books. Listening to a wonderful Raag Malkauns by Mehdi Hasan. Enjoying life. Getting ready to go for afternoon tea. Then it all started. Without warning. First I slipped on somthing that I had left on floor. An evil inconsiderate action for which I was immediately admonished by everyone in my family. Then while trying to put the book back I got a splinter stuck in my hand. And due to this act of reckless brazenness I was again admonished. Then while everyone was having tea I somehow managed to burn my tongue in the worst possible manner.

So I sit before you with a dull throbbing pain in my foot; a sharp piercing pain in my hand and a burning sensation on my tongue. I am walking with a limp, using only one hand and talking in a way that is unintelligible to everyone else. All that I can focus on right now is “May Allah let these be it for now!”. Please!

Slightly Multi Topical Post (First of many in the coming years)

05 Rabi ul Awwal

This post covers at least 4 topics. (Note: Please don’t hate me for having very scattered thoughts)

I have finally, somehow from a website, managed to find a suitable Urdu font. It is called “Nafees Nastaleeq”. If any of you want to read Urdu in a Nastaleeq font you should install it from here and go to my blog which uses this font. It is not a very good Nastaliq font but it is Nastaliq and reasonably readable and works generally. That is why I am using it. Although I am on the lookout for other more proper Urdu Nastaliq fonts as well.

In addition to the change in font I have decided to start my “Urdu Project”. The Urdu Project is there because there is serious derth of Urdu literature and poetry on the net. So I shall slowly and gradually start typing poetry from renowned Urdu poets in text format. Starting with Mirza Ghalib. If you want to see the work on this project you should visit Tuzk e Jalali (My Urdu Blog) where I just uploaded the first ghazal in the Diwan e Ghalib. Daily updates should be expected.

Ohk. Now for the more usual subject from this blog. This is big. You need to sit down for this. No. No. I mean it. This is very serious. You all have toneed to sit down. Well it is about my sexuality. I am having a certain change thing going on. No no calm down. I am still interested in men. But I have been having strange feelings for women as well. I mean not sexual. But feelings that I dont know what they mean. I mean I dont just ignore the existence of women any more. I accept their presence.

What does this mean? Does this mean I am Bisexual? Does this mean nothing? Does this mean something? Oh my God I think Ill go mad!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA (Ripping off hair)

AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA (Chewing on hands)

AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA (Breaking Furniture)

AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA (Sitting down and staring blankly at things)

Oh Oh Sorry dude. Sorry. I accidentally turned on some Heavy Metal music. That is off now. The sudden attack was due to the effects of the music not due to aything else. So now that I am calm. I am very confused.

And now for the last topic of the day …

What kind of a moronic imbecile would search for “i am a big slut” and to top that for “Coochie, Coochie, Coo”? And what kind of a moronic imbecile search engine would send them my blog as a result ? (end of last topic)

Now run along and enjoy. Shoo. Shoo. SHOOOO!

04 Rabi ul Awwal I havent read any of your blog…

04 Rabi ul Awwal

I havent read any of your blogs for so long that I seem to be cut off from all of you.

I hate it when wild, crazed and thirst weekends end. Specially ones where you push cars for long distances and your friends come over to your house bloody from all the fight that they had gotten into.

I told them that they could have easily beaten up the other guys. If they acted like real men and didnt use wooden boards (yes, wooden boards) during the fight. I mean come on. Only non male men use weapons. Weapons are for sissies who cant fight with bare hands. Men fight hand to hand and show who got the balls to fight. I told them that they could have taken 10 guys each if the other team (I know team is not the right word here but I dont have an alternative, of course I cant say army can I ?) had not cheated. I told them that they got beaten but in reality the other guys were beaten since they proved their lack on manhood while you guys showed that you can fight unarmed with armed men. I mean come on – show of balls! Manhood!

In reality we all knew I was wrong. The other group was smaller. It did have wooden boards but from what I know some of the guys there were total wusses. I mean even I could take them (you have no idea how extreme that is). And one or two of them seemed as if their families could not have afforded proper food when they were kids. Well, whatever, they got beaten by a smaller group of wusses. They didnt need friends to tell them that they suck. All they needed were pats manly punches on the back and the negation of there recently lost manhood. I mean they did win after all. A moral victory in a physical fight.

Is it me or can’t I not even convince myself about this.

03 Rabi ul Awwal Talking about guys night out. …

03 Rabi ul Awwal

Talking about guys night out. Today was the oddest guys night over ever. My friends car ran out of gas about a kilometer away from our neighbourhood. First we went to get petrol. It didnt start after we put that in. Then we asked a few people for help. Still nothing. So me and my friend just pushed the car all the way home. I am such a stud. I feel like going out, eating some raw meat and then spitting all around like really masculine men.

About the rest of guys night out (or rather in). I dont knwo what happened. They played cards all night long. Amidst regular trips to the tea shop and regular electrical load shedding sessions. And I slept. All through that. When I did get up it was late in the night. Half of the guys were playing cards. The other half was watching porn. And I would say that guess which one I did, but I think you all already know.

An interesting thing about me and porn is that after a very very long time I was watching it with other people around. But even so I managed to get myself very excited. Which is strange since I thought I had gotten immune to porn after watching it at least an hour a day for the four years that I was in university and more since.

So after telling you all that I am a stud and a slut in the same post. I think I need to leave before I confess other private details like my playing around with this guy while he was drunk. But like I said. I will leave before I say something stupid.

02 Rabi ul Awwal Another weekend. Another night…

02 Rabi ul Awwal

Another weekend. Another night out with the guys. Rather, another long long session of the card games Hearts (Black Queen) and Courtpiece (Rang / Turup). So another night in with the guys. Just as a general nugget of information the guys are all straight and feel strangely uneasy when I flirt with them openly (openly being amongst out group of friends, not in public). Some of them blush, some of them threaten to get violent, which makes me flirt with them even more, which horrifies the living daylights out of them and stops them.

The whole evening includes walks to the nearby tea shop at about 2000, 2200, 0000, 0200 (from which I have just returned), 0400, 0600 and finally at about 0800 (note:these are approximate figures and their being taken as correct figues will make my friends look like a bunch of psychos – which they are not.). After the 0800 tea ‘thing’ we all just go to our homes and fall down semi dead on our beds not being able to sleep due to the excessive tiredness.

During the course of the night at least one of us gets high and talks about the strangest things which we laugh like hell at. At least one of us tries to get drunk by drinking alcoholic drinks but doesnt get drunk and we all them him to stop since he is obviously too much of a girl to handle things like that. At least one of us gets so sleepy that he sleeps while sitting or standing even (no I am not fibbing) and we have to keep him awake to enjoy the boys night out.

We all wake up late in the evening. Every week we decide to make Saturday the granddaddy of Friday night and to make it a wild orgy of gastronomical delights and competitive games such as cards but we are too beat to do that and half of us go to sleep at times enabling us to go to work on Monday fresh and juicy (did I just say juicy ? EW!). The other half just try to have a fun time and spend 2-3 hours that to an outside would be a bore fest at par with the Islamiat lectures of my 11th grade teacher (long story for another day).

So I have to go or someone else will take my place and then ill have to wait half an hour for being a part of the game. Ill tell you if anything else comes up.