Archive for April, 2004

02 Rabi ul Awwal 1425 I got Gmail. Here it i…

02 Rabi ul Awwal 1425

I got Gmail.

Here it is … jalaluddin@gmail.com

01 Rabi ul Awwal 1425 What do you do when you s…

01 Rabi ul Awwal 1425

What do you do when you stumble in a public place. Fall enough to have to use your hands to get back up again. Everyone looks at you. Some of the giggle. All of them smile.

Well you can do what I did today. You can look back at where you slipped and go back there and rub it with your shoe. This makes everyone think you slipped over something that makes it someone elses fault and they think you are a nice guy.

Well, you think this is not good, but you will thank me when you do that in real life.

30 Safar 1425 Sorry for the irregular posting. …

30 Safar 1425

Sorry for the irregular posting. I was slightly busy.

But, yesterday I had the quintessential Karachi evening. Me and my family sitting in the lawn having tea. A strong cool breeze coming from the west. The rustling of trees and the sounds of a hoarde of Birds.

Damn I love this city.

28 Safar 1425 Today I was enjoying a wonder br…

28 Safar 1425

Today I was enjoying a wonder breakfast. Fried Eggs, Omelettes, Boiled Eggs, Paratha, Buns, Bread, Butter, Cheese, Creme, Sausages, Achaar, Milk, Lassi, Coffee and Tea. Yes, my mother made all of that. And then I act like an ingrate and say bad things about her.

While I was enjoying the breakfast my mother finished her Fajr prayers and sat down besides me. Her face fresh from the wuzoo and the morning time. Then she started telling me that she had a dream. It was about a park where I fell into the water way and was swept away. And then she and my father kept saying that the current is too strong and that they can not save me. And thy kept running after me but couldnt do anything.

Then she started crying. She kept saying I could not save you I could not save you. And she kept crying for 10 minutes. Then my sisters inteceded and hushed her up. Those 10 minutes where as if the heavens were cleft asunder and ligntning bolts fell on my head. It was one of the most painful experiences in my life. It is rightly said that if nothing else than a woman’s tears can melt the heart of a man.

I am feeling so strange about that. I feel as if I had hurt her myself.

She has been telling the dream to everyone that she met today and I have been telling everyone that I sure she pushed me in the dream and is now just trying to get the pity.

27 Safar 1425 Yesterday I got a comment by a gu…

27 Safar 1425

Yesterday I got a comment by a guy who was asking me to try to be stright.

Well the thing is I do appreciate female beauty. Laetitia Casta, Jodi Foster, Catherine Xeta Jones and of course Reese Witherspoon . I do enjoy watching these women. I so enjoy watching women in real life as well. At times there is even an element of lust involved. But not usually. I just do not have feelings for women like I have for men. I would always choose a man over a woman. Unless he is horribly grotesque and the woman is actually a man disguised as a woman. But that defeats the whole purpose doesnt it.

There were times when my attraction towards women increased. I have to admit I have had periods when I was quite bisexual even. But they were periods after which I used to come back into the loving bosom of homosexuality. I did have one or two crushes on girls in the past. But trust me that doesnt mean anything since during that time in invariably has a crush on about 10 other men as well. So in effect it was just something that I could talk to my friends about the feel normal. Something that I have realized at 23 that I am not.

And here is a very badly composed Rubai in English with a complete murder or the rules of metre (وزن، بہر).

At the end of the day

I do think I am gay

I do want a man

To take me away

p.s – I prostrate myself in you present to forgive my cold hearted murder of the poetic genre of Rubai

26 Safar 1425 Yesterday I posted about talking …

26 Safar 1425

Yesterday I posted about talking to someone who is extrememly sleep. Today I will post about talking to someone preparing for the GRE.

You get used to talking to certain people on a daily basis. You get so used to talking to them that you can immediately notice that something is not right from a minute change in their choice of words or sentence structure. Suddenly you notice that they have started to use heavy words started with ‘A’. And completely inappropriately.

Examples would include “Jalal why are you being so acerbic today”, “Jalal your acrimonious remarks made me laugh” and so on and so forth. This sudden change took me aback. I immediately went to meet him and ask him if he was ok. If everthing was ok with him family. He was confused and he asked me why I am asking him that. When I said the list of A words – I was saying this and I saw the GRE book and I suddenly said ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. He said that he uses those words all the time. But I knew the truth and I had evidence.

I immediately asked him when he started the word list. He said he did not know what I was talking about. We looked at each other. We smiled. I walked out triumphant. Just as I was in the door he said “I bet you dont know the meanings of those words”. Since I have an obsession to get the last word I retorted with “I know then well enough to know that your usage was wrong”.

I got the vocabulary, I got the last word, I got the stud attitude.

A reminder that I have an Urdu Blog

25 Safar 1425 I am never in my whole life ever …

25 Safar 1425

I am never in my whole life ever going to tell anyone I love him. Until and unless he says it first and keeps saying it repeatedly until I am sure he loves me.

No use destroying your friendships over this.