Archive for June, 2004

11 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425 No matter how much I tr…

11 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425

No matter how much I try to become normal. No matter how much I try to be an average guy I can not turn into one. I am just special. Special and better than the herd. I can not help it. I am sorry for being better than the rest. I am so sorry.

And now to break for the retarded attack of jalalophilia I will focus on the issue at hand.

The issue at hand being that tomorrow I will be able (finally, after a month) to read your comments. And after that. I will make some of my own on your blogs.

So until then I beg your leave. And as always, if you learn of a suitable guy for me in the Greater Karachi area. HOOK US THE HELL UP!

10 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425 Another great developme…

10 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425

Another great development in my life took place today. I finally decided that I will never feel bad about being psychotic.

I mean of course there is a certain guilt involved. HAHAHA. Certain guilt Jalal? Jalal admit it that you are very very guilty about it. Oh shut up! What do you know about it. It is my thinking. If I said certain I meant certain. Oh yeah! Like you are the only one with access to that brain of yours.

Just because you are my multiple personality does not mean you know what I think. OK.

YEAH ! RIGHT ! AHAHAHHAH !!!! Jalal … dude … you so do not know what I know about you and what I dont know about you.

Well whatever the hell. SHUT UP! LEME WRITE IN MY BLOG !!!


So … where was I. Yes. I am starting to be ok with being psychotic. Ok with talking to myself in the mirror. Ok with realizing that people think of me as very excited.

Who the hell am I kidding. I am not ok with it. Of course I am not ok with it.

I LOVE the fact that I am psychotic.

Special Note to any Psychiatrist reading my blog regularly : If you start feeling that you are going insane. Stop reading immediately. Stop thinking about this. Stop all contact with this blog for the sake of your own sanity. Ok.

08 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425 How do normal people re…

08 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425

How do normal people respond to situations where you have just been called a ‘THIEF!!!’ and the police have been called? How would a normal guy behave at such a juncture? How would normal people diffuse the situation while at the same time trying to appear human? How would normal people talk their way out of the police mess?

Oh. OH! I see. See that is where the problem is. I am trying to approach the situation from the wrong angle. I should not be thinking about what a normal person would do. Since I would definitely not know how to do it properly and end up messing it up. I should be thinking about what I would do.

So here goes the story of what I did.

I should have first talked to the shopkeeper to diffuse the situation. Instead I just stood there, my jaw dropping all the way to the floor, trembling like a autumn leaf in a brisk wind.

I should have told him that he can frisk me (Oh la la!) and since I did not have more than 23 rupees he would have let me go. Instead I chose to tremble some more and loose control over my capability of normal fluent/fluid speech.

I should have acted non chalant and waited for the police and explained things to them. Instead I started to stammer so much that the shopkeeper thought I was threatening him and he got completely excited.

I should have told the policeman to frisk me (Oh la la la la la la la la!) and since I did not have more than 23 rupees on he would have let me go. I did precisely that. It was interesting. Then I did manage to get the capability to make my brain work again and I talked to the shop keeper.

So I would say that all is well that ends well.

Except when I burn the shop of that lying, thieving, two timing, no good, unsanitary snake in the grass.

07 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425 Another political drama…

07 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425

Another political drama in our beloved land of Pakistan. Another change of leaders that we have grown so used to that we have become completely desensitized. But there is one thing. A Prime Minister who is a technocrat will lead Pakistan in a proper direction. Much better than a rich industrialist or a rich feudal. Lets only hope for the best.

The most interesting thing in the speech given by Jamali Sahab was the complete lack of disciplne in the room. It seemed as if people were competing with each other for an imaginary prize for being the most rowdy and ill mannered human being (sic?) in that room.

But all the same. All is well that ends well. That is all that I can say.

Except when I realize that I have bought something at twice its acceptable price. I hate that damned shopkeeper. Sweet talking satanic being. Damned over priced shoes.

05 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425 I went to this Arabian …

05 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425

I went to this Arabian Restaurant in Karachi. It is called ‘Damascus’. Nice atmosphere with people sitting outside. There were lots of Arabs there.

Damn! Arabs are hot.

04 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425 There is a book store h…

04 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425

There is a book store here that I love to go to. I go there and stay there for hours and look at all the books and think what I will buy when I get the money.

Today something wonderful happened. They had some sort of a raffle competition and I won Rs 1,200. Which is a lot. So I was allowed to buy books worth that much.

You would think it would be a wonderful thing. But it was not. It was one of the most horrible things that had ever happened to me. I could not choose between books. Nothing at all.

It took me three hours to select which books to take. During this time I had a nervous breakdown, a psychological collapse, a complete loss of bowel control and severe headache.

And then people say this was supposed to be a good thing. Bah humbug.

03 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425 I love pens. They are s…

03 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425

I love pens. They are so wonderful. Of course until they leak in a very expensive, white, shirt that you had just bought. After thinking for one hour if you can afford it.

I love fate. Every ink that I ever use get washed away by water. Juce because I do not need that at that time. But the time it leaks in my shirt. I can not get it off.

To top it all off. The most wonderful thing is that I have spent a huge amount on trying to clean the shirt. So now the shirt costs a lot more than it did. And it is still ruined.

02 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425 I have to admit. As wit…

02 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425

I have to admit. As with all men. I am crazy about hardware stores.

Today, against all my better judgement (running slightly late for some horribly boring work related task), I decided to go into one. The first shiny thing on my right hand caught my attention. After that it was a slippery slope. I could not stop myself. By the time I got out I was late, poor, tired, hungry and very very happy.

This is about the time my boss decided to call me and ask me about progress on work related things. I immediately denied any such things (things being work related tasks). He immediately reminded me beyond any doubt. Then I told him the work will be in progress immediately. He decided, presumably against his better judgement, to leave me alone.

My boss is a good guy. I don’t want to let him down. But. The day I bring home a huge set of mechanical and electrical tools is not the day on which I will be moved by my respect for him. It is a day when I will be moved by my need to do things with the things that I have just bought. (Not those things you sick perv freak)

01 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425 I hate my job. I hate m…

01 Jamadi ul Awwal 1425

I hate my job. I hate my boss. I hate my colleagues. I hate my office. I hate my work hours. I hate the damned place where the stupid tea pot is kept. I hate the fact that the damned bathrooms are not clean. I hate the fact that my boss says XYZ in the exact same frikking way every day to everyone in the office.

Now, that is not me. I love my work and my work place and the people I work with. It is the damned whining from other humans that I can not stand.

I mean, as far as I am concerned. I am the only legitimate drama queen (king?). I am the only person who is allowed to whine. Every one else who does this is simply wrong and not in line.

Hmmmmmmmmmm. It seems I started this post with a postivite direction but ended up this way. Hmmmmmmmm. Brings a completely new meaning to “Me, myself and I”.

Shut up Jalal. No you shut up. No you shut up. No you shut up more. No you shut up 10 times more than me . .. … …. (ad infinitum / ad nauseum)

30 Rabi us Sani 1425 Today was a wonderful day….

30 Rabi us Sani 1425

Today was a wonderful day.

I went with family to two peoples houses. One a colleague of my father’s and another an old friend of his.

Two gatherings of excellence. I have had the most wonderful conversations in two very very very different groups of minds.

The first had too many fellow historians and praises of Napoleon abounded. The second had too many ‘old boys’ and I listened to all the stories from my father’s childhood.

Excellent evening. Excellent.

As I go to bed … I am content.