Archive for February, 2005

Monday — 18 Muharram 1426 — 09 Phalguna 1926 — …

Monday — 18 Muharram 1426 — 09 Phalguna 1926 — 28 February 2005

A wonderful wonderful day.

Someone called me and we talked for four hours on the phone.

Wow!

Sunday — 17 Muharram 1426 — 08 Phalguna 1926 — …

Sunday — 17 Muharram 1426 — 08 Phalguna 1926 — 27 February 2005

A long long weekend.

I have realized that I do not like weekends. They give me too much time to think. They give me too much time to think about things that I spend my life running away from.

I love talking. I love partying. I love being in large groups. I love doing things which are fast and violent paced. Things where I have to think fast and give a result. Things where I am not allowed to dwell upon things too long to move off into tracks of thought that I do not like.

Running away. Running away. Running away.

نہ محبت ہے۔ نہ کسی گزری محبت کی یادیں ہیں۔ نہ کسی محبت کی امیدیں۔ نہ کسی کھوئی محبت کی باتیں۔ نہ کسی ادھوری محبت کی امیدیں۔ نہ کوئی آنے والی محبت کی سوچ۔ یعنی کوئی بھی غم جاناں ہی نہیں۔

I talk a lot. Whenever I am with anyone I talk a lot. I love talking. Talking talking talking. I talk and talk and talk. I have been told by everyone I am with that I talk too much. Every friend of mine, every acquaintance tells me that I talk too much. They tell me to shut up. They tell me to stop yapping. On a constant basis.

The worst is that I realize that I am a bit hard and irritating to be with. Actually that is not the worst. The worst is that I cannot control this.

Damnit!

See, I did it again in this post. Maybe if I tried to have some cool exotic style?

What say you?

Friday — 15 Muharram 1426 — 06 Phalguna 1926 — …

Friday — 15 Muharram 1426 — 06 Phalguna 1926 — 25 February 2005

Today I will present you guys with a list of things I did today but I hope not to do in the next year or so, and even then only so I can blog about it.

1 – Do not go late on the day when Psychotic-Dont-Get-Late-Boss-Above-Boss-Guy comes to work in our department.
2 – Do not smoke two cigarettes back to back and then get so light headed that I fall down in the middle of the office and my colleagues have to pick me up.
3 – Do not take Coffee black no sugar if you are going to feel so disgusted that you throw up in the corner of the hall.
4 – Do not get so frazzled that you try to run to get someone to clean it up, slip on the stuff that you just ejected and nearly missed it.
5 – Do not forget your tie and cufflinks when Psychotic-Dont-Get-Late-Boss-Above-Boss-Guy comes to work in our department.

Wednesday — 13 Muharram 1426 — 04 Phalguna 1926 …

Wednesday — 13 Muharram 1426 — 04 Phalguna 1926 — 23 February 2005

Today I am going to blog about something that will do a couple of things. It will diminish the level of respect that you guys have for me. It will may you think that I am even more stranger than I am. It will make you feel that there are somethings that we have in common but I am so much more courageous and perfect that I can actually tell them.

It is about taking your pants off while you have your shoes on. I know, you will ask, why would someone do that? But, without answering that, since I dont have any answers I would say that I have had to do that a couple of times. Actually my reason was that I didnt wanna take my shoes off.

It all started because I had to change pants and not my shoes. First I though about how good it is that my pants can be removed from over the shoes. So I just pull them down and pull them over. That is where it started. The pants were getting stuck on the shoes a bit. So I pulled on them. When that didnt work I tried at least ten awkward positions in which to pull the pants as hard as possible. One of them involved me using both my hands to pull the pants, Oh, and yes, I forget, I was also grabbing it with my teeth and pulling it at the same time.

I know, I know, this seems embarrasing but if you ever try this. I assure you, you will go through the same thing.

Eventually I did manage to take my pants off in that way. Just that it ripped into two parts and it was no use any more.

I do not think that I will ever take my pants off with my shoes on.

Tuesday — 12 Muharram 1426 — 03 Phalguna 1926 –…

Tuesday — 12 Muharram 1426 — 03 Phalguna 1926 — 22 February 2005

I have not been having enough sleep for the last two days. I have been sleeping less than I would under any circumstance.

So, I am sleepy and hence slow at work. I am making the strangest of jokes at work that makes everyone laugh like hell. I am sleeping in the office and snorting and snoring. So now, I am so sleepy that I am acting strangely and everyone loves me for being funny and orginal.

What is wrong with people on this planet. Life was so easy before all of us came to this planet. Now, first we all have to live in the same body and have a serious multiple personality disorder and then we have to be funny. And then everyone likes it.

What is wrong with you humans?

Monday — 11 Muharram 1426 — 02 Phalguna 1926 — …

Monday — 11 Muharram 1426 — 02 Phalguna 1926 — 21 February 2005

آج میرے سامنے سامنے ایک آدمی نے دس منٹ کے اندر اندر اپنے پیسے اور انا کی خاطر اپنی عزت اور ایماد بیچ ڈالا۔مجھ میں کسی بھی قسم کی تاقب نہیں۔

Sunday — 10 Muharram 1426 — 01 Phalguna 1926 — …

Sunday — 10 Muharram 1426 — 01 Phalguna 1926 — 20 February 2005Today, the 10th of Muharram, is a day of remembrance. It is a day of remembrance of the sacrifice given by Hazrat Imam Hussain.

Let us learn from it that when the time comes we should all be prepared to sacrifice each and everything for the just and right cause.

There is no greater education than learning that there are things greater than oneself.

Saturday — 09 Muharram 1426 — 30 Magha 1926 — 1…

Saturday — 09 Muharram 1426 — 30 Magha 1926 — 19 February 2005

Upon certain requests I will today tell all of you one of my most ardently held bigoted hatreds.

I will say at the very start that the opinions presented in this post are not to be made any kind of a factor in any of your judgements of me as a person. I am only bold enough to state on of my very few bigotries. I am sure you have your own.

It is against a certain neighbourhood in our great city of Karachi. The name of the neighbourhood is Defence.

This all started when I was very young. I slowly and gradually started with a strange hatred for money in all its forms. I do not know why but I hate the whole concept of money and how it makes people into feelingless animals who should be living in jungles and not concrete jungles made to satisfy human thirst for spending and living lives detached from other humans woes and miseries.

All said, to me Defence is the embodiment of three things.

One. It is the place to live for all the Noveau Riche of the city. Anyone, who has suddenly (usually by either illegal or unethical means) due to some reason, come into a lot of money immediately shifts to Defence. They buy a big overly decorated, read gaudy, house in Defence built to make sure that everyone who sees it will immediately realize one thing, the house belongs to rich people, it is lived in by rich people, and all you other poorer beings are loosers. There people make the sole aim of their lives to show off their wealth in ways that I find simply disgusting.

Two. People from Defence are the more snobbish, ill mannered, rude people that I have ever come across in my life. You might expect un educated, illiterate people to not behave properly but you do not expect it from people who could afford to go get expensive liberal educations. And the height of this snobbishness are the statments (keeping in view that there is a certain bride that comes between the city and the main route to Defence) “I dont go to the other side of the bridge”, “I dont meet people from the other side of the bridge”, and something not said but usually implied “Ew, dont touch me, you are from the other side of the bridge”. Basically this attitude of snobbishness is unbelievably disgusting and to date I have not found ONE person from Defence who does not have this attitude.

Third. People from Defence are completely cut off from and have no idea of our city. They lead a life in their own part of the city. I am not against this at all. It is ok. Just that when I live in Karachi I want to experience the city, not just the most expensive shops and parties.

I am sure that you are all shocked at how could I have possibly said all this. It is solely because I realize that this is wrong and that I am bigoted. Just that I can say this here.

I will say one thing though. That point number one and three are not so much the reason that I hate Defence. Maybe that is because it can not under any circumstance be generalized to all Defence dwellers. Actually I am sure that a majority of people in Defence do not fall under these categories at all. The reason for all my bigotry is point number two. I have yet to come across even one person from Defence who does not think that him or her being from Defence makes them better than me. I cannot say this about any other group of people in any situation because noone else gives me that idea or even the vaguest feeling.

I am sure that any one of you reading this and from Defence will hate me. But, from now on, every time you have a feeling of someone being lower than you think about the root cause. I am sure you will eventually realize that I am not an evil man jealous of you and that there may at some rate be something that has made me think this way.

I must remind you all again that you are not allowed to hate me based on the fast that I said something. I am sure you have your bigotries as well.

And as to my Defence friends. I love you all despite your obvious snobbishness. And please dont hate me, I am not talking about you in particular, just the feeling that I get from that place.

Friday — 08 Muharram 1426 — 29 Magha 1926 — 18 …

Friday — 08 Muharram 1426 — 29 Magha 1926 — 18 February 2005

I had a very eventful and exciting day today.

Actually, I had another fight with my mother. And yes, all of you who read it haveto get involved. I really hate it when people do not want to get involved in such things, specially if they dont take my side. So, at the end of my story you have to take sides. You are either with me or against me. Mankind is divided on the basis of those you support me and those who support my mother.

First, let me tell you the basis of the argument. We are thinking about shifting to some neighbourhood closer to the city centre. Now, obviously, like all normal situations, we have a certain range that we can buy our house in. And, also obviously, like all normal situations, despite this being about our family, I know the range and so does my mother. Now, she is bent upon buying a house in a neighbourhood called Defence. For a million reasons I am completely against living in that area. And, thankfully for me, prices in that area are double of what we can afford.

Now, let me tell you why I am angry. For the last one and a half year we have not been able to spend any money on our current house because everytime I tell my parents that we are living in a hole in a cave my mother tells me that since we are moving we should not spend too much on this house. So basically our house has ended up looking like one of the more dilipidated buildings belonging on lists of international ancient heritage locations. But, we cannot spend anything here, because, oh, we are moving!

We have seen a large number of houses in Defence, large enough to know that we cannot afford a house in that area even if we sold our souls to the devil at higher rates of interest than the ones currently prevalent in the market. The only thing would be for me to cut my stomach open and sell my organs for rates much higher than otherwise. Oh, something like 500 times more.

Today I had a fight with her, I was begging her to think about places that we can afford, and she said, you are right, we should look, but there is no hurry, we will look at those places after I see these 14 Gagillion 98 Bazillion other houses in Defence first.

I snapped.

I went to our store. I picked up our huge collection of cardboard boxes that my father had told me to get rid off one year ago. And I ripped them all open. With my bare hands. One by one. Into tiny shreds. Until there were none large enough to be held in my hands. Then I sat down on the pile and laughed a loud, hollow, high pitched laugh for a long, long time. Then I started talking to myself and my self protection mechanism kicked in and I started joking with myself. I lead such a wonderful life full of psychological disorders who are there for me whenever I need them.

After a while I realized my anger was not over yet. I collected all of the fuzzy, white, cute packing material and I started to stamp it with my feet. There was malice, there was anger, there was rage and there was madness. After stomping them until they were too small to be stomped into paper thin crusts I sat on the pile and laughed a loud, hollow, high pitched laugh for a long, long time. Then I started talking to myself and my self protection mechanism kicked in and I started joking with myself. I lead such a wonderful life full of psychological disorders who are there for me whenever I need them.

After a while I realized my anger was not over yet. So I got a big, strong, sturdy, wooden stick and went to the boxing bag that noone in our family has ever used since we put it in place one year ago. Then I started to whack it. Hard, harder, hardest. There was a growing rush in my veins as the sound of my anger grew in my ears. It was a dull thump thump, thump thump at first but it rose it the beat of drums. Drum drum, Drum drum. Then when the feverish pitch of my madness had reached its heights and I was afraid my brain would just pop out of my nose the sitck broke and the bag burst. I fell down on the wood shavings, sand and cotton on the floor. This time I did not laugh. I just kept thinking about what I had just done.

Then everyone came into the room and took me to my bed and gave me a lot of sedatives. Since they all know that I never get angry and when I do I never remain angry. Of course they also know that my mother is the only person on the planet who can make me angry. So, what the hey. At least I cleaned up the cardboard boxes and the packing material, and I worked up a sweat. So all is good. My family is turning me into a lunatic. I behaved in a way that I can never ever explain. But, all is good. Oh, and such wonderous news, she is going to look at houses tomorrow. I am so happy.

So, how was your day today? Anything interesting?

Thursday — 07 Muharram 1426 — 28 Magha 1926 — 1…

Thursday — 07 Muharram 1426 — 28 Magha 1926 — 17 February 2005

Ah, what wonders of weather. A strong piercing sunshine. A cool breeze. A million flowers bloom. Aroma bedewed air. Birds chirping. Wonderous traffic behaviour.

I had an excellent date today.

The future is bright!