Archive for May, 2005

Tuesday — 22 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 10 Jyaistha 192…

Tuesday — 22 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 10 Jyaistha 1927 — 31 May 2005

س – یار، نارتھ ناظم آباد جائو گے؟
ج – نہیں صاحب، وہاں نہیں جائیں گے۔
س – بھائی صاحب، نارتھ ناظم آباد جائیں گے؟
ج – نہیں یار، اس طرف نہیں جائوں گا۔
س – نارتھ ناظم آباد جائو گے؟
ج – نہیں بابو، وہیں حالات خراب ہیں۔

Tuesday — 22 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 10 Jyaistha 192…

Tuesday — 22 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 10 Jyaistha 1927 — 31 May 2005

So much news. So many rumours. So many sights. So many thoughts.

Yet again my city burns as I sit here writing. Yet again my city burns as I sit here thinking about what is going on. Yet again, I sit here, with my keyboard and a raging storm of thoughts and no other way to express them.

Yet again I crossed the bridge between Lasbela and Golimar. Yet again I crossed the Naizmabad flyover. Yet again I crossed the flyover between Nazimabad and North Nazimabad. All one hour before sunset. The sun grazing the tops of the houses. A sun clouded in a strange way. The sun not shadowed by the clouds but dead and inert without any light.

Yet again I crossed the shops in New Challi, Electronics Market, Bunder Road, Gurumandar, Golimar and North Nazimabad. But this time I did not feel irrtated by the excessive noise and congestion there. I was saddened by the lack of it. Shop after shop closed. Closed. Closed. Closed. Like the ruins of a once prosperous city.

It just hurts to see something one holds so dear. So close. So beloved. To be so badly poised. It hurts it hurts it hurts. Like the tear on a childs face hurts the mother. It hurts it hurts it hurts.

Monday — 21 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 09 Jyaistha 1927…

Monday — 21 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 09 Jyaistha 1927 — 30 May 2005

Today was another one of those days when news filters into our office about the outside world. Rumours of dark actions. Whispers of an evil malice. News of malevolent happenings.

Another Mosque was attacked by suicide bombers. Today, in the land of the pure, in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan innocent blood was shed on the expensive marbles of our civil mosques. No longer there for religious purposes but to act as the breeding grounds for illiterate gun toting beard ridden men.

When will all this end? When will we wake up one day and say to ourselves that thank God we have gone past the dark ages? When will the time come when I will have forgotten all the times when after hearing news of violence in my very beloved city I will shake my head and ask myself “what is going on”? When?

In my dear city bears and burqas abound. Women wearing scarves and men growing beards. Meaning and threatening. Islam! Islam! Islam! Cram it down your throat! Islam! Islam! Islam!

Thursday — 17 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 05 Jyaistha 19…

Thursday — 17 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 05 Jyaistha 1927 — 26 May 2005

I have had a nagging suspicion that a certain guy in my office is gay, the evil manipulative sexaholic type. I have also had a nagging suspicion that another guy in my office is gay, the docile soft spoken self denying type who do not want to accept that they are gay.

The first guy is a new entrant to our office arena. He immediately started giving time to the second guy. Today the second guy seemed unusually happy and had a completely new hairdo.

I think they are doing it!

I just love office gossip.

Wednesday — 16 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 04 Jyaistha 1…

Wednesday — 16 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 04 Jyaistha 1927 — 25 May 2005

I have had a nagging suspicion that a certain guy in my office is gay, the evil manipulative sexaholic type. I have also had a nagging suspicion that another guy in my office is gay, the docile soft spoken self denying type who do not want to accept that they are gay.

The first guy is a new entrant to our office arena. He immediately started giving time to the second guy. Today the second guy seemed unusually happy and had a completely new hairdo.

I think they are doing it!

I just love office gossip.

Wednesday — 16 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 04 Jyaistha 1…

Wednesday — 16 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 04 Jyaistha 1927 — 25 May 2005

Contrary to certain scandalous rumours and evil lies being propagated into the world community through my blog I am not a fat disgustingly wrinkly old woman with a bloated body having an unnatural desire to drink Pakola and other disgustingly coloured liquids.

I deny the accusation completely and I also deny the mere idea that I might be a woman desperate for love and affection trying to woo men into my web through the means of this blog.

I declare that all such ideas are completely unbelievable and full of rubbish. I also declare that, if not worse, this is all a massive Zionist conspiracy against me and my pure virtuous soul!

Monday — 14 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 02 Jyaistha 1927…

Monday — 14 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 02 Jyaistha 1927 — 23 May 2005

I seem to have developed a certain ritual. Sometimes I come back from work at the height of rush hour. I drive. I take about a quarter to an hour to get home. All through extremely jam packed roads. I do not use my cars a/c. I prefer open windows instead.

My method of not going berserk while driving in such horrid traffic is to sing loudly to myself when I am going or coming from work. Not just loud, very loud.

Today, after about half an hour into my return journey I suddenly realized that I was singing very very loudly, and I was singing something that most people would consider very very odd. At that moment I snapped and scolded myself. Again very loudly.

Jalal! Stop it. You are singing so fucking loudly. Stop it. Stop acting like a hormonal imbecile. Stop acting like this. Jalal! You need to have some sex. You need to have some animal coitus.

Obviously after using the term animal coitus I was laughing so loudly that everyone near my car was looking at me. So basically, why am I so insane?

And on a less intense note. Will any one of you please sleep with me?

Sunday — 13 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 01 Jyaistha 1927…

Sunday — 13 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 01 Jyaistha 1927 — 22 May 2005

The week was spent in doing nine to tens. Then suddenly I was hit by a Sunday. After six days I got to wake up at noon. Then my mother, who turns out to be the good guy as opposed to my super bitch attitude bad guy thing, made me half a dozen eggs and a pitcher of ilaichi (a spice) tea.

After eating the wonderful breakfast I spent the whole day reading the newspapers and magazines that had piled up during the week. After spending a day of eating and reading I have to say that I am very very content.

The only thing missing from my day would have been the physical, psychological and financial capability of reading about 700 books that I have wanted to read for quite some time now.

And, yes, I think I broke some sort of a world record today. I drank three 1.5 litre bottles of Pakola today. That makes 4.5 Litres of Pakola within 16 hours. If any of you think you can do that you are obviously lying so I wont listen to you anyways!

Now it is time for me to go and watch my extremely old neighbours hobble around and have the audacity to call that jogging.

Saturday — 12 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 31 Vaisakh 192…

Saturday — 12 Rabi us Sani 1426 — 31 Vaisakh 1927 — 21 May 2005

Three apologies. Two pieces of news. Two good news. Two bad news.

Apology One : I am sorry that I you have been deprived of my excellent writing skills lately.

Apology Two : I am sorry that I have not been able to keep up with your lives and blogs.

Apology Three : I am sorry that this post is so severly psychotic that I am the only one who will be able to enjoy it.

News One : I have just been transferred into a new department and I absolutely adore my boss and all the people who are senior in my new department. I love working. I love working. I love it.

News Two : I have been observing office hours of nine to ten. Include driving and that makes eight to eleven daily and with two hour relaxations on Saturdays.

Good News One : I did not miss my periods, so I am definitely not pregnant.

Good News Two : I have stopped eating foods that make my look like a fat disgusting pig.

Bad News One : I was at the office and I accidentally fell asleep on my chair, then I woke up with a very loud snort, everyone looked at me, it was embarrasing.

Bad News Two : After reading good news one I realized that I have indeed gone beyond and into the bad, bad place.

Monday — 29 Rabi ul Awwal 1426 — 19 Vaisakh 1927…

Monday — 29 Rabi ul Awwal 1426 — 19 Vaisakh 1927 — 09 May 2005

Interesting conversation number 22,867 of the week.

Jalal : Hi. (facial expression : Jovial, Sunny)
Girl who appears to be seriously mensturating : What? (facial expression : I want to bite your head off)
Jalal : Nothing as such. (facial expression : Apologetic)
GWATBSM : Oh ok. (facial expression : Arrogant)
Jalal (desperately seeking attention) : So whats up? (facial expression : Please talk to me since noone else is doing that)
GWATBSM : Nothing much. (facial expression : I just hate you men)
Jalal : I heard your brother got married. Congratulations. (facial expression : Friendly)
GWATBSM : How did you know that? (facial expression : Stop stalking me you pervert)
Jalal : I think I should leave. (facial expression : Dyke!)
GWATBSM : Yes. (facial expression : I hate men)
Jalal : Bye (facial expression : Why doesnt anyone love me?)

I hate women!