Yet another weekend. Yet another little piece of absolutely purified madness in my life.
Since I am not in the condition to be grammatically proper right now so I will make another list. And, if any one of bitches feels that I have been making too many “lists” lately, then you can just eat my shorts. Or as Ryan Reynolds would put it, if he were here, with me, shirtless, (as you can see I seem to have digressed a lot from the originally planned theme) …
All, right, all right. I wont make a list. Calm down. Turn the pitch of your voice lower. . . . Thank You.
Well, to start off with, like all self respecting twenty five year olds from non health conscious third world countries with a lack of mass discipline and self control I had 4 fried eggs for breakfast on Saturday as well as on Sunday. I just love long sentences. And, fried eggs. And, strange contortions of logic and sense. And, oiled up muscled men who come in wrestling programs the world over. As you can see, it is very hard for me to control my thoughts. I love that too.
Then, I answered three phone calls from friends in places as far away as Hyderabad, Bahawalpur and Islamabad asking me the proper English wording for a wedding invitation card. So basically, firstly, what the hell is wrong with people, secondly, why the hell does everyone want to get married so soon in life, thirdly, why the hell didn’t I know the answer to their questions.
Oh and yes, I realized that I am indeed, despite what the latest research is saying, attracted by male pheronomes. I realized this when a guy, sweat soaked T-shirt, Sweat soaked jogging suit walked by me and the only thing that I could think was to make sure I stared at him with lusty eyes as he walked away as opposed to immersing myself in that little nearly empty mini bottle of cologne that I have in the office.
I learnt one thing during this post. Extremely long sentences stop making sense.