Saturday – 28 Ziqaad 1426 – 10 Pausa 1927 – 31 December 2005

There are movies with good prints, excellent sound quality and crisp pictures and colours. Then there are pirated versions of these DVD movies available for lesser amounts so normal human beings, who are not able to differentiate between colours that the human eye can not biologically differentiate between, are spared the bull crap used by over paid salesmen to sell real DVDs at prices where all decent humans should scream bloody murder. Then there are movies that are of a lower quality. Cinema prints. These are movies taken from a choice location in the cinema to give a good clear picture; you can see the cameraman focusing the camera during the initial brain dead advertisements of the movie.

Then there are the bad cinema prints. The camera is placed in the most inaccessible location of the cinema, kudos to the brain power of the cameraman. Then the idiot forgets to focus the camera. Grow a brain moron. Then all through the movie people keep crossing the cameraman to go to the bathroom because they did not have the common sense to not stuff themselves full all day long and have not had enough self control to discipline their bowel movements. Then of course there are the people who keep coughing all through the movie, have the decency to pour some venom down your throat bitch. To top everything off, the cameraman turns out to be a complete idiot and keeps covering the camera with his hands so you get to see only half the screen of the movie. Wow, congratulations on having an IQ equal to that of my morning bowl of porridge! The worst thing is that my idiot cablewallah always ends up getting the last type of movie. And that is what I am watching right now. And that is the reason for this rather agitated post. Although, I must add, there are beans passing through the digestive systems of cows that would make better cablewallahs, but since he is my cablewallah I have respect for him and his miserable brain dead group who takes care of the cable system here.

Oh, and yes, regarding a wedding that I had to go to recently. What the hell is wrong with the bridegroom’s idiot brother? Who the hell sleeps till five in the evening on the day their brother is getting married? I know you are reading this, I know you know this is you. Don’t comment, just call me and lets have a cat fight.

And, yes, I use British spellings, so bite me! Hard.

Oh, and in case you disagree with what I was saying here – go menstruate; put on your skirt; and do some baking to calm yourself down.

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