Archive for November, 2006
So, another Monday, another week. I am sure that in ancient Babylonian mythology the God of Mondays was also the God of Hell. Or the other way around, your choice. And it is solely because of Him that we have to deal with bad Mondays at work where your energy is at rock bottom but you still have to smile and work with humans. As you might have noticed, despite me excessively irritating sunny disposition I am not a complete fan of Mondays.
But today was different, there was a training session with about 20 odd people. And it was for half the day. And then they told us that we have to take the second half off. I loved the trainer woman. Unlike most women she had a clue about life, the universe and everything.
I learnt that listening is more important than speaking in team environments; expect commitment as a result of empathy; and dont do to your staff what you would not have your manager do for you. Yeah right. As if anyone ever did this. But it sounded like good advice.
By the way, I share the global belief of hatred towards one’s manager and the higher management. Still, one day I get to become one. Beliefs and hypocrisy, such a common mixture.
Oh, and yes, I learnt another thing during training. I wanted to walk up to this exceptionally hot guy sitting on the other table; breath lightly on his neck, and then nibble it lightly. When I did that I learnt that such behaviour is not acceptable in our organization and they have given me a letter or warning that any further public displays of sexual activity will be met with immediate firing. The guy didnt like it either. He waited outside for me but I took the back door.
I am kidding, none of this happened. Just that I wanted to do the breath and nibble bit. Perverts.
A bit of this. A bit of that. A horriyingly fucked up keyboard and mouse. It is very hard to type.
Oh, and yes, I lost my cell phone. Again.
And a bit of money.
And my security card.
And my national identity card.
And my wallet; actually.
But it did not involve violence.
Just extreme sheer stupidity on my part.
Strangely Sexy Male Attendant Giving Out Stored Effects (SSMAGOSE) – Danger Power’s personal effects.
Austin Powers (AP) – Actually my name is Austin Powers.
SSMAGOSE – Says here your name Danger Powers.
AP – No no no no no. Danger is my middle name.
SSMAGOSE – Ok, Austin Danger Powers, one blue crushed velvet suit.
AP – Oh, yes. All right.
SSMAGOSE – One frilly lace Cravatte.
AP – There it is!
SSMAGOSE – One silver medallion with ‘male’ symbol. One pair of Italian boots.
AP – Bonjourno boys.
SSMAGOSE – One vinyl record album. Burt Bacharach plays his hits.
AP – Oh yes
SSMAGOSE – One Swedish made penis enlarger pump.
AP – That’s not mine.
SSMAGOSE – One credit card receipt for Swedish made Penis enlarger; signed by Austin Powers.
AP – I’m telling you baybee, thats not mine.
SSMAGOSE – One warranty card for Swedish made penis enlarger pump, filled out by, Austin Powers.
AP – I dont even know what this is, this sort of thing aint my bag baybee.
SSMAGOSE – One book, ‘Swedish-made penis enlarger pumps and me: (This sort of thing is my bad, Baby)” by Austin Powers.
AP – Ah!
SSMAGOSE – Just sign the form.
AP – Ok, ok, ill sign it, just to get things moving, you know.
Ohk, so, is it more geeky that I know this exists, or that I actually remembered these lines.
If you tickle me do I not laugh? If you burn me do I not singe?
If you kick me do I not call you names behind your back and try to hurt you in inconspicuous ways?
If you prick me do I not think about poking large red hot iron rods through your eye sockets?
Too much Shakespearean dialogue destruction for one post.
And in other news, I have actually started to become dull. I dont make good jokes. Or get naked on the table to entertain my friends.
I need to start drinking before parties!
Completely opposed to the evil rumours being spread by some people I know I am not completely sex deprived.
I am also sleep deprived, money deprived, and intellection stimulation deprived. If there was a city called Deprived, I would be one of the lesser gentry living on the major throughfare with a huge window overlooking the road. And of course, I would enjoy evening tea while watching the world go by. And ogling travellers while I ate overly marmaladed pieces of bread.
Innuendo you say! I scream back at you!!!
Insanity you say! I scream back at you!!!
And with this sudden psychotic outburst I shall bid my leave.
For some reason father have a whole family oriented side to them. They like to spend time with family as it was done three decades ago.
Going to the mall.
And it becomes a complete bitch explaining to people you know and meet there what you are doing in a mall with your family late on a Saturday night.
Bitch. Complete and absolute bitch reminiscent of giant dogs from the late pleistocene era.
But, in all seriousness, buying things does feel good. Especially if one is around some bald headed one day stubble tight clothing wearing guy who would look good on top of the stack of cans.
For some reason, completely unknown to me, I came across this. Though I will not toot my own horn, or blow my own trumpet, or other terms with delectable dual meanings, I will say that reading this actually made my happy and brought back memories of an experience. The exact reason for my starting this blog.
Apart from this the fact that I am a super sexed up horny slut that needs to get the attention of men who are then to be conveniently converted into bed breaking screaming animals is always to be considered a reasonable rationale behind this blog. But, there were times when I actually thought that the concept of the blog could be to actually get opinions from people on the other sides of the screen.
So, here goes, there is a guy who works for me. Does not have a working brain, even has strong religious beliefs and conceptions of right and wrong. Has a completely amazing body and wears nice and tight clothing to work to make the experiece all the more intereting for me. Try to wake up one hour early on a Monday just to see someone put on their tight dark blue pants and prance about the office and you will know what I mean.
So the question is this. Do I sleep with him against all the norms of my rules about having animal sex with my office colleagues. Or do I not sleep with him and sleep with this other guy in another department on another floor where there is an outside chance that I might actually get some office big wooden table sex experience?
And, on a completely unrelated note. I have fixed up my room and now it is a complete sex magnet.
In case you noticed, yes, my life does revolve around sex, so go fuck yourself, or better yet, contact me!