Archive for December, 2006

Wednesday – 21 Ziqaad 1427 – 22 Agrahayana 1928 – 13 December 2006

Tonight I went to the Karachi Film Festival. For the first time.

Good movie. Good ambiance. Good experience overall.

And, additionally so much eye candy that I had a seizure / fit and fell to the ground amidst convulsions with spit drooling out of my mouth.

I mean the percentage of delectable guys was definitely more than 33%.

Like I said, seizure / fit. And that has never happened to me before. And we are talking about me here.

Wednesday – 14 Ziqaad 1427 – 15 Agrahayana 1928 – 06 December 2006

So, I talked to Intellectual Intercourse Guy (IIG) today. Seems like an interesting human being.

Just not all that into sex.

Which reminds me of the wonderful Yuan Tung Special Hot and Sour soup I had today. And the horrible Fried Squid. So, if anyone tries out Yuan Tung they should order the Yuan Tung Special Hot and Sour soup and definitely steer clear of the fried Squid.

I hate squid now. Earlier on I thought it was an intelligent and beautiful creature, then it became a tasty and stupid creature, now it is just a tasteless and stupid creature.

I have over thinking.

Tuesday – 13 Ziqaad 1427 – 14 Agrahayana 1928 – 05 December 2006

Oh, and yes, I have learnt that I learn. I have also learnt that I am fat, ugly, disgusting, hairy and look about fifteen years older than I actually am.

Hence, I will start to exercise, eat properly, and pay attention to how I look from now onwards.

And, get a frikking hair cut and trim my fucking goatee to make me look less like Ho Chi Minh and more like a horny sex deprived maniac capable of taking you to heaven and back in 10 minutes.

Hmmmm, this blog is turning from my usual anti religious ravings into my usual sex deprived ravings.

Fuck it. All I wanna say is, wonderful weather, Pink Floyd rocks. The Invisible Pink Unicorm is beautiful, pink and invisible at the same time. And, Faiz can still make me melt over Nuskha ha e Wafa like it used to be four years from now in a far away part of the world.

Monday – 12 Ziqaad 1427 – 13 Agrahayana 1928 – 04 December 2006

Completely, absolutely, unequivocally amazing weather. Cloudy, windy, chilly, drizzly, and of course highly stimulating. I have not seen such amazing weather in Karachi during the past three years that I have been here. Of course with good weather always come memories of older times and a nostalgia that can only be covered up with long calls to college friends.

Wonderful day, wonderful weather. Though the water and all made life at Chundrigar an abso fucking lute bitch. And I mean super bitch with large nipples made of glowing hot copper that are then poked into your butts until you promise to behave and call her Judy Daddy for the rest of the evening.

That is obviously a story for another post. Till then bye and enjoy the amazing weather.

Friday – 09 Ziqaad 1427 – 10 Agrahayana 1928 – 01 December 2006

Wow. Karachi finally seems to be getting what might be called the most slight hint of a winter. At last. And like the piece of straw one grabs it while sinking I am absolutely loving this weather.

In addition I have learnt that tea goes excellently with a smoke if you are standing on top of your office building and seeing the world go by underneath that strangely cracked ledge where I stand and feel like I am going to fall and die any day now and upon realizing this promised myself to stop doing this from now on. Yes, I realized, horrifyingly long sentences. I can remember my English teacher tell me – Jalal, a comma is used when you need a small breath, a full stop when you need a long breath, remember that.

If only he were to see this he would tear his hair out and feel sorry for me and for not being able to teach proper Enlish to Pakistani students and hence failing in the greatest quest for human development since Faiz Ahmed Faiz decided to improve the status and state of humanity is this startlingly insane part of the world we call Pakistan.

Another long sentence. I can feel the cane coming smashing down on my desk and the statement ” Yes, you can go to have a drink of water, but you may not.” or “Hoome, Hoome, not Hoo.”

It is only because of him and our completely psychotically obsessively insane Urdu teacher that I can actually say that I can speak both English and Urdu to quite a corrent extent.

Oh, and yes, Pakistanis who can not speak both languages properly, and who seem to have had a reasonable education, are judged by me. I judge them, and I will continue to, I dont care what you think, I wil judge them, I will kick them, I might sleep with them, but I will judge them.

Now go to sleep and stop bugging me about how you think things should be. I have already declared how I want them to be and that is how things stand.

Oh and yes, my friend AA is a stupid fat pig; and MT is a stupid fat pink pig; and HH is a stupid fat pink ugly pig!

Thursday – 08 Ziqaad 1427 – 09 Agrahayana 1928 – 30 November 2006

As per past experience it would be very safe to asume and declare that I still like to go down.

A lot.

At times the recipient actually thinks that he is getting the better end of the deal.

But …, uh …, doh! You are not, I am!