Crash

Sunday – 17 Ramazan 1428 – 08 Asvina 1929 – 30 September 2007

It is as if my whole life has come crashing down around me. The same question that I ask myself and dread for the past ten years is in front of me again. Can I please lead my own life without fatally hurting everyone around me. Can I please be gay and my family accept me for it and let me live like that. And my sisters’ marriages are not sabotaged and their married lives are not destroyed.  And my parents position of respect and honour in our society is not destroyed due to my leading a gay life.

It is not as if I dont know the answer. I know the answer. No. You can not be gay without destroying the lives of your parents and sisters. But, stupid humans, stupid, hopeful, crazy emotional humans. I just want there to be a different answer.

How futile.

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5 Comments»

  PsycheD wrote @

stupid society more or less!

  Zag wrote @

Well, you really have answered your own question. Unless you go and live abroad you really dont have much choice, do you?

  kinkminos wrote @

It’s easy to curse “stupid society” — i think every society can be said to be stupid in one way or another, and there’s bound to be someone who feels that the society they live in is stupid because it does not accept them for who they are — whether it’s because they are music lovers, or heroin addicts, or believers in free sex, or moneylenders, or Al Qaida sympathizers.

i’m not trying to say that all of the above are the same or that they share any common traits. They are just random off-the-top-of-my-head examples.

From what i’ve read on your blog so far, i think the short answer to your question “Can I lead my own life without fatally hurting everyone around me?” is “no.”

However, you could explore the possibility of letting a few people who are close to you in on your secret. (This might require gradual exposure.) If you can reassure them that you would try not to allow your sexuality to become a matter of public record (thereby avoiding what your parents might consider “shame” to the family name) your family might come to accept you, esp if faced with the alternative of losing you altogether.

Maybe not the outcome you would most prefer, but better perhaps than dum ghut ke andar se mar jana.

Perhaps then at a later stage, once you have their acceptance, you can proceed to fling open the closet doors and burst forth performing a glorious triple gainer with a full twist.

Good luck. i’m just giving suggestions (so easy, isn’t it?). You are faced with the prospect of how to deal with the situation. in the short term, living inside the closet is so much better, so much more comfortable, but ultimately so much more stifling and claustrophobic.

  shezsays wrote @

on somewhat of a side note, got me thinking, if a friend came up to me and told me he was gay, how would i react? am i homophobic?

Usually im not judgmental, but l do make alot of Gay jokes.

  kinkminos wrote @

>>> usually i’m not judgemental, but l do make a lot of gay jokes.

freud would have had a field day with that statement…
: )


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