Car

Friday – 19 Ziqaad 1428 – 09 Agrahayana 1929 – 30 November 2007

As opposed to the evil assertions made by certain people through comments, I had intended to tell everyone about my new car. And what I have been doing with it. And since you all know by now that I am quite fucking crazy, and that I can do things that are wierd and strange. I will give a synopsis of my relationship with the car in a point list format.

01 – Company = Toyota.
02 – Vehicle = Vitz.
03 – Model = 05′ the new shape one.
04 – Distance = About 3,000 Kms.
05 – Engine Power = 1,300 CC.
06 – Transmission = Transmission.
07 – Car Fuck = 0-100 in about 15 seconds.
08 – Car Super Fuck = 0-140 in about 50 seconds.
09 – Car Screaming Daddy Dont Stop You Are Going Way To Fast Super Fuck (CSDDSYAGWTFSF) = 146 Kms/Hr.
10 – Location of CSDDSYAGWTFSF = Mai Kolachi Bypass, which is within the city.
11 – Feeling During CSDDSYAGWTFSF = Hell fucking Yea!
12 – Orgasm equivalent of feeling during CSDDSYAGWTFSF = 3.18.
13 – Dangerous accident near misses = 1. (Kind of my fault, I have reformed since then)
14 – Slight accident near misses = 3. (None of my fault at all, I have still reformed since then)
15 – Mileage = 11 kms per litre.
16 – Radio Settings = Japanese, so I get only 70 MHz to 90 MHz, which means that I get only one Pakistani FM Channel, 89.
17 – Tinting = Back windows.
18 – Tyres = Tubeless.
19 – Flats to Date = 2.
20 – Rims = Allow Rims. (They turn me on every time)
21 – Front lights that have exploded for no fucking reason whatsoever = 1 out of 4.
22 – Exploded front lights not fixed = 1 out of 1.
23 – Steering Wheel = Grooves fit my hand.
24 – Number of glove compartments used = 3 out of 3.
25 – Speedometer positioning = Exact centre of the Dash Board.
26 – Number of very slight scratches due to my accidents = 2.
27 – Number of very slight previous scrateches = 3.
28 – Colour = Silver Metallic.
29 – Maximum number of passengers = 5 out of 5 spaces.
30 – Expected passengers for Sunday = 7.
31 – Folding back seats = 2 out of 2.
32 – Times it takes to open the trunk since I dont know how = 2 – 5 minutes.
33 – Distance travelled by me = about 700 Kms.
34 – Number of times felt sorry about buying the car = 0.
35 – Number of times felt sorry for other not owning the car = 89,873,849.
36 – Number of times I have stroked my car with love = 3 (I can feel the shame now)
37 – Number of times I have opened the hood just to learn about cars = 6.
38 – Of (37) number of times I had grease on my hands = 1.
39 – Of (38) number of times I felt gross = 1.
40 – Of (38) number of times I felt horny = 1.
41 – Loss of Car Cigarette Smoking Virginity = Yes.
42 – Loss of Car Joint Smoking Virginity = Yes.
43 – Loss of Car Alcohol Consumption Virginity = No.
44 – Loss of Car Making Out Virginity = No.
45 – Loss of Car Sex Virginity = No.
46 – Loss of Car Another Couple Having Sex Virginity = No. But I have actually during writing this comment realized that I think it will be amazingly hot for me to do this, so, all applications are welcome, you have to come with a partner, and I will be allowed to peek.

One issue that I have with the car is the frikking Japanese FM settings. I need to find out how to tackle that and take care of the thing because at times one does want to listen to other radio channels.

After having an Automatic car for about a month, I feel that the rest of life of driving cars was an absolute waste and I should be spanked till thoroughly pinkish-red as a punishment for this (applications welcome).

And finally, the car has so much fucking space. I have amazing leg space. If someone sits behind my seat, even they have amazing leg space. Amazing amont of space in the car. Unbelievable.

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5 Comments»

  marsha wrote @

I have sirius satelite radio in my car. It cost about $12 american dollars a month. I get stations from all over the world. There is also XM radio which does the same thing only it’s getting ready to merge with sirius. This may be an option. Get a satelite radio. You’ll never go back to regular radio again. Of course, you have to get a receiver first.

  anthorclosetgay wrote @

congratulations buddy

  pakipoptart wrote @

Congrats!

  PsycheD wrote @

very, very interesting….very! sp the applications bit :P
congrats and happy, safe driving!

figure out the radio thingi and lemme know. dad’s mark x options (the radio is just one minor glitch) are totally alien to us…which is very annoying since whats the poinf of such an expensive car when u cant use the options other cars dont have??

btw…u dint mention the difficulty level in parking and squeezing thru traffic

  Zag wrote @

Okay now you are trying too hard :P btw, i think in Karachi you won’t have any problem finding couples who would wanna avail that offer of yours :) and you can peek to your heart’s content from the rear view mirror…… and ofcourse cuz of that you’ll also need a number of the tow truck so keep it handy :)

Marsha: I don’t think Sirius or XM works outside the US…. cuz the satelites are only covering US.

Oh btw, Jalal, why not just change the damn radio and get another one installed? problem solved.


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