Touring

Sunday – 09 Safar 1429 – 28 Magha 1929 – 17 February 2008

Well, the recent writers block has been violently overturned due to personal, official and political developments.

After the sad demise of my extremely disfunctional and painful engagement, I have been free to partake of the bounties of the world. Despite the psychosis, depression, hyperexcitement, body image issues, obesity and of course the abject fear of meeting complete strangers who might end up killing or looting me I have managed to garner a reasonable love life for myself. Let us not jump any guns. I am not romantically inclined towards anyone right now. Though I have managed to get one or two dates a week for the past one month. And of course, that is quite exciting to start off with. So, I am back in the game.

Gentlemen – Send your applications at my email address. The ability to communicate in human languages, a good sense of humour and of course being sexually attractive will definitely be a plus.

Ladies – If you are of the homosexual inclination and want nothing more than to marry a man who will understand you and has been voted the best-husband-to-be by a group of seven women please send your applications at my email address. A good sense of humour, a proper education and of course the ability to bear offspring who will beat off all the other competitors and hunt the largest prey will be a plus.

On the official front, I was recently sent on a Pan Pakistan training, fact finding and team building tour. Hyderabad, Quetta, Multan, Faisalabad, Lahore, Sialkot, Islamabad and Peshawar. After four flights and seven bus rides over a period of two weeks I have ended up meeting about two hundred colleagues from across the length and breadth of the country. It went very well, I saw more of Pakistan in a two week period than I could ever have in such a short time span. The eve of elections, the sexually charged winters and the mad dash to the next station all added to the overall excitement of an endeavour as insane as I am as a person. After this sentence I can see my English teacher standing behind my shoulders with a cane in her hand. “Propositions, preposition!, PREPOSITION!!!, use them, and stop writing like a dawdly”. I have no idea what a “dawdly” is, but I do not want to be one. I digress, the trip went well. All work and no play.

But, alive to my reputation of having dirty eyes, I present to you a ranking of men from cities across Pakistan, using the following factors – masculinity, beauty, wit, humour, finesse, class and of course added weightage for the first two purely physical factors. Please keep this handy, you will never in your whole life come across a list as interesting as this. Or the previous one, where I counted how much traffic passes in front of the City Court in the evening by hour.

1 – Karachi
2 – Islamabad
3 – Peshawar
4 – Lahore
5 – Quetta
6 – Sialkot
7 – Faisalabad
8 – Hyderabad
9 – Multan

Or course visiting nearly the whole country right before the elections has made me fairly clear about how the election will turn out.

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15 Comments»

  anothergayincloset wrote @

At least you should have called me if you came that close :( cause i am ‘near’ the top 3 positions you know ;)

  pakipoptart wrote @

How come my birth city lahore isn’t closer to the top? I demand a recount!!

  jalaluddin wrote @

anothergayinclosed – my email address is jalaluddin at gmail dot com, send me your number NOW, this is an order.

pakipoptart – dude, Lahoris cannot compare with Pathan boys. trust me! I have been there. But there was this guy from lahore this time around and he has my personal record for fastest hardon!

  anothergayincloset wrote @

you already had my number, can’t you remember the boys from mardan. dah

  Zag wrote @

You lucky son of a gun!!!!! I am so jealous of you right now!!!!

NOOOOOOOooooo not because of that list of yours!!! :P because you get to tour the whole country on company’s expense….. and you didn’t took a single pic???? I’d have my flickr account overflowing right now if I were in your place. You should be ashamed of yourself :P

oh waisay, Karachi number one? Really? Hmmm… I think this list has been rigged :D

oh and you should have gave us your whoz gonna win the election list as well.

  jalaluddin wrote @

anothergayincloset – No! I do have your number! I thought it might be someone else!

Zag – Well :) my fucking camera space is full so couldnt take any pics. And it is SO not rigged. It is right. And about the elections, things turned out exactly as they were expected to be.

  Zag wrote @

Umm…… transfer it to your PC you lazy ass!! :)

  jalaluddin wrote @

I cant. I am lazy and I dont have the equipment. It will take time. I hate doing this.

I do not have to explain anything to you!!! You are not my dad!

  Zag wrote @

You don’t have the “equipment”!!!! Its a damn wire to connect the cam to the usb slot :P and if u r THAT lazy, get a wifi SD card :P Sheesh and i thought u were ahead of me when it came to tech stuff :P

  Jalal wrote @

I AM ahead of you. And I am a better driver as well!

I am going to bluetooth it to my sisters phone and get it to the PC, cant get the wiring for this thing.

  Zag wrote @

Better driver? Sayz who????? :P

  jalaluddin wrote @

Says me!!! You know it and I know it.

  Zag wrote @

HA!!! Keep dreaming :P

  jalaluddin wrote @

You know how this is resolved.

  Zag wrote @

What? You wanna race?


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