Talk the Talk

Day 10,290 – Wednesday – 26 Agrahayana 1930 – 18 Zilhaj 1429 – 17 December 2008

So, the other day, I met up with a gay friend of mine. Nice guy. Very very good looking. Single. And looking. So, if you are interested, drop me a line. He has all of my good qualities, and to top that off he is fair, beautiful, well built and charming. So, a very good catch. Applications are welcome Monday through Friday from 1900 hours to 0900 hours and even during the day timings on the weekend.

So, two young gay guys, both single and looking, in the same car. The discussion on homosexuality was inevitable. We discussed all the different sorts of guys one meets. How society has shaped them. And how they behave.

There is the i-am-pure-top guy who is an absolute dick, extremely desirable, but completely deflated after an initial burst of producing interest in oneself. And yes, if you are not going to give a blow job, and touching cum is disgusting to you, dude, you are str8, so stop fucking guys simply because you could not get a girl (this is not meant to offend guys who are actually gay and have feelings similar to what I have written above). You can blow me or get the fuck out of my bed.

There is the i-am-oh-so-effeminate guy who is an absolute woman, says he is masculine, then plays with his extremely well maintained eye brows and bats his eye lashes at the waiter shamelessly. Ok, so when we were talking on the phone, why the fuck did you have a fake voice? And why the hell did you tell me that everyone tells you that you are so str8 acting. Dont you think I will see through the ten pounds of hair product, obscenely manicured eye brows, incredibly slated gait and demeanour, and the eye lash batting. Oh please! Dont lie to me, and if you did, you had better sleep with the waiter.

There is the i-am-so-fashionably-cool guy who is in showbiz, says he cares about people and is down to earth, but he has the ego the size of my dick when it is erect (read huge) and the huge flowers on his shirts make him look incredibly gay, and yes, everyone knows that you are gay because your clothes scream it out, and to top it off, if you make fun of my French Pronunciations, you are an elitist dick, even when you are mis pronouncing every Urdu word by default because you want to make sure that you dont seem like you know the language spoken in your city by 99.5% of the people.

There is the i-am-so-emotionally-needy guy who would want to talk on the phone all the time and thinks it is romantic and not creepy, but he doesnt realize that there are people who have jobs and lives and will greet you at 7 pm by “did you remember me now after the whole day?”. My reply until now was, I am so sorry, I thought that since we talked on the phone for two hours last night, one hour of which I was begging you to let me go, I can not call you till seven today. My reply, from now onwards is going to be, shut the fuck up and suck my sugar frosted dick, biyatch.

Oh and yes, sorry, but the quality of your skin is not the only good thing about you. Brainless idiot.

We also decided that in spite of these, and oh so many other negative stereotypes there are many good guys out there, we have both been with some.

And then we started discussing which hotel in Karachi is the best. For having sexual trysts in. We did not reach an agreement. I liked Beach Luxury and he liked Hotel Mehran. Oh well! Maybe ill try it next time.

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13 Comments»

  F. wrote @

Your friend, why don’t you…see if things lead anywhere between you two? Speaking from a blissfully naive point of view, who’s to say he isn’t the perfect guy for you?

  SC wrote @

I must say, a very concise description indeed! Haha! I might add something to the whole shazzaam myself… but first.. exam in 5 hours… shit.. no.. campus shooting anyone?

  SC wrote @

And, as for your friend, he definitely seems to be a catch. To quote the great Johnny Bravo, “Hubba Hubba Hubba”

  PAPPU wrote @

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH
I LOVE GAY PEOPLE.

  Zag wrote @

F: Who knows maybe that are both after the same “thing” :)

  Afaque wrote @

Oh you are so in love with beach luxury… lol
n specially its “Chai”… aint ya? :)

  utp wrote @

aaahh…MEN!!!

  Kabir wrote @

haha, really funny post… i’m gonna be in Karachi soon if you wanna hang out:)

  jalaluddin wrote @

Well the thing is that, I think he is too good for me. So I cant do anything about that.

Afaque – Now dont go getting a lot of ideas.

Kabir – I would love to hang out.

  closetalk wrote @

lol. u ever come to bombay and wanna know ant hotels for trysts there, gimme a buzz. i’ll tell u which one has the best sheets, the best pillows, the best jacuzzis… :)

  Pakistani wrote @

Humm, Nice Post… But need to think over this!

  Afaque wrote @

hmm I will.. I will… lol

  xy wrote @

hahah, nice stuff man…., though yes getting close enough to share cum in some particular way is kinda scary…and NO blowjobs, but then again im 30% bi…
loved the classifaction of gay stereotypes…dude, u gotta blog more…


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