Cellphone

Day 10,279 – Saturday – 15 Agrahayana 1930 – 07 Zilhaj 1429 – 06 December 2008

A cell phone, like a laptop, is an extension of a person. Much like daggers and horses and shields used to be in an earlier age. And since these gadgets are an extension of one’s personality they are loved and cherished.

On the record, I love my Mac. My mac is closer to me than sex with Val Kilmer. Six times. After that I will loose interest in him and return to the laptop anyways, so there is no need going there.

I just love to see the bright glowing apple logo on my mac at night. It is magical.

But, now, I have started to hate my cellphone. Fuck you Motorola. I am a loyal fucking customer and your phones are fucking crap. My battery dies down very soon. I dont have my fucking phone working for about 25% each day. Fuck you motorola fuck you.

I slept with my mac last night. And it felt good. I preferred the whirring of my laptop next to my pillow rather than the feel of your cold steely sexy body with my hand under the pillow. I hate you!!! I cheated on you and it felt good.

Die bitch!

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Blogging

Day 10,278 – Friday – 14 Agrahayana 1930 – 06 Zilhaj 1429 – 05 December 2008

I seem to be becoming fucking senile at an incredibly fast pace. I think about at least ten good blogging items a day. Things I want to write about. But then I just fucking forget when I sit here in front of my fucking screen. I think I have used the word “fucking” too many times too soon.

Goddamnit!

So, there is a guy who I am messaging on Manjam and Facebook. He is currently using a Mint KY Jelly.

I want some.

Now.

And, SC, you know who you are, and I know that you are reading it. So, there goes. Go wild basking in the glow of your
fame.

TV

Day 10,276 – Wednesday – 12 Agrahayana 1930 – 04 Zilhaj 1429 – 03 December 2008

God I love to watch TV shows. During every show, even the ones that I do not like, I get transported into the show. Same goes for movies. And once that happens, I become some sort of another invisible character on the show. And then I get involved with the show.

And then, I get crushes on all the men in the show, and then I feel sorry for not being able to sleep with them, so I start hating all the women. Then the women get dumped and they go completely destroyed so I start pitying them.

And I love the shows.

God! I need love in my life.

Despair

Day 10,274 – Monday – 10 Agrahayana 1930 – 02 Zilhaj 1429 – 01 December 2008

I feel that being dark, hairy, fat, ugly and generally disgusting is causing a serious problem in my sex life.

That is, I am not getting enough and I am sex deprived all the time.

Oh God! It is so difficult being ugly like you wouldnt believe.

Coitophobia

Day 10,273 – Sunday – 09 Agrahayana 1930 – 01 Zilhaj 1429 – 30 November 2008

Ok. So, I think that after my recent “relationship” I am going to be afraid of relationships and sex.  Voila, a new phobia is born.

I am not going to date fucking idiots simply because I think they are hot.

DBX

Day 0 – Home, Karachi Airport, Dubai Airport, Oh so many beautiful Dubai men, Immigration, Drive home

Day 1 – Spinneys for a phone card, Bur Juman to kill time and check out the city, Burger King for a triple whopper that I could not control at all, CK, Gap, Giordano, Ibn Batuta for a very tired cart ride, Barasti for drinks and chilling, Bar Zar, Madinah Jumeira

Day 2 – Wild Wadi for water rides, Beautiful scantily clad men and women in a water park a la Dubai, Chilis because SD could have eaten two horses, Peanut Butter Jam for live music and that woman with the shrill voice, Casbar for dancing and watching extremely sexy guys

Day 3 – Ikea to get stuff but got late, Fudruckers for an amazing burger with excessive cheese, Festival City for a trip to see the mall, Waterfront Mall, Atlantis to check out the new hotel, Lost chambers to check out a million types of marine life, 360degrees for drinks and chillin, Burger King for the last time

Day 4 – Jumeira beach for checking out the guys and HS for checking out the chick (if HS’s wife is reading this, he was not checking out the chicks but missing you and he didnt even open his eyes), Dubai Marina beach to enjoy the beach, Bur Juman for frantic last minute shopping, Dubai Airport duty free incredibly cute guy flirting voraciously, Karachi Airport, Home.

Dubai

Day 10,256 – Monday – 22 Kartika 1930 – 14 Ziqaad 1429 – 13 November 2008

Ok, so I am in Dubai.

A few observations.

I thought I was off white guys. But I am not. Still very into white guys.

Lebanese men are so fucking hot.