Rules and Guidelines of Male Bonding Groups.
Incomplete as of now.
Original Inalienable Rules and subsequent Annexures, Addenda and Amendments (1 to 381) have to be added to this document.
Since the dawn of time, since the breaking of the land, since the great migrations of mankind, we, the people of this planet have lived in harmonious groups. Mankind, as a sensient and intelligent race, has learnt over centuries and millennia of personal and communcal experiences, and out of this learning and wisdom has arised a set of rules, regulations, guidelines, dictates and laws to live together. The laws differ from country to country, city to city, even group to group according to the evolutionary trajectory of that particular communal group through the thick and thin of time.
This set of rules, regulations, guidelines, dictates and laws caters to all segments, cultures and niches of society. But, then, there are specialized needs and groupings. The most important of all of them are Male Bonding Groups (MBGs), these are social groups of interlinked, related, joined or simply interacting men in a group without any women. The duration of the formation and continuation of the group, and the length of the group interaction sessions are not pertinent factors defining the dynamics of the group behaviour. The defining factors of the group dynamic is the gender of the individuals and the ensuing requirement that sense, good behaviour and honour prevail amongst all.
Rule 1 – A man will not covet his friend’s wife, sister, mother, daughter, grand mother or grand daughter. The sister can be coveted but only if the friend arranges the union himself.
Rule 2 – A man will not cry in front of another man unless it is at the battlecharge of a heroic epic movie, the speech immediately preceding it or the death of the hero after profound last words.
Rule 3 – A man will not sit on another man’s lap.
Rule 4 – A man will not share his feelings with another man.
Rule 5 – A man shall not use the word cute to describe another man.
Rule 6 – A man will not kick another man in the genitalia, except to avert imminent death or grievour harm to his own genitalia.
Rule 7 – A man will not, in any way, try to avert or dissaude another man from having sex with a woman that the other man has mentioned on any other occasion.
Over Annexures, Addenda and Amendments number 89 – 321 added solely to clarify the group’s character change from a homogenously hetrosexual group to include, but not restricted to, Jalal, as a homosexual member of the group.
Annexure, Addendum and Amendment number 28 to the Rules and Guidelines of Male Bonding Groups.
Rule 1 – In a country where a cigarette costs less then 1% of the national average daily income a man may ask strangers for a cigarette.
Rule 2 – In a country where a cigarette costs less than 1% of the national average daily income a man will not judge any stranger who requests a cigarette from him.
Rule 3 – If one man asks a friend to give him a cigarette, then those two men are friends forever and the second man can, whenever he so chooses, demand any item from the first man that costs less than 10% of the national average monthly income, and the first man will have to comply with the request.
Rule 4 – If a man sees that another man has just one cigarette, he will not ask for it, unless his death is imminent and certain in the very near future.
Guideline 1 – You can always turn down a request to give a cigarette to someone who asks you for one. But, then the other person has the right to think of you as they may.
Annexure, Addendum and Amendment number 382 to the Rules and Guidelines of Male Bonding Groups.
Rule 1 – If one man is wearing business casual clothing (which must include a tie) and is sitting with his legs crossed then he can not use the shoe of the leg on top to kick another man.
Rule 2 – If one man is wearing business casual clothing (which must include a tie) and is sitting with his legs crossed then he can not use the shoe of the leg at the bottom to kick another man.
Guideline 1 – If two men are sitting very close, and one man has his legs crossed, the man with the legs crossed will ensure that in case he needs to change position he does not have to either kick the other man, or ask him to move before the posture is changed. You must ensure that this calculation is completed before you sit with your legs crossed.
Guideline 2 – If your gay friends starts talking to you while you are both in front of neighbouring urinals you will not start an awkward conversation, you will just giggle/laugh and tell him this is not the right place to talk.
And, on top of this, I am going to make a complete document on this.
To do – Urinals, Bachelor Parties, Birthdays, Kick in the nuts, Friend sleeping around who you can tell rules, Hickies,