Archive for embarrasing

Nostalgia

Wednesday – 12 Rajab 1424 – 19 Bhadra 1925 – 10 September 2003 

since commenting was down someone sent me 3 email to post this. well here it is.

i should tell you before i proceed. i never pay attention to clothing. i get my clothes cleaned. then i keep wearing them one by one. after wearing one thing for a day or two i throw it in a corner of my room. the clothes collect there. and after a few days (read 2-3 weeks) all my clothes are there except for the 2-3 expensive formal attire that i had. now one day i get up. and i see oh no pants(read lower wear)/shirts(read upper wear) to wear. then i just shove my hand into the pile of clothes. pick out something and wear it. this goes on for about 2-3 weeks more. making sure that the clothes that i wear dont smell while i wear em.

so in this way in about 4-6 i have used up all my clothes and they are all VERY dirty and cannot be worn. then i give them for cleaning which takes about 2-3 days. i sunchronize with the weekend so i kept naked most of the 2-3 days (oh come on ! if you are thinking what i think you are thinking you are perverted). also if during this 2-3 days i have to wear something i had to resort to doing strange things. i acutally once attired myself in a sheet to have lunch. EVERYONE was staring at me. then there was one time when i wore the a suit to a friends birthday. well lets say i was the only one not wearing a short and a t-shirt and i felt like a freak. but then they asked me to address them. and i made the most vulgar and cheap speech ever to ever fawning crowd of friends.

this is about the time when i was in college actually about 5-6 months ago. it was a crisp spring morning. a slight chill will you catch if you wear half sleeves (queer sentence structure). it was one of the 2-3 days without clothes. i was looking in my drawer when i saw a pair of pants. i said. YES ! oh oh. but no underwear. what the hell. who needs that anyway. it is just an added encumberment upon me. so i decided to go commando. oh but if i were to know what lay in the future for me.

well i noticed it too late. it wasnt that cold. my pants were ripped. right at the rumaali (crotch). and it was a slightly biggish hole. and i was like. OH DEAR GOD !!! OH FUCK !!! NO NO NO NO NO !!! NOT YOU !!! ANYTHING ELSE BUT THIS !!! but ahhhhh what childish dreams i had squashed at that instant. no miracles took place. i was as i was. wearing ripped pants. now i dont wear pants i wear jeans but today was a special day. well i hated it.

i went to class. sat with one leg over the other. wearing pants. a VERY distinguished gentleman i was. sitting in formal clothing in a formal way. oh but if they knew the truth. how shocked would they be. i wasnt distinguished, i was naked. damn it. i was dead scared that day. i didnt walk at all fast all day for fear of hearing a large rip and everything falling apart. and yes i KNOW i wasnt wearing underwear. everyone would have seen my inadequecies. OH COME ON !!! IT WAS A VERY COLD DAY !!! HARDLY A DAY TO GO A PRANCING !!! and that is why i use inadequecies. otherwise you know. i am big. right. come on. i am! come on! i am not lying! ok what ever i shall proceed now.

so the day is going NOT WELL then i go to the cafe. sitting with a group of friends. and suddenly one of them jokes. why are you acting as if your pants are ripped. and we all have a laugh. i probably had a laugh slightly more nervous than the others. my friend realized that. and he said. why are you sitting cross legged. i shot a look at him. he was smiling. he knew !!! HE KNEW !!! damn it ! and he knew i knew. so well he said. HEY EVERYONE LISTEN !!! jalal is not wearting underwear. and they are all like WHOA !!! come on open his legs show us.

oh what nice cherub like kids they were. little did they know that in trying to see the rip they could actually catch big jalal sleeping. (a VERY interesting thing that i noticed as i wrote the last sentence jalal means anger or fury in my language, this dual meaning might get me a few emails from a large number of bottoms out there ;) ) well i didnt tell them about me being commando. well i kept quiet. and kept my feet shut as about 8 guys pulled them apart. (come to think of it even this sentence can have dual meanings). well i suddenly told em i am commando. they all said in unison EWWWW !!! and they all stopped. seems like noone wanted to see big jalal.

after that one of the guys jokes about big jalal actually being little jalal. now i never let such an opportunity pass. i always pass some sort of gay comment jokingly and make it seem like i am str8 but just kid about being gay. so i told him he can check out jalal in the bathroom. well lets say NOONE made any other such comments that day. ;)

and after the cafe incident i came back and changed into nothing again. never again did big jalal get to see the whole university and the cafe himself.

so my advice to all of you. if you cant get caught. and are as intelligent as me. do it someday. commando and ripped pants. and yes this only for one reason so you can post about it. and i can amuse myself as much as you probably have about me. ;)

Rickshaw rolling down a bridge

Tuesday – 20 Jamadi us Sani 1424 – 28 Sravana 1925 – 19 August 2003 

today i am at my cousins. he just gave his exam so i came over because he would be alone otherwise. well he is a very nice guy. the kindof person that you can spend time with without getting bored to death and you will not want to leave his company.

that said i will proceed. the thing is i am a person who likes to joke a lot. well at times i forget that you are not supposed to go crazy with someone you just met. well i was on the bus. the conductor said something which i thought was something else. i joked about something. he got serious and said something. i again took it as something else. well lets just say he told me i was an idiot. not very nice when 15 people are hearing you being called that in a bus.

mental note to self : never joke with someone you have met the first time. and if you do, make fun of yourself, NOT his education.

also when you are at the top of a bridge. and the rickshaw stops and you and the driver get out. HOLD IT !!! maybe the driver thinks you will hold it and that is why he just left it. and when the thing starts hurtling down. you will have to run like a fucking horse on fire to catch it. which i did. and when you get to it. it will have a HUGE impetus. believe me. so stop it when it is easier.

mental note to self : contain the situation when you can. do not let it hurtle out of control.

well thank god i had a nice post today. i will see you later. bye yall. have fun at least someone should.

oh and yes another thing. my cousins friends came over. one of them made a point at me. he was known as the kindof person who is good at such things. well lets just say that after half an hour the other 4 people were falling out of their chairs while i made that guy look like a complete idiot.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!! the wonders of being a bitch and feeling good about it as well.

Overtures

Saturday – 10 Jamadi us Sani 1424 – 18 Sravana 1925 – 09 August 2003   

ok here is the normal post. without an abnormally high level of excitement or patriotic hoopla.

since i have nothing interesting to tell. except that i wore starched kurta pajama today. bright white. looked wonderful. then something went wrong with the car. i had to get it fixed. i has to sit for two hours besides the car while it was being fixed in that dress. to people who are not from my country. it was like wearing an ancient egyptian army uniform to college as a matter of routine. i had to try and hide. but the clothes were SO white they shone like the sun.

why am i such a moronic buffoon.

also since i dont have anything interesting to post i think i will tell you one of my college stories.

i think one guy may have tried to offer to have sex with me once. i am not sure coz he didnt say that openly. it was late at night. i was at a friends. and this other guy comes in. he was slightly strange. but i liked him sexually. we talked for a while. then he asked me over to his place to check his computer out. there was somethign wrong with it.

so i went with him. alone. at night. with a man that i lust for. wishing to myself that he rips my clothes off and takes me.

but we talked about stuff. then we started talking about porn. str8 porn. i was notorious for being a porn junkie. which i was. so we talk and talk. i got hard. but i noticed that since he opened his mouth i am not interested in him any more. he was an idiot. and we were talking about porn. i was still hard. then he shocked the living daylight out of me. he told me “i sometimes even like to watch gay porn”. i was shocked. i finished the conversation hastily. and ran like the wind.

i cannot lose my virginity to someone with an IQ less than 12.3. i hope he was trying to hit on me. coz that would be my first proposal to sex. albeit for a buffoon.

and then i wonder why i am a virgin. GOD!