Archive for gadgets

Cellphone

Day 10,279 – Saturday – 15 Agrahayana 1930 – 07 Zilhaj 1429 – 06 December 2008

A cell phone, like a laptop, is an extension of a person. Much like daggers and horses and shields used to be in an earlier age. And since these gadgets are an extension of one’s personality they are loved and cherished.

On the record, I love my Mac. My mac is closer to me than sex with Val Kilmer. Six times. After that I will loose interest in him and return to the laptop anyways, so there is no need going there.

I just love to see the bright glowing apple logo on my mac at night. It is magical.

But, now, I have started to hate my cellphone. Fuck you Motorola. I am a loyal fucking customer and your phones are fucking crap. My battery dies down very soon. I dont have my fucking phone working for about 25% each day. Fuck you motorola fuck you.

I slept with my mac last night. And it felt good. I preferred the whirring of my laptop next to my pillow rather than the feel of your cold steely sexy body with my hand under the pillow. I hate you!!! I cheated on you and it felt good.

Die bitch!

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Mondays

Day 10,032 – Monday – 24 Safar 1429 – 13 Phalgun 1929 – 03 March 2008

So, after work, my friends decide to drop me off. I agree. I am stupid. After a while I learn that they want to go to this summer clothing exhibition. Mausummery. At Marriott. I am stupid. I decided to enjoy it. I am stupid. So, we went there. The hotel had too many women roaming about. I should have gotten an idea. I am stupid.

When I entered the exhibition I was shocked to the very core of my being. Women, after seeing another thousand women and two hundred varieties of clothing go completely insane. Completely insane. They have no idea where they are. They have no idea what to do. They just move, as if my the powers of God, towards whatever piece of clothing they like. They do. I saw it today. And I will not be dissuaded by anyone telling me the contrary.

Those women were nuts. I got pushed by them. Some of them pushed me as they hurtled headlong into throngs of women gathered in front of the clothing items that they wanted. I felt like I was forced into a world of excessively large billiard balls and clothing. Those women would push and shove and shout and laugh and scream with glee. It was the scariest experience I have ever had with women. And this includes living with my mother and sisters. It was scary beyond all calculations. It was scary. I have been scarred for life.

But, one good thing came out of it, I think I have a much deeper understanding of women now, through this one experience, than I had throughout the period of my engagement. I saw the blank stared of the women moving towards clothing items. I saw it. And I was very very scared. Now, I know. I know you all for what you are. I know!

After this harrowing experience into the inner workings of the female brain me and a friend went out for coffee. And there, I saw two things, the sexiest man for the last quarter. That is three months. And the sexiest gadget for the last year. That is twelve months. The new Mac, the wafer thin light as fucking hell one.

I just could not decide on, given a choice, which one to have sex with, and which one to marry. I was just so seriously confused. But, in the end, the guy won. I did not do anything, but I think he was so cute, I can oil him up and massage him for anywhere between ten minutes and ten hours. Oh God. This excessive obsession with sex is definitely not good. Is it?