Archive for islamabad

Touring

Sunday – 09 Safar 1429 – 28 Magha 1929 – 17 February 2008

Well, the recent writers block has been violently overturned due to personal, official and political developments.

After the sad demise of my extremely disfunctional and painful engagement, I have been free to partake of the bounties of the world. Despite the psychosis, depression, hyperexcitement, body image issues, obesity and of course the abject fear of meeting complete strangers who might end up killing or looting me I have managed to garner a reasonable love life for myself. Let us not jump any guns. I am not romantically inclined towards anyone right now. Though I have managed to get one or two dates a week for the past one month. And of course, that is quite exciting to start off with. So, I am back in the game.

Gentlemen – Send your applications at my email address. The ability to communicate in human languages, a good sense of humour and of course being sexually attractive will definitely be a plus.

Ladies – If you are of the homosexual inclination and want nothing more than to marry a man who will understand you and has been voted the best-husband-to-be by a group of seven women please send your applications at my email address. A good sense of humour, a proper education and of course the ability to bear offspring who will beat off all the other competitors and hunt the largest prey will be a plus.

On the official front, I was recently sent on a Pan Pakistan training, fact finding and team building tour. Hyderabad, Quetta, Multan, Faisalabad, Lahore, Sialkot, Islamabad and Peshawar. After four flights and seven bus rides over a period of two weeks I have ended up meeting about two hundred colleagues from across the length and breadth of the country. It went very well, I saw more of Pakistan in a two week period than I could ever have in such a short time span. The eve of elections, the sexually charged winters and the mad dash to the next station all added to the overall excitement of an endeavour as insane as I am as a person. After this sentence I can see my English teacher standing behind my shoulders with a cane in her hand. “Propositions, preposition!, PREPOSITION!!!, use them, and stop writing like a dawdly”. I have no idea what a “dawdly” is, but I do not want to be one. I digress, the trip went well. All work and no play.

But, alive to my reputation of having dirty eyes, I present to you a ranking of men from cities across Pakistan, using the following factors – masculinity, beauty, wit, humour, finesse, class and of course added weightage for the first two purely physical factors. Please keep this handy, you will never in your whole life come across a list as interesting as this. Or the previous one, where I counted how much traffic passes in front of the City Court in the evening by hour.

1 – Karachi
2 – Islamabad
3 – Peshawar
4 – Lahore
5 – Quetta
6 – Sialkot
7 – Faisalabad
8 – Hyderabad
9 – Multan

Or course visiting nearly the whole country right before the elections has made me fairly clear about how the election will turn out.

Journey

Monday – 13 Zilhaj 1428 – 04 Pausa 1929 – 24 December 2007  

So, despite all the suggestions, ideas, opinions, advice and orders given to us, me and a group of friends decided to go on a Pakistan wide road trip. Starting on the day of Eid. Crazy you might say, but I would call it an adventure. That is life, what the boring goat killing meat eating morons call stupidity and crass idiocy I would call adventure and action. After all, I have learnt over a lifetime that I do not usually do what society expects me to do and I do things on many occasions just to be different and opposing to the trends to society. I used to think of it as individualism and non comformity, but now, I think it is just psychotic stubbornness.

So, the trip being so long and so intense can not be put into words, I would need to write at least 56,783 pages. But, lets not do that. I will just give a summary of how the trip unfolded.

Karachi – 07:38 – 21,069 Kms
Nooriabad – 08:59 – 21,181 Kms

Flying the car at 160kmph.

Jamshoro – 09:25 – 21,238 Kms
Sehwan – 10:52 – 21,372 Kms
Dadu – 11:44 – 21,416 Kms

Bad fucking roads; suicidal dogs who would just not get out of the way of the car; lots of roadkill; crazy people standing in the middle of the road and not moving unless I keep my hand on the horn; and last but not least the company of good friends to get me through this.

Larkana – 14:11 – 21,545 Kms
Sukkur – 16:21 – 21,651 Kms

Having food at Sukkur.

Sindh Punjab Border – 18:52 – 21,794 Kms
Sadiqabad – 19:15 – 21,821 Kms
Rahim Yar Khan – 19:31 – 21,843 Kms
Bahawalpur – 21:32 – 22,036 Kms

Calling twenty odd people who we knew and asking them if it is a good idea to go straight to Lahore and not stop over in Multan as we had planned earlier. Opposition from each and every one of those people. Despite that we decide to go straight to Lahore and not stop in the middle. If only there was one sane person in the car they would have told us not to go straight to Lahore and stop over in Multan. Global public opinion versus the people in the car. We win and we move for Lahore.

Multan – 22:35 – 22,118 Kms

Unbelievable amounts of Coffee in Multan. Hogging it.

Mian Chunnu – Haroon Service Station – 00:32 – 22,222 Kms

Used the restroom, again. Terrible.

Harappa – 01:10 – 22,276 Kms
Sahiwal – 01:24 – 22,296 Kms
Okara – 01:53 – 22,337 Kms

The journey just does not stop. Long, long, long, long, two drivers, eighteen hours. Amazingly long journey.

Getting to drive in Lahore for the first time in my life.

Lahore – 03:30 – 22,478 Kms

Sleep over in Lahore, getting up and going to Daewoo Bus service for a ticket to Islamabad. Got a ticket for 8. Traded in the ticket for an open position in an earlier bus.

Daewoo Lahore – 19:37
Ravi – 20:06
Bhera – 21:20
Motorway Ends Islamabad – 11:55

Get to meet four of my friends from college. They are in from different parts of the world, and the possibility of these people gathering in one place in one time is nearly non existent. So, enjoying the company.

Marriott – 12:30
Serena – 02:30
Marriott – 02:45
Home – 03:15

Started reading the Kite Runner.

Sleep – 04:00
Awake – 10:15
Full Quorum – 11:15
Heading out – 13:15
Buying Beers – 14:15
Having Beers – 15:15
Having Food – 16:15
Leaving for Airport – 17:00
Islamabad Airport – 19:00
Karachi Airport – 21:00
Home – 21:45

Travelled across the country and got back home. One very long road trip. One meeting with a group of all of my friends from college. Amazing journey for life.