Archive for Lust

Wedding Food

Day 10,297 – Wednesday – 04 Pausa 1930 – 25 Zilhaj 1429 – 24 December 2008

So, the depression is wearing off. Hours and hours of self therapy and telling myself that I need to calm the fuck down have helped. Of course a lot of gay porn was also good thing for me during this trying time.

On an unrelated note, I went to a wedding yesterday. And the food there was absofuckinglutely amazing. And the adding of the adjective fucking in the previous sentence was required because otherwise the meaning to be conveyed would have been lost.

Huntley Ritter

Day 10,291 – Thursday – 27 Agrahayana 1930 – 19 Zilhaj 1429 – 18 December 2008

Yes, you read it right. That is the topic.

Why do I feel, at least right now, that that is the hottest, most sexiest man alive? And I mean kicking any other man out of bed as compared to this one.

Of course that is with his golden goatee.

God!

Oh, and SAK from work. Is very very cute. Of course not as cute as Huntley Ritter, but very very cute otherwise indeed.

And about my friend; I don’t want to sound like I have a low opinion of myself or have any other self image issues, I am very confident and happy with who and what I am. But I think he is too good for me, I am not worthy of him and dont deserve him. I mean, he is everything one could ask for, and hence, yes, I do think about him at times. He does not know about this. And he does not know about this blog. So he will not find out. But; he is a catch. Just not going to be my catch. Oh, and for me, he is at 0.999 Huntley Ritter.

Cellphone

Day 10,279 – Saturday – 15 Agrahayana 1930 – 07 Zilhaj 1429 – 06 December 2008

A cell phone, like a laptop, is an extension of a person. Much like daggers and horses and shields used to be in an earlier age. And since these gadgets are an extension of one’s personality they are loved and cherished.

On the record, I love my Mac. My mac is closer to me than sex with Val Kilmer. Six times. After that I will loose interest in him and return to the laptop anyways, so there is no need going there.

I just love to see the bright glowing apple logo on my mac at night. It is magical.

But, now, I have started to hate my cellphone. Fuck you Motorola. I am a loyal fucking customer and your phones are fucking crap. My battery dies down very soon. I dont have my fucking phone working for about 25% each day. Fuck you motorola fuck you.

I slept with my mac last night. And it felt good. I preferred the whirring of my laptop next to my pillow rather than the feel of your cold steely sexy body with my hand under the pillow. I hate you!!! I cheated on you and it felt good.

Die bitch!

TV

Day 10,276 – Wednesday – 12 Agrahayana 1930 – 04 Zilhaj 1429 – 03 December 2008

God I love to watch TV shows. During every show, even the ones that I do not like, I get transported into the show. Same goes for movies. And once that happens, I become some sort of another invisible character on the show. And then I get involved with the show.

And then, I get crushes on all the men in the show, and then I feel sorry for not being able to sleep with them, so I start hating all the women. Then the women get dumped and they go completely destroyed so I start pitying them.

And I love the shows.

God! I need love in my life.

Computers

Day 10,164 – Sunday – 22 Asadha 1930 – 09 Rajab 1429 – 13 July 2008

Disclaimer – As the post progresses there is a marked increase in sex, violent and graphical language. Please proceed at your own responsibility and do not proceed if you are not yet 18 years of age.

This is the first time I am using Pages, which the word processing tool available for Apple, to blog. I have to admit that as a new user of Apple I have to divide the world of computer users into three categories.

The first category is of the users who need to use the computer’s software to the maximum. They need to code in C++ and check if the code works. They need to be incredibly boring on the dinner table, because I don’t want to fucking know that you were able to shorten the code to four lines and now it is using less memory as well as processing power. I have spent four years of my life learning to fucking be an IT guy, and I don’t want to spend one more day at it. Thank you very much.

This category of users will be called the Software utilizers. They need to have a custom built computer with Linux installed on it.

The second category is of the users who need to use the computer’s hardware to the maximum. They need to process video files whilst they play graphics rich computer games. They need to be incredibly boring on the dinner table, because I don’t want to fucking know that you were able to fight off three Zerg rushes before you eventually raided the Zerg camp and destroyed them while the rest of your team could not help you. I have spent years of my life gaming, and I just cannot stand another conversation revolving around computer games any more.

This category of users will be called the Hardware utilizers. They need to have a PC with some version of windows installed on it.

The third category is of the users who need to use the computer’s ability to go basic tasks. They need to check their email, while they listen to music and have a movie on hold in the background. They need to be incredibly boring on the dinner table, because I don’t want to fucking know that you actually learnt that whales are mammals and that your IQ has increased to 70 points. I have spent years of my life dealing with insipid narcissists who have a severe brain deficiencies and I do not want to listen to conversations which push me down the IQ ladder any more.

This category of users will be called the Computer utilizers. They need to have a Mac.

It’s all right. I am not a bad person. I am just vicious and bitter. Also, if I don’t get a whole lot of sex soon, I will be vicious, bitter and perverse. There. Oh, oh, but I am a bed person. I love being in bed. With or without other people.

Wow. If any one of you out there is a psychiatrist, psychologist or just able to assess people, and specifically if you are hot men who will be able to give me love, can you please not email me to tell me that you are insane.

Oh, and yes, whichever one of you searched for “Amazing Gay Sex Karachi” on Google and landed on my blog. Email me now! I need some of that too.

And, I think that if you are a guy, you are not allowed to say fabulous or worst yet – fab. You are not. You are just so not.

See, see, this is what happens. This is what happens to otherwise slightly insane people (read me) when they do not get sex for a very long time. They go stark raving mad! Like me now! Oh My God! I cannot believe I am blogging like this. This is like a fucking scary telephone call when you just cannot hang up because you are stuck in a fucking vicious circle of lies, deceit and self birthing faux pas!

Before I say more. I beg to take to your leave. Good evening and enjoy yourselves. And if you happen to have some good porn quality sex, please do write to me in detail. That seems to be the only sexual intercourse that I will be having in some time.

Issues

Day 10,164 – Sunday – 22 Asadha 1930 – 09 Rajab 1429 – 13 July 2008

The problem with meeting too many people for eventual sexual purposes is that one gets to listen to too many things that one does not want to listen to.

I, for one, have had the pleasure of being rejected too many times for the reasons that I am fat, that I am ugly and that I have a small dick in the past two weeks that it is not even humorous any more, rather it is concerning and depressing. With all these faults, I can only thank God that I did indeed get all the sex that I have gotten to date.

Thank you Lord for the sex that you provide.

And yes, I am blogging from my new MacBook. Very very difficult shifting from Windows/PC to X/Mac. But amazing. Will start blogging more often from here.

Lust

Day 10,153 – Wednesday – 11 Asadha 1930 – 27 Jamadi us Sani 1429 – 02 July 2008

Another sexually graphic email also pertaining to homosexuality. Please ignore if this thing makes you uncomfortable and if you are not 18 yet.

I was going on a blind pre fuck screening date thing with this guy in the afternoon. And he turned out to be an absolute moron. While I was sitting there, listening to him go on and on about how good he is in bed, I was thinking about the following. If my average IQ is 167 and my weight is 90kgs. And I get to sleep with him. And his weight is 80kgs. And his IQ is obviously less than 10. Than the average iq of the fuck session on my bed would be lower than 90. I just can not put my bed up for ridicule and damnation is such a situation. So, guys, if you IQ is below 33. We are not having sex.

Sorry.

And, I really do not like Sex and the City. Does this mean I am gay? Or not?

Oh and yes, noone is allowed to have romantic/psychological/emotional issues before vital organs are touched. If I havent touched your penis, kissed your lips or played with you ass yet, you can not call me up and tell me that I am not giving you all the time that you need.