Archive for porn

Mille

Day 10,384 – Friday – 30 Phalgun 1930 – 22 Rabi ul Awwal 1430 – 21 March 2009

Ok. Ok. Ok.

So, this is the 1,000 th post. I wanted it to be special. Then I got extremely bogged down in work. I realize I am becoming boring now. With age and all. And then I didnt get time to write something nice. Lots of things happened. I wanted to write more. But didnt get even the lesser amount of time. It got bad. Things piled on. Time got shorter. I didnt get time to write. The responsibility got huge. And I couldnt do it. It got more difficult with each passing day.

A very vicious cycle indeed.

So here I break it.

Depression is over. For about three months. Thank God.

Work is amazing and extremely demanding of time and life.

Friends are going insane one after the other.

I am becoming boring and irritable.

Things are great.

I went to a Jyotishi and a Tarot Card reader. They both told me it is a very bad time for me. Should get better soon.

Otherwise things are ok with life.

Havent even had time to date anyone or indulge in internet excapades. That busy. Trust me!

So, here goes, my 1,000th post. So hastily ill written it is not even funny.

Ugh. This is disgusting.

Advertisements

Wedding Food

Day 10,297 – Wednesday – 04 Pausa 1930 – 25 Zilhaj 1429 – 24 December 2008

So, the depression is wearing off. Hours and hours of self therapy and telling myself that I need to calm the fuck down have helped. Of course a lot of gay porn was also good thing for me during this trying time.

On an unrelated note, I went to a wedding yesterday. And the food there was absofuckinglutely amazing. And the adding of the adjective fucking in the previous sentence was required because otherwise the meaning to be conveyed would have been lost.

Bizarredeficonnectoutrearth

Day 10,174 – Wednesday – 01 Sravana 1930 – 19 Rajab 1429 – 23 July 2008

The title can be broken up as; bizarre is weird; defi is lack of; connect is connection to; outre is outer; earth is world. Hence weird lack of connection to the outer world.

Since this morning I am feeling an absolute disconnect between myself and the rest of the world. It can not be verbalized easily. I feel as if everything in the world outside me has changed. As if I am in a different dimension and something has changed. I feel the same about myself, but something or rather everything outside me has changed. I have had this very same feeling on two occasions before this. 

The first one and the most vivid and strong one was during my university. I woke up, went back to my university after a two week break. And I felt completely out of sync with whatever was going on there. Completely, as if I have changed completely and each one of my relationships with people and each one of my relationships with objects have changed completely. As if millennia have passed for me but not for anything else. Do I feel emotionally attached to anything else any longer? I now feel as if I didnt. I had to build all of my earlier relationships with people as well as objects again. 

Same thing happened to me about two years ago. Again, I sleep in my world, my dimension, but when I wake up, I am in another world. Exactly similar, yet completely changed. But this one was very mild, but noticeable since I had been through it once. If I hadnt been through it, I am sure I would have noticed this one as well, it was that strong.

And this is the third one. Milder still. Yet still noticeable. A weird and strange feeling. Do not know and can not explain.

Do other people have this feeling as well? Or not? God! Am I really going insane. I have to go watch some porn and see if at least some of my relationships maintain their importance and depth.

PS – Yes they do ;) I have been cured.

Overtures

Saturday – 10 Jamadi us Sani 1424 – 18 Sravana 1925 – 09 August 2003   

ok here is the normal post. without an abnormally high level of excitement or patriotic hoopla.

since i have nothing interesting to tell. except that i wore starched kurta pajama today. bright white. looked wonderful. then something went wrong with the car. i had to get it fixed. i has to sit for two hours besides the car while it was being fixed in that dress. to people who are not from my country. it was like wearing an ancient egyptian army uniform to college as a matter of routine. i had to try and hide. but the clothes were SO white they shone like the sun.

why am i such a moronic buffoon.

also since i dont have anything interesting to post i think i will tell you one of my college stories.

i think one guy may have tried to offer to have sex with me once. i am not sure coz he didnt say that openly. it was late at night. i was at a friends. and this other guy comes in. he was slightly strange. but i liked him sexually. we talked for a while. then he asked me over to his place to check his computer out. there was somethign wrong with it.

so i went with him. alone. at night. with a man that i lust for. wishing to myself that he rips my clothes off and takes me.

but we talked about stuff. then we started talking about porn. str8 porn. i was notorious for being a porn junkie. which i was. so we talk and talk. i got hard. but i noticed that since he opened his mouth i am not interested in him any more. he was an idiot. and we were talking about porn. i was still hard. then he shocked the living daylight out of me. he told me “i sometimes even like to watch gay porn”. i was shocked. i finished the conversation hastily. and ran like the wind.

i cannot lose my virginity to someone with an IQ less than 12.3. i hope he was trying to hit on me. coz that would be my first proposal to sex. albeit for a buffoon.

and then i wonder why i am a virgin. GOD!