Archive for selfloathing

Despair

Day 10,274 – Monday – 10 Agrahayana 1930 – 02 Zilhaj 1429 – 01 December 2008

I feel that being dark, hairy, fat, ugly and generally disgusting is causing a serious problem in my sex life.

That is, I am not getting enough and I am sex deprived all the time.

Oh God! It is so difficult being ugly like you wouldnt believe.

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Apology

Thursday – 30 Jamadi ul Awwal 1424 – 09 Sravana 1925 – 31 July 2003 

hi all of you out there.

first of all i would like to apologize for yesterdays outburst. just some problems i am going through. shouldnt have thrown it all on you guys like that.

well one thing that i should tell all of you that read this blog. i have seen a lot of people blog about being in bad moods and such. but for me when i am in a bad mood. all my negative emotions, thoughts and feelings are directed towards me. i am everything that is wrong. never someone else. so when i do get in a bad mood i get nasty against me. nothing to get worried or concerned about ok. it is my format for a bad mood.

also when i am in a bad mood i tend to get very graphic. you should thank allah i dont type this thing in urdu. which is my mother tongue. if i did. most of you would just freeze in shock reading what kinds of things i think when i am in a bad mood and also do not shirk from writing down.

and francis i am NOT scum. i just thought i was for about 5 hours yesterday. and next time i am in a bad mood i will make it a point to read your comment to cheer me up.

also mak and crash. thank you very much. means a lot to know there are people out there.