Archive for stupidity

Coitophobia

Day 10,273 – Sunday – 09 Agrahayana 1930 – 01 Zilhaj 1429 – 30 November 2008

Ok. So, I think that after my recent “relationship” I am going to be afraid of relationships and sex.  Voila, a new phobia is born.

I am not going to date fucking idiots simply because I think they are hot.

HyperGylcemia

Day 10,094 – Sunday – 14 Vaisakh 1930 – 27 Rabi us Sani 1429 – 04 May 2008

So, basically, after being dumped for not being high on the looks scale, the consequent collapse in self esteem, and the ego shattering grovelling. I am quite over him. Took about twenty to thirty hours with myself. But now it is over. One thing I cant get over is the “you are a nice guy” comment when we broke up. I am not a nice guy. Since he didnt get to read my blog, he didnt know this.

I feel like laughing loudly, violently and in an evil manner. Like they do in the movies.

Moving on.

Had an interesting weekend. Met up with a lot of people. Including Dr Sahab, strictly as a nice guy friend.

I am such an idiot.

If there was an idiot meter. I would have broken it.

Abysmal

Day 10,092 – Friday – 12 Vaisakh 1930 – 25 Rabi us Sani 1429 – 02 May 2008

Abysmal. That just about sums up my performance over the past two days.

First Dr Sahab breaks up with me. And then he tells me that we should still be friends, reeling from this revelation he drops by to meet up “as friends” on Wednesday night. Just my luck.

I wake up on Thursday, decide that I can not do the friend thing. He calls me up late at night, just to talk, “as friends”. I told him that being friends is a bit too painful for me. And I think we should cease all contact. To that he gave me his opinion whereby people should be able to remain friends outside and/or after a relationship. But he was benificient enough to allow me to cease contact because different people behave differently. Two people with different opinions, but still able to not kill each other.

So, things had ended. All contact has ceased. I did not want that to happen. A part of me told me that if I remained friends he will come back. I was just not ready for cesession of all relations. And since everyone knows that I am an idiot. I decided to be an idiot. I called him before the Prayer break. And I told him that I think we should remain friends. He, of course, said yes. Stupid. Jalal is stupid. Jalal is stupid.

So, basically, how much should one fall? How much? This is below fall. This is sinking into oblivion. Uggghhhhhh. Now that there is not even a shard of self respect left I need to find an absolutely cute guy, and we need to go out and also invite Dr Sahab and be incredibly loving in front of him. And if possible he can lift the car with his bare arms and I can change the flat tire. And then we can both have sweaty, oily, greasy, grimy man sex in front of the car with Dr Sahab looking on and feeling sorry for his loss.

Jalal you are such an absolute fucking idiot.

Action

Day 10,070 – Thursday – 21 Chaitra 1930 – 03 Rabi us Sani 1429 – 10 April 2008

Today can easily be described as a comedy of small and large errors of a non sinister fashion with a dash of incidents that have no effect whatsoever on the comedy of errors.

I got a raise at work. Something like 30%. Which means that not nearly good enough for me to be happy about it. And to think that I still behave like a loyal employee to this organization.

I went for an interview at another organization. I was called up by their HR two weeks ago. The interview went very well. They liked me and called me for another interview with the regional chief in Dubai. That went very well as well. Then four days ago, I get a call from someone in the HR department offering me a job that I had already said in the first interview that I will not be interested in. My belief in the lack of general rudimentary intelligence floundered on the shores of stupidity and idioticness. And they offer me a lower salary than I wanted. Well and good. I said no right there on the phone. Then the next day, I get a call from the HR head, he is offering me the same position and increasing the salary by a small amount. Wow. Wrong again. I do not want a dead end processing job where I can not add any value whatsoever to the organization and in doing so loose my credibility as a capable professional. So I said no. Then, today, they called me over for another meeting. I was expecting they would offer me another position. But, guess what, no no, guess what, no no, guess what, I am not telling you this, you need to guess this, because this is indeed so interesting. Well, they offered me the same position again. And told me that I dont have to reply immediately and that I have to give a reply tomorrow. So, basically, I am going to say no to them. If anything, this episode has further strengthened my resolve to hate stupid and evil people.

And then, me and my friend at work, who are both on a special diet of her design, had lunch together. I was trying to break the tikka piece, and it broke, but I got sprayed with the masala. And since nothing could be done. I had to spend the rest of my day with a huge spray of Tikka Masala on my shirt. Argh! If I werent known as wierd at my place of work, I would definitely not have been able to get away with this.

And of course, I met Doctor Sahab again. He came with a friend of his. Nice guy. Interesting evening. And, for general information, the Shawarma at Damascus is not all that good. And, again, for the same purpose of general information, the Chocolate Silk Pie at Arizone Grill is quite good. Worth the money, to say the least.

Barberism

Day 10,068 – Tuesday – 19 Chaitra 1930 – 30 Rabi ul Awwal 1429 – 08 April 2008

So, after much ado. After being hounded by people for the past two weeks. I got my hair cut today. As always, the fucking idiots left the side burns of different lenghts. One is slightly lower than the other. And of course the angle of the lower cut edge with the central axis of the face is different as well. Idiots. I did not tip the guy well. After shaving for years and years even I can get a very straight cut on my goatee and sideburns. How difficult is it for you if you do this for work? Not so much. With Jalal focussing on all the wrong things, you must wonder after my sanity, and I would like to thank you all for your severely mis placed concern.

You should be talking about the excessive dating that has been going on recently. I met him last night as well.

But, today, whilst having lunch with friend, one of them was quite excited and kept talking. And all that was going on in my mind was “why is she talking so much, she is grabbing all the attention, maybe if I talked a lot I could get the attention, attention is everything, it is energy, maybe I should start talking now, focus everything towards myself”. Then I stopped. Then I thought about what I was thinking. It scared me. Maybe I am completely psychotic.

This is so bad.

Movement

Day 10,059 – Sunday – 10 Chaitra 1930 – 21 Rabi ul Awwal 1429 – 30 March 2008

So, I went to see two apartments. Fucking sucked. Dirty, dingy, stuffy, smelly hovels! So, I have given my estate agent (definitely non cute, 3 on a scale of 0 to 100) a list of what we want, me, and my friend. And, again, so how seriously fucking difficult is to tell someone directions to a place. What the fuck does turn right from Teen Talwar mean? There are four roads going up to Teel Talwar. I can take a right on any one of them. Oh, oh, yes, right, the road called Road X? Right. It is a two way fucking road, I can take a right and go to two opposing roads. Moron! Oh, ok, the road going from A to B take a right. Thank you. Brainless twit! After this conversation the estate agent was downgraded to a 2.

I saw a movie Cloverfield. Amazing. Good. This is exactly what I needed. A large number of additions to the list of psychological disorders that I already have. It is bad enough that I can not sleep in the dark because I am afraid of God knows what. It is bad enough that I have over a period of time become so psychotic that in any possible reality I can see at least five to ten different alternate realities, which have by now become very regular and at times seem more real than the reality around me. And then, I, Mr Moron, go ahead and watch Cloverfield. I have avoided all movies classfied as Horror for the past two to three years, and then I do this. How much is my IQ again? Equivalent to that of a rather stupid chicken?

Oh and yes, I have another amazing idea on how I want to lead my life. I want to buy a horse, sit on it, and ride away. And keep riding for the rest of my life. And write, while I am not riding. I want to travel the world on horseback like everyone’s ancestors. Yeah, right, as if the idea of spending the rest of my life in a Zepplein/Blimp was not preposterous enough. And yes, as any normal / sane person might have guessed. There are two other idea. In one, I have a Caravan. And in the other a large boat.

Dont, look at me, talk to Jalal. He is the crazy one.

Accident

Friday – 08 Ramazan 1428 – 30 Bhadra 1929 – 21 September 2007

So today turned out to be a very active day. As opposed to how I like my days.  I always want a bit of sanity and I also want that when I get home I can relax after work. That is the least that someone can expect after they bust their ass at work from 9 am to 9 pm on a daily basis six days a week with Sundays off. But then again, it seems that everyone in my family has a different idea of fun and being active.

To start off with, the cook. Ok, he moves so fast, and works in such a frazzled way that I get scared of him. And I mean scared. His hands move at such a fast pace that I feel as if there are phobias growing inside of me. And, today, due to this very reason, this uncontrollable haste, he dropped a frying pan full of bubbling oil on his foot. His foot gets burned and he has to be taken to the hospital.

We go to the South City hospital. A good hospital otherwise. But, we have an injured/burned guy sitting in the waiting area and we are being told that since this hospital does not have an Emergency Room they cannot attend to the patient. Now, what in fuck’s name is the use of having a fucking hospital in the middle of the fucking city if a patient is dying on the extremely  expensive leather chairs in the waiting lounge because the fucking building says hospital and the guy who was in an accident thinks he might save his fucking life by going to this moron dungeon. If you dont have a fucking place where morons when they are about to die come in to get treated do not fucking put up a hospital sign on your front fucking door. Stupid capitalist heartless asshole fucks. Hippocrates is dead.

So, we went to another hospital. By this time my cook is an agony. It was Ziauddin hospital, which was actually a hospital. He was taken for treatment. So, I had to get all the medicine and all so they could bind the wound and all. I get the stuff and then ask the guy to charge it on my credit card. I am told that they do not take credit card payments for less than 200 rupees.  So, I told him that I dont have cash so we cannot treat the guy. There was an argument, I even told him to charge me 200 rupees and just gimme the stuff I wanted, the rest was for the procedure, he didnt do that either. I had to buy things for 200 rupees. But then, he told me that I can always pay later and there is no need for me to keep arguing that I must pay him by my Credit Card right then. Moron, he made it seem as if I was arguing with him when it was him arguing with me. I mean, fuck! I hate manipulative people.

In the middle of this, I had to go pick up my sister. My two other sisters and my mother called me twice each to tell me this within a 10 minute period. I was supposed to pick her up at 8. But they told me 7:30, it was 7:15. So, I rushed out of the hospital to pick her up. I got two phone calls within the next 10 minutes. I got very rushed and frazzled. I had an accident. There was a dog running on the road, the guy in front of my screeched to a stop and I hit him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. And in the next 10 minutes on my way to pick up my sister I got two other phone calls reminding me to pick her up. When I got there she sat in the car to leave and was so pissed. I asked her why and she said she had gotten 10 calls from everyone telling her that I will pick her up so she should hurry up. This is 7:35. Dinner had been served 2 mins ago and the party was over at 8. She was so angry, and so was I. There were 2 more phone calls to confirm if I had picked her up. I shashed my mobile on the car’s dashboard. It is still working thankfully. But, I fucking hate stupid fucking women. I think men should be allowed to beat up women if they are so fucking stupid that they dont fucking realize that you are not supposed to fucking call people more than 2 fucking times in an hour.

Things were ok till then. Despite dealing with moronic hospital staff, evil dispensary guys and fucking irrtating family members I was in a good mood. Then I had a fight with my fiance. Since this section involves two people, I dont know if this is right or this is just my biased opinion. Since my fiance lives in a different city, I think she wants us to talk on the phone for at least 2 hours on a daily basis. Impossible for me due to work, but I manage. Today we had some guests over. So, I just SMSd her that I wont be able to talk to her and she should go to sleep. Then she sent messages like, I wanna talk to you for 2 mins and stuff. And I was so so so irritated. I mean, she can call me, she doesnt have to play games. Khair, all in all, we had a huge fight. And now I hate women more.

So, moral of the story is, you cant change people. If people want to relax after work. Let them. If they are doing something already. Do not fucking call them ten fucking times within an hour to do the same thing. And lastly, please dont fucking expect your fiance to call you for two hours on a daily basis. He is a guy and we just dont fucking do that. Otherwise you can just become a lesbian and share your fucking feelings all day long. If you want a fucking penis then dont go around looking for a pussy. Good God. I need to shut up.

PS – Sorry guys, too much venom, dont mean most of it, use my blog for catharsis. Dont think about this again. I dont want more cases of psychosis due to my blog ;)

Defence Day

Saturday – 08 Rajab 1424 – 15 Bhadra 1925 – 06 September 2003 

the 6th of september was the day in 1965 that india and pakistan went to war. india crossed over the international border between pakistan and india at about 5 am on the night of 6th september and invaded pakistan. pakistan resisted the attack. well the war dragged on for some time. both sides declared a victory and got extrememly excited after the war was over. they still talk about how they whooped each other asses.

well to india. fuck you. you didnt get anything. you didnt get kashmir. you didnt get any of your objectives. how the hell can you call that a victory. if you dont get your fucking objectives you cant say you have won.

well to pakistan. fuck you. you didnt capture any indian territory of importance. you didnt get kashmir. you didnt manage to stop india. if you cant fucking get your objectives you cant say you have won.

to india and pakistan. FUCK YOU! you fucking morons. the people in your countries were in abject poverty during that time. things were worst then than they are now. HOW DARE YOU GO TO WAR !!! nations where people dont get their rights. where people have to sleep hungry and drink unclean water. where the basic necessities of life as defined at that time werent available. HOW DARE YOU GO TO WAR !!! SICK SICK SICK AND PERVERTED !!! damned idiotic politicians and military men. DAMN YOU !!!

the only thing that we hear about is how many planes were downed. who destroyed whos how many ships. etc etc etc. well noone ever talks about how many people died. indian and pakistani ? dont we fucking count. is this only a game for the fucked up hindu and muslim military personnel to butcher each other and us in the process ? is this how it happens.

why dont we count ? the citizens and the civilians. we do not want war. we want peace. we want to lead normal lives where there isnt a power cut or load shedding for abotu two hours a day. i want the roads to be built which are currently HORRIBLE in karachi. that is what i want. i dont want pakistan or india to fight wars and kill me. i want them to give me a life which i can lead as a human not an animal like we 1.3 billion humans do right now.

to india and pakistan and their desire to kill and maim us only so that they can hide their own political inadequecies. FUCK YOU ! give me clean water. give me continuous electricity. give me a job. give me a working civic system. give me a proper education. give me a clean environment. if you cant do that … which you havent been able to till now. FUCK YOU !

FUCK Government of Republic of India and Government of Islamic Republic of Pakistan

LONG LIVE PAKISTAN AND INDIA AND THEIR PEOPLE

it is about time the guns went down. and the elements of peace security and prosperity took over.

Long live the people of India Pakistan and Bangladesh.

Pakistan Paindabad … Jai Hind

South Asia Zindabad.

Rickshaw rolling down a bridge

Tuesday – 20 Jamadi us Sani 1424 – 28 Sravana 1925 – 19 August 2003 

today i am at my cousins. he just gave his exam so i came over because he would be alone otherwise. well he is a very nice guy. the kindof person that you can spend time with without getting bored to death and you will not want to leave his company.

that said i will proceed. the thing is i am a person who likes to joke a lot. well at times i forget that you are not supposed to go crazy with someone you just met. well i was on the bus. the conductor said something which i thought was something else. i joked about something. he got serious and said something. i again took it as something else. well lets just say he told me i was an idiot. not very nice when 15 people are hearing you being called that in a bus.

mental note to self : never joke with someone you have met the first time. and if you do, make fun of yourself, NOT his education.

also when you are at the top of a bridge. and the rickshaw stops and you and the driver get out. HOLD IT !!! maybe the driver thinks you will hold it and that is why he just left it. and when the thing starts hurtling down. you will have to run like a fucking horse on fire to catch it. which i did. and when you get to it. it will have a HUGE impetus. believe me. so stop it when it is easier.

mental note to self : contain the situation when you can. do not let it hurtle out of control.

well thank god i had a nice post today. i will see you later. bye yall. have fun at least someone should.

oh and yes another thing. my cousins friends came over. one of them made a point at me. he was known as the kindof person who is good at such things. well lets just say that after half an hour the other 4 people were falling out of their chairs while i made that guy look like a complete idiot.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!! the wonders of being a bitch and feeling good about it as well.

Exercise

Saturday – 17 Jamadi us Sani 1424 – 25 Sravana 1925 – 16 August 2003

hmmm. well things have been going pretty smooth. except my internet connection. people, please dont scoff at me. i am aware of your predicament. i pass through it every night for an hour or two. it is horrible.

well one thing. the basic rule of having a cyber. never do it with someone when there is a lag longer than 20 seconds. and definitely not when the lag is 49 seconds.

except for that another thing i learnt today. when you try to push things that are too heavy you can hurt yourself. although i didnt do it. someone else did. but i learnt a lesson which is the point basically.

also i finally managed to work out. after no workouts for the last 5 years my body was in the perfect natural condition. prime in its natural beauty and width. so after just 4 push ups my body died. i saw my soul go upto the heaven. it was kicked back by the angels who were afraid it was so big that the heavens might fall down. so now i have to loose weight. not only to attract guys. but also to go to heaven. damn it. well the work outs went well. for those of you who know me this is a big thing. i have crossed over.

oh yes and also. when there is no electricity and you are playing with a candle. make sure you sit in such a way that it doesnt burn your hair ;) aslo make sure it doesnt drop melted wax on your fingers.

cheerio.