Archive for Work

Frozen Shoulder

Day 10,483 – Sunday – 07 Asadha 1930 – 04 Rajab ul Murajjab 1430 – 28 June 2009

I guess all of you guys will have to get used to the fact that I will, from now on, be blogging very irregularly, as in once a quarter or something. Work and other things in life have just become very extreme and do not allow enough time for blogging. I have no idea why, but that is how it is.

So, for now, I am going to have the following goals in life, I want to learn how to speak French and Farsi and I want to learn Horseriding, Swordfighting, Archery and Shooting and I want to be able to write regularly and I want to have a top of the line caravan that I can spend the rest of my life travelling in.

And, I want to have emotion free sex with millions of strangers in exotic cities, locations and places.

But, one does not get everything one wants, and one must learn to live as they are.

In other news, one of the reasons for not blogging for the past three months would be the fear elicited by the fact that my blog has been quoted in both an Indian newspaper / online news source, and now and American one. The closet door is being banged at very hard. For all the actions where I have come out of the closet to my family and friends does not mean that I am ready to do it officially. Not in Pakistan. I can not. Sorry. So, since this blog has started coming into international media showcasing Pakistani homosexuals, I would have to request you people to at least not try to knock on the closet door.

From this I would wonder why we even use the term closet door? Why?

And I will leave you to that.

Oh and yes, the guy who plays Kirk in the new Star Trek, Chris Pine. Fucking yummy.

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Mille

Day 10,384 – Friday – 30 Phalgun 1930 – 22 Rabi ul Awwal 1430 – 21 March 2009

Ok. Ok. Ok.

So, this is the 1,000 th post. I wanted it to be special. Then I got extremely bogged down in work. I realize I am becoming boring now. With age and all. And then I didnt get time to write something nice. Lots of things happened. I wanted to write more. But didnt get even the lesser amount of time. It got bad. Things piled on. Time got shorter. I didnt get time to write. The responsibility got huge. And I couldnt do it. It got more difficult with each passing day.

A very vicious cycle indeed.

So here I break it.

Depression is over. For about three months. Thank God.

Work is amazing and extremely demanding of time and life.

Friends are going insane one after the other.

I am becoming boring and irritable.

Things are great.

I went to a Jyotishi and a Tarot Card reader. They both told me it is a very bad time for me. Should get better soon.

Otherwise things are ok with life.

Havent even had time to date anyone or indulge in internet excapades. That busy. Trust me!

So, here goes, my 1,000th post. So hastily ill written it is not even funny.

Ugh. This is disgusting.

Huntley Ritter

Day 10,291 – Thursday – 27 Agrahayana 1930 – 19 Zilhaj 1429 – 18 December 2008

Yes, you read it right. That is the topic.

Why do I feel, at least right now, that that is the hottest, most sexiest man alive? And I mean kicking any other man out of bed as compared to this one.

Of course that is with his golden goatee.

God!

Oh, and SAK from work. Is very very cute. Of course not as cute as Huntley Ritter, but very very cute otherwise indeed.

And about my friend; I don’t want to sound like I have a low opinion of myself or have any other self image issues, I am very confident and happy with who and what I am. But I think he is too good for me, I am not worthy of him and dont deserve him. I mean, he is everything one could ask for, and hence, yes, I do think about him at times. He does not know about this. And he does not know about this blog. So he will not find out. But; he is a catch. Just not going to be my catch. Oh, and for me, he is at 0.999 Huntley Ritter.

Boss

Day 10,130 – Monday – 19 Jyaistha 1930 – 04 Jamadi us Sani 1429 – 09 June 2008

I hate my boss. Dont get me wrong. He is a good guy. He is a good professional. He is a good human being. And he is incredibly irritating. Basically, he is human and that should be enough. But it hardly ever is. Noone wants asshole boss. Some might accept boss. But we all want super boss. Well, they dont exist. At least not in my realm of reality. If you do happen to come across one, please call me immediately, so I can start working with him/her.

Uffffff. The guy repeated the same thing six times today. How the fuck do I know? Why the fuck do I know this for sure? Because I counted. And why in fucks name would I do that??? Because he does repeat a lot and I actually counted.

Why do I get a feeling that I seriously need a life?

In addition to all this excessive talking, I am beginning to realize that I have some version or form of dyslexia. I was reading the previous post and there are times where I have typed the absolutely wrong word. Of instead of Right. And Gone instead of London. And other such things. I do that. I never correct it because I think that is self censorship and that it murders the concept of stream of consciousness.

Wow. Fuck. I guess I can already see a dyslexic mistake.

Now, should I go to a shrink or what?

A a a a a a r r r r r r r r r g g g g g g g g h h h h h h h h h h h h h.

Cake

Day 10,106 – Friday – 26 Vaisakh 1930 – 10 Jamadi ul Awwal 1429 – 16 May 2008

If stupidity were Gold my office would be glittering.  But, one manages to live with idiots. And enjoy them all the same. Of course when you are making fun of someone with a stright face, it just makes things so beautiful.

And, things are also made beautiful when it is your friend’s brithday. You tell them you are not having cake because of your diet, and your resolve to find good sex, and they dont listen to you. Two of your colleagues grab you and your arms. And the birthday girl, who I hate for now, crams an extra large piece of creamy, soft, melty, delicious, chocolate cake into my face. From that moment onwards, I love chocolate cake. And I love my friend for force feeding me. Of course, the fact that in the action half of it fell on my tie and my incredibly ugly shirt does leave a lot to be desired. So, walking around the office with chocolate cake splotches on my shirt is definitely not something anyone reading this should try.

Oh, and yes, if this does happen to you, and someone mentions it, please, please, please, do not tell them to “You can lick it off if you want to, I can take my shirt off to help you out”. Because then she/he can always slap you.

I tried both, using this on a guy and a girl, same reaction.

Oh and yes, I forgot to post the rules of engagment on the back seat of my car. As you all know, if I know you, then I can drive you around Karachi as you engage in any level of activities in the back seat of my car. That was a given. But, I should have posted the rules for this. The rules are,

1 – Either one of you has to be cute. I decide. Or I can call it off without any reaction whatsoever.
2 – I can sneak a peek.
3 – I dont have to join if I dont want to. Dont ask me, give me reasonable hints, I will revert back if I am interested.
There. That is it.

Speech

Day 10,097 – Wednesday – 17 Vaisakh 1930 – 01 Jamadi ul Awwal 1429 – 07 May 2008

Although I am certain of the fact that nothing I say or do has the power of amazing any of you any more. But, even then, I will say it. I am a over excitable. When I exercise regularly; when I work less than ten hours a day; and when I do not have my personal life crashing around me I turn into super Jalal. There, shock!

What I mean by super Jalal is someone who walks very fast, talks very very fast, thinks faster than he is able to express in any given format, and most of all has his sex drive shooting across oceans. Bascially, long story short. I am super Jalal since Monday. Work has settled down. I am over Dr Sahab. I am exercising like a freak since I noticed that the previous month of slight exercise and diet control has started to make a visible difference. Please excuse me while I hit my head on the roof repeatedly.

And one interesting that happened today was a one hour call with Dr Sahab. Now that we are better off as “just friends” we really like to talk to each other. So he said something that made all of my previous psychotic fears and neurotic phobias suddenly come to life. He said that there are some people who completely think about something that has happened when it has not occurred at all. I have no idea what he was talking about. Was he talking about us. Becuase I remember occasions which meant that this is a relationship. Did he mean us breaking up. Which I am sure we did since he SMSd. Or, did I hallucinate this? Or did I have a psychotic / neurotic episode?

What the fuck was he talking about. Why the fuck am I so absolutely insane that at the slightest hint of someone saying something I start questioning myself? I need to get laid! Bye ;)

Endorphins

Day 10,080 – Sunday – 31 Chaitra 1930 – 13 Rabi us Sani 1429 – 20 April 2008

I hate my fucking Internet Wallah Guy. Not so much because my internet connection fucking sucks and I havent had a proper internet connection for the past two weeks. But because he is not cute at all and still insists on wearing tight t shirts and ugly shorts. And, although I am definitely not averse to male displays of skin, I would rather not see this guys skin. Unless I am horny. Which, nowadays, I am not.

So, things at work are finally working out well. Quite well. And no trouble on that front. Except for the fact that I have been told that I need to talking as loudly as I do because it disturbs other people. Sure, it is ok for everyone else in the building to scream their lungs out, but I think it is wrong if I do so. And when I say scream, I mean scream! People scream, and so do I. I am not loud goddamnit!!! So shut up!

And on an important note, I have changed three hair styles in the past two weeks. Three. And I dont think I am done. There were days, when I used to have a completely different hairstyle for work and a completely different one for the evening. Does this mean that my hair are wonderful and help me become a better person? Or does this mean that I need to hire a panel of psychologists and psychiatrists who need to study me and then suggest cures? I dont know. It is up to you readers to decide. And, to be honest, all this sudden explosion of typing. Endorphins. From the exercise. I love seratonin and endorphins. Sound like Ancient Turkish Gods. And if they are; I would like to sleep with both of them. Please!

As per earlier promises of sharing of information. My diet and exercise have had an effect. I have lost some weight, and most importantly, I think I am starting to loose inches as well. Which makes my climb the ladder of the sex arena. A very very helpful thought indeed!

And yes, things with Dr Sahib are going quite well.